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Quotes / The Rock Critic

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Mask off.
The album I'm about to discuss is... bad on an entirely different level. I apologize if it sounds like I'm coming off a bit overly dramatic for this, but I need you people to fully comprehend me when I say that: this record that I'm about to talk about... is the worst thing I've ever listened to for this channel. I'm not exaggerating, I'm not doing this as a skit or a bit or anything; I'm trying to come at you people as real as I can come. Because this album deserves the harshest truth I can deliver.
I didn't review this album on the channel proper this year, but I'm doing it now, if only because I have to purge my conscience of this awful, heartless thing. This album is receiving my first, and to date only... ZERO. I don't give a rating like that lightly. A record basically has to be so bankrupt of creative passion, so negligent in its message, and so hate-fuckingly devoid of empathy that it's practically...the antithesis of music. Like, that's what it takes to get a zero out of me, but people... please... make no mistake when I say that the record in question wholeheartedly deserves it. Because...
God... dammit...
Doug... you fucked up big time.
It's one thing to make a bad album. It's another thing to make a bad comedy album, but this? This isn't just an album that completely misses the point of what Pink Floyd's original record was supposed to be; it's an album that knows it's missing the point and is celebrating its own joyous ignorance. For as horrid as AJR is about wallowing in their own gleeful stupidity, you put out a record that topped even THAT shameful display.
And The Wall genuinely does have its issues, believe me. It's not a perfect record by any means, and there is a right way to critique its flaws, and I know you know how to critique those flaws. But that's not what you did, Doug... is it?
Instead, you hired someonenote  to steal the music of Pink Floyd—badly, I might addnote —and used it as a platform to spew hate. Not just your own shallow hatred of this album for being up its own ass—which, yeah, Doug, you really are living in glass houses when it comes to that little anecdote—but your own personal hatred as well. Most of this record is devoted only to your own petty squabbles: your squabbles with the record itself for not being specifically about you and not relating directly to you, and how that's somehow supposed to be the album's fault. Your squabble with the Internet and how it dared to suggest you might not be a great person...after getting caught doing some really... shady shit over the last few years! And regardless of any of that: seriously, Doug, you spend half your album bitching about this! WHAT THE FUCK DID ANY OF THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE WA
You didn't criticize this album. All you did was show us your hatred. The Wall does have problems, but none of those problems were more important than your problems, were they, Doug? You wrote a pathetic, miserable little screed on why the world is so very mean to you and you alone... and dared to call that criticism. What you did to this record isn't criticism and you know that! I know damn well that you know what you were doing with this video! You're not dumb, Walker. I don't think you hate this album out of ignorance. Based on what I heard on this record and saw in that miserable review... I just can't help but think you hate this album so much because it hits so close to home, doesn't it?
You've been building your own wall for years now. With every friend or colleague you alienate, with every dwindling view count, with every negative thing said about you in public, in private—all of that feedback; you're taking it... and you're building your own little wall with it. A strong, tall and beautiful wall that will protect you from all those bad people who are against you. All of that slander, all of that criticism that's fired back at you—they're all just bricks in your wall. Everyone who downvoted that abysmal video, all those critics who rightly laughed at your naked affrontery... even me, and every word falling out of my mouth right now—all in all, all of it, are just bricks in your wall. And I think you hate this film because it serves as a grim reflection of the things you're doing to yourself every day, but refuse to accept.
Well, Walker, I can tell you something... even though I know you're not gonna listen. You are walking down a very dark path. This wall you're building: it will swallow you whole. You'll have to keep putting more and more people behind it as you refuse to bend, to compromise, to listen. As you build your wall higher and higher, it will swallow you further and further until, one by one, everyone in your life—the Internet, YouTube, your sponsors, your business partners, your remaining friends, even your family—eventually, everyone becomes a brick in that wall. And if you keep building at this rate, you will find yourself all alone, with no one left in your life to save you from your own foolishness... except you... and that wall. And when you build walls so thick and so strong with so many layers of hatred and resentment... not even the worms will be able to tear that down.
My God, Walker, this... thing that you've become—I would've called you an inspiration back in the day. Maybe even someone worth looking up to, dare I say it in my ignorance. But after seeing this slow, humiliating degeneration over the last few years... no. You aren't any of those things anymore. What you are, for me and for everyone else out there, is a lesson. A lesson in what you can become when you let your ego overtake you. When you take your personal vision of what the world is so hard and inflexibly, to interpret art, criticism and even the people who take part in them as villains in your story attempting to cut you down...
When I started doing this seven years ago, I would've loved to have been associated with you. Now I'm thankful every day that I never was. And God willing, I never will be. I don't wanna become what you've become, Doug. I don't wanna wake up five, ten, twenty years from now and see a trail of ruin in my wake. I don't wanna wake up one morning and realize I've become the very thing I used to rally against. I do not want to be stuck in your shadow... or anyone else's. Not anymore, I don't.
So it's time for a change.
Crash's epic "The Reason You Suck" Speech towards Doug Walker and his version of The Wall

I was happy to let it rest at number two and let Danzig be number one... until October rolled around. Until these guys spit in the face of every single one of us and quite literally... went mask off.
And, yes: I read Zoltan's pissy little piddly mealy-mouthed justification for all this bullshit. "OH, IT'S JUST SATIRE, BRO! SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET IT!" And all that other dog-whistle horseshit about "I'M JUST STOPPING THE TRUE TOTALITARIANISM! MUH FREE SPEECH, BROSEPH!"
Nobody buys that. Nobody buys that. No one. Not for a second does anyone buy that. Not even the fans who support you in all of this bullcrap, believes what you said there. No one does. And the hundreds upon hundreds of rally cries in the comments section of that video loudly and proudly declaring the actual message you meant to send with it tells me everything I need to know about your "ACTUAL" intentions. And justifying it by saying "UH, WE ACTUALLY SELL MASKS ON OUR WEBSITE, SO ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY-"
All that tells me is that you fucks are too goddamned cowardly to even support the terrible things you tell other people to go and do! "Do as I say, not as I do!" (Crash begins a round of Sarcastic Clapping) Oh... wow. Oh wow. Just... just... best patriots! Best patriots! America/10, would liberty again! Mmm!
And you know what? We can sit on our moral high horses when we read comments like these and just say shit like, "Well, they're Five Finger Death Punch fans. What would you expect?" And we can point at all this reprehensible crap and laugh and cringe and just... whatever, but man, when I read shit like this, y'all... I don't find this funny. I sincerely don't. I've read pages upon pages of these comments, and the only thought that really dominated my mind was: "Man... I wonder how many of them are dead."
By the time you see this video, America will have lost nearly 350,000 people to this goddamn virus. That's well over three times the largest stadium in the country. That's over half the population of some states. We are currently averaging close to a thousand deaths per day, and that number just keeps going up! And it's not like we couldn't have brought these numbers down. Other countries were able to wrangle things under some kind of control. All America had to do was follow their lead: mask up, keep distance, practice an ounce of empathy for your fellow man. But people like the guys in Five Finger Death Punch told them to take their mask off because of some... deluded wannabe oppression fantasy, and whether Zoltan meant this video to be an anti-masker anthem or not is pretty much irrelevant at this point, because it sure as hell became one despite his "good intentions."
While it's next to impossible to prove that someone deliberately went out to spread the virus as a direct result of this video... with Five Finger Death Punch being one of the biggest rock bands in America right now, and with our death tally being what it is... People, it is just... impossible to ignore. It is very, very likely that someone—likely many—were exposed to this horrible virus because this fucking thing, either directly or not, told them that protecting others was the true evil. The chance that this idiotic music video may have taken actual lives... That is sincerely one of the most disgusting things I've ever had to deal with on this channel, full stop. Say whatever the hell you want to about some of the garbage I've reviewed on this channel in the past, and believe me, I've tackled some real garbage: at least no one died as a result of any of that stuff.
I mean, in my book at least, one of the worst things a band can show is contempt for their audience. It's those acts that truly just... despise their fellow man, and despise their own fanbases that almost always seem to nab that top spot on my worst list. And not only did Five Finger Death Punch prove that they straight up hate their fans, they proved that they don't even care if they get killed supporting them. If supporting them gets others killed. They will gladly throw your life and other lives into the thresher... so long as it gets 'em paid. And God help us, in America, that attitude pays way too goddamn well. Real American capitalists, these guys, eh?
I am trying my best not to be preachy here, because I don't wanna be preachy, alright? I don't wanna tell people how they have to live their lives or anything like that—I don't know. If you wanna throw away your own life because of some idiotic grudge against common sense, be my fuckin' guest. I'm not your dad. But people... if COVID taught us anything this year, it's that this is not. Just. About. You. How many of you have lost someone to this goddamn disease? How many of you caught the virus and have had irreparable damage done to your bodies as a result of it? This fucking plague has taken so much from us, from all of us, and the real tragedy here is that none of it had to be this bad. But because so many greedy, heartless people, not unlike the guys in Five Finger Death Punch, value their own bottom line over the lives of others, hundreds of thousands are dead. That's why it makes me sad to read comments like these, because the ones who took Five Finger Death Punch up on their rally cries, the people who were the true believers, the real people who wanted to carry their flag and bring about this cause for them... they're the ones that most likely suffered the most. They're the ones who might have died because of their words and actions, and they don't even care. And you know what? Feel about that however you want to feel, that's your right, but you better believe I am not giving people like this a voice on my platform anymore.
Even when you give people like this negative attention, you still give them power in one form or another. And these guys have shown us exactly what they will do when you give them that kind of power, so... no. Not anymore. I will not give them an inch. I refuse. They are in the Bin, and after this video, I am never discussing these wretched fucks on my channel ever again.
Crash's diatribe against F8 by Five Finger Death Punch in his Worst of 2020 video

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