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Quotes / The Remake

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If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic!
— Jay Sherman, The Critic

Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation!
Announcer, South Park, "Free Hat"

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The most dramatic difference between Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho and Gus Van Sant's "shot-for-shot" remake is the addition of a masturbation scene. That's appropriate, since this new Psycho evokes memories in an attempt to re-create remembered passion.
Roger Ebert on Psycho (1998)

Big the TV show is happening, because Hollywood’s favorite thing to do is put on knife shoes and dance all over your childhood

Maybe calling it "disdain" is a little too harsh because that would imply a distinct emotion or feel for the material; instead, there's only a sense of bewilderment, as if everyone involved quickly signed off on the idea of remaking Robocop before they realized oh, shit—how do we actually do that? Gulp.

I would like to see a remake of Beaches with Bette Midler. Only this time, Barbara Hershey should be played by Anne Hathaway. But Anne Hathaway will have much more cancer. And it'll be CGI cancer. And then when they're on the beach and the sun is setting, and she's about to die, she explodes. And Bette Milder won't do the theme song, no. No 'Wing Beneath My Wings' crap for this movie. The theme song will be done by Kesha... and it'll be called "Sorry U Can't Go Out To Da Club Because U Got Cancer.
Mike Stoklasa, Half in the Bag


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