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Quotes / They Changed It, Now It Sucks!

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    Films (Live-Action) 
NOOOO! What's it doing? Stupid, fat hobbit, you ruins it!
Gollum (upon finding out that the raw rabbits he caught have been cooked by Sam for a stew), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

If I sometimes invent an incident which I forget upon the next narration, they [the children] remind one directly that the story was different before; so that I now endeavour to relate with exactness the same anecdote in the same monotonous tone, which never changes. I find by this, how much an author injures his works by altering them, even though they be improved in a poetical point of view. The first impression is readily received. We are so constituted that we believe the most incredible things; and, once they are engraved upon the memory, woe to him who would endeavour to efface them.
August 15 entry, The Sorrows of Young Werther

    Live-Action TV 

I don't know the answer, so I'm going to have to take a wild guess...which really isn't supposed to be the point of this game - either you know the answer or you bluff.
Gene Rayburn after being asked a question on The Match Game-Hollywood Squares Hour (June 29, 1984)explanation 

Oh, you've redecorated! I don't like it.

Hov' on that new shit, niggas like "How come?"
Niggas want my old shit, buy my old albums
Niggas stuck on stupid, I gotta keep it movin'
Niggas make the same shit; me, I make
The Blueprint
Jay-Z, "On To The Next One"

And its seems ugly, but it can get worse
'Cause even a blueprint is a gift and a curse
'Cause once you got a theory of how the thing works
Everybody wants the next thing to be just like the first
And I'm not a robot, I'm not a monkey
I will not dance, even if the beat's funky
Opposite of lazy - far from a punk
You all ought to stop talking
Start trying to
catch up, motherfucker!''
- Linkin Park addressing their fans who wanted their Hybrid Theory sound back in When They Come For Me

I miss the old Kanye, straight from the 'Go Kanye
Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye
I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye
The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye
I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye
I gotta say, at that time I'd like to meet Kanye
See, I invented Kanye, it wasn't any Kanyes
And now I look and look around and there's so many Kanyes
I used to love Kanye, I used to love Kanye
I even had the pink polo, I thought I was Kanye
What if Kanye made a song about Kanye
Called "I Miss The Old Kanye"? Man, that'd be so Kanye
That's all it was Kanye, we still love Kanye
And I love you like Kanye loves Kanye

And I keep picking petals
I'm afraid you don't love me anymore
'Cause a kid on the 'Gram in a Black Dahlia tank
Says it ain't heavy metal
And that's alright
Bring Me the Horizon, "heavy metal"

Niggas be like, "Oh, he changed his style up"
Shut the fuck up, you're still a dick-rider
It's '96, so get with it
Keep that "back in the day" shit for when that other squad was hittin
Redman, "Pick It Up"

    Video Games 
What happened to the penguin cameos? Damn you, Nintendo!
Elder Xelpud, La-Mulana (apparently complaining about [['s_Ping_Pong Smash Ping Pong]]?)

I never understood why they changed the sound effect when the princess appears.
It was "Deet-dinga-deet-ling!" then suddenly it was "dinga-deet-dinga-ling!"
As if no one would notice! Pffft! True fans care about important stuff about that.

Man, the new animation is sooo bad!! It's lazy! They ruined the show!!!!!

    Web Comics 
I can't believe it! I'm actually going to play the game of my dreams! An embodiment of my childhood! Pipe bombs, pig cops, rechargeable shields, strip—waaaaiiit. RECHARGEABLE SHIELDS? Change to MY nostalgia? UNACCEPTABLE!!
Leo, VG Cats

    Web Original 
The need for geeks to have things be the way they always have been permeates their existence. It is not simply a desire to never see anything change, it's a point of view that simply refuses to acknowledge the existence of time altogether. A side effect of this is the way that geeks can take anything that's marginally amusing and run it into the ground until it's beyond unbearable. If something was ever funny to them, then it's always funny, and it always will be.
"The Status Quo", Stuff Geeks Love

Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Wait! Don’t kill me! I need to bleed onto my yellow smiley face button at an awkward angle so that the raging Watchmen fanbois in the audience are placated.
Morgan: Okay, ready.
Rapid Fanbois: Boo. The blood splatter is four degrees off.

Hardcore fans of Hellblazer will hate Constantine for not being an exact copy of the comic. Then again, Brazilian hardcore fans of Hellblazer probably don't fill a van.
—Brazilian magazine SET, reviewing Constantine

"But wait, Yahtzee Croshaw, you snake in the sock drawer! You don't play as the original Spider-Man in this game; you play as Miles Morales! Did you accidentally cover up the title with spit when all the racial diversity sent you into fits of conservative rage?" Look at it this way, obviously-baiting viewer: Spider-Man is about a nerdy teenager who likes science and is a good boy who gets spider powers and a dead father figure, and has to balance vigilante heroics with their troublesome personal life; absolutely bugger-all has changed. I know Miles Morales is an established character in the comics, because comic nerds will only tolerate permanent change when it isn't a fucking change at all.

The second issue of MAD goes on sale on December 9, 1952. On December 11, the first-ever letter complaining that Mad 'just isn't as funny and original like it used to be' arrives.
Desmond Devlin, in a fictionalized history of Mad magazine

Your favourite character has been "promoted" and (they hope) forgotten; your second favourite character's role has been considerably reduced and his characterization changed; the people who look like you have either been made into a caricature or removed from the bridge altogether, and stuck in unattractive costumes as well (I know that's the division color. I'm sorry, but mustard is simply not a good color on black people). The weight of the show has been placed on an occasionally cute but minor character; the writers aren't doing anything with the two remaining characters, who get less interesting as time goes on - and there's a baby on the bridge where an adult should be. Given all that, might you not maybe possibly be just a little, tiny bit upset?
Textual Poachers Television Fans And Participatory Culture, by Henry Jenkins gives us a more sympathetic view of this sentiment, quoting a Star Trek: The Next Generation fan called Junius.

You can't just change... You can't just change it, okay? Change is not good! Doesn't matter what Taylor Swift sings about! It's a bad thing!
NuttyMadam on the changes made to Breaking Dawn's ending.

"If there isn't one already, I'm claiming "Jeb's Law": Regardless of what change you do, no matter how small, someone will complain."

"[...I]t's almost certain that [Metallica] recognized that some, and probably even a lot of fans and critics would hate [Lulu], but I'm not sure they cared. And honestly, I'm not sure I blame anybody in Metallica for not caring. I mean, their entire career after 1983 (maybe earlier?) has been defined by fans complaining about every change they made away from what they were "supposed" to do. They complained when "Fade to Black" had elements of dark balladry. They complained when Master of Puppets became a surprisingly popular album. They complained when "One" had a music video. They complained when the band got bored and made a smash hit with Metallica. They complained when the band got its hair cut. They complained when the band decided to make its fondness of country explicit through "Mama Said" and the "Tuesday's Gone" cover. They complained when the band played with an orchestra. They complained when the band had the audacity to air its problems in film. And so on. Point is, if everything past, sheesh, the first 3-5% of your career involved large amounts of people complaining at you every time you defied their expectations and demands, wouldn't you eventually drown them out and not treat anything they said or thought as worth acknowledging?"

    Web Video 
Lord Of Games: Gamers today don't want all this, they just want to shoot things! But as we're broadening the demographic, I'll have to think of something original. Hmm...
Jon: (Creepy Monotone) "Something original", huh?.... "Broadening the demographic?" ...Okay.... I'll bite. Just what did you guys have in mind?
(beat) CARS?....CAAAAAAAAAAARS?!?!!!
Jon: I can sit here and be shoveled shit all day! But no one can tell me that anyone, anywhere, thought this was an okay thing to do! Why? Why would you take a fucking Banjo-Kazooie game, one that we've been waiting for FOR YEARS, and make it ABOUT FUCKING! LEGO! CARS?!

Amir: Facebook just jumped the shark! Okay, they had a perfect game going and they overdid it! Okay, trust me, I follow a lot of design Tumblrs, so I know when I see things that are overdone, and they overdid it.
Jake: What's wrong with it?
Amir: It's different. Which means it's bad. Which means I'm pissed.

The fans go nuts if you even blink wrong! Come back to stop their bitching!
Chewbacca to Luke Skywalker, The Nostalgia Critic's review of The Last Jedi

In fact, now that I think about it, this movie checked every box in Break-the-Internet Bingo before there was even an Internet. Let's see here... Change the origin... (check) A controversial lead... (check) Kill the hero's main villain... (check) Completely change the costume... (check) Oh man, I'm on a hot streak! Cast a black guy to play a white guy... (check!) Hey! I got Angry Internet Nerd Bingo! Do I win anything?
Epic Voice Guy, Honest Trailers: Batman (1989)

Ultimately, canon for me, is like the foundation on which you build your understanding and investment in a fictional world. The more solid and stable it is, the more you can feel comfortable to lose yourself in a bit of much-needed escapism. But every time some asshole changes some aspect of the canon, it undermines that foundation just a little bit more, and so eventually, the whole thing collapses and you end up saying: "Fuck it, I just don't care about this anymore." That, my friend, is how hobbies die.
The Critical Drinker, Why Canon Matters

    Western Animation 
The more things change, the more they suck.

    Real Life 
"The Memory Cheats."
John Nathan-Turner (Doctor Who producer 1980-89), Points of View

"After losing your girlfriend to a tragic accident, you decide to start dating her cousin. This cousin reminds you of your ex-girlfriend but, very quickly, you realize that she is not enough like your deceased ex for your liking, so you start pestering her to dress more like her dead cousin, talk more like her dead cousin, and generally behave a lot more like her dead cousin. When she resists, you get angry and begin harassing her incessantly, stalking her online and wishing her dead as well."
Joseph Mallozzi, executive producer of the Stargateverse

"Don't fuck with the formula."
Mike Love of The Beach Boys, on Pet Sounds

I have little respect for any of the people who produced this show, since this was originally an idea from Andrew Dickman. These guys took the rights from the poor guy, and made it look very much different than what he expected. Poor guy.
A-Log on Action Dad


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