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Quotes / The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

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And I've never hoist the mainstay,
and I never swabbed the poop deck,
and I never veered to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all!
And I've never walked a gangplank,
and I've never owned a parrot,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall!
Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,
we just stay at home and lie around!
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"

You say you're nasty pirates
Scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?
From what I've seen I tell you
You're not pirates! You're just slackers!

On Mondays, I never go to work
On Tuesdays, I stay at home
On Wednesdays, I never feel inclined
Work is the last thing on my mind
On Thursdays, it's a holiday!
And Fridays I detest
Oh, it's much too late on a Saturday
And Sunday is the day of rest
They Might Be Giants, "Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go to Work)"

"We're whalers on the moon,
We carry a harpoon,
But there ain't no whales,
So we tell tall tales
And sing our whaling tune!"
The Space Whalers, Futurama ("The Series Has Landed")

"He's got a nerdy shirt
And a pocket pouch
(Although I've never seen him write anything down…)"
Kyle Justin, "The Angry Video Game Nerd Theme (Full Version)"

Exploring the seas, and home renovation
Feather collecting and art ecollection
We're the assassins and we're here to stay!
(We might have to phase out the stabbing, OK?)

Shirahoshi: But if you're a pirate, Luffy… then aren't you a bad person?
Luffy: …hm? …mmmm… I dunno, that's up to you to decide.

"Whatever happened to 'we rape, we pillage'?"
Jason, The Ice Pirates

Are we still in the Army?
CPL Derrick Hill, Enlisted

[The Ambassador] is particularly charming, and it seems churlish to ask him whether he's the ambassador of anywhere in particular
Sidebar Snippet, Fallen London

So they inwardly resolved that so long as they remained in the business, their piracies should not again be sullied with the crime of stealing.

"Pirates who aren't evil end up at theme parks. It be a terrifying fate!''
Captain Plankbeard, Chibi-Robo!

Oh, hi, Mr. Thief-Who-Doesn't-Take-Anything.
Linda, MOTHER 3


Clark wanders in the front door, only to reveal that, oh no, he has lost his powers! Now who will stand around moping while others save the world?!
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Collateral")

Jon: I think Conan's feelin' real baaaad today! "Attack"!
Conan decides not to attack the merchant
Jon: Conan also decided to file his taxes quarterly to avoid overages and remain cash-solvent. What is this, "Conan decided not to attack the merchant"?! Get outta here, I'm CO-NAN! I'm a BARBARIAN! It's in the TITLE! IT'S INNA TITLE!!
JonTron plays Conan the Barbarian for DOS

Thanksgiving gave the X-Men the chance to finally get back to what they do best: hang out around the mansion, play sports and have sweet character moments.
Matt on Uncanny X-Men #308


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