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Quotes / The Main Characters Do Everything

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You know what this school is like — if we don't do it, it doesn't get done!
Annie, as the study group investigates a serial prankster, Community

The man drives a 700,000 ton starship, so somebody thinks he'd make a good medic.
The Doctor re Tom Paris, Star Trek: Voyager

Kenneth Parcell: Sir, I have a problem with my time card.
Jack Donaghy: So, naturally, you came to me, because this company is just the two of us.
—An NBC page and a GE vice president, 30 Rock

Schaffer: Our ideal inquisitor teams are currently assigned elsewhere and won't be available for several hours, so unfortunately it falls to you.
Lothar: That seems to happen a lot. Do you even have other teams?


I can't believe it took me eight months to realize this, but the mom there can't be giving the engines all she's got! She's on the BRIDGE. She needs to be in ENGINEERING!
YouTube Commenter Darthkoolguy on a Burger King Star Trek tie-in commercial

THAT'S your job too?? At this point I'm starting to wonder if "Tom" is the only name on the roster that Janeway can remember, so any time a job needs doing she just tells him to.

The Astrometrics laboratory is packed full of people watching the race (with only Tuvok trying to do his job!) so it makes me wonder who is flying the ship. I never thought I would say this but it would be hilarious if one of those Borg wormholes would open up and spit out a Cube to blast Voyager to pieces when the entire crew have their pants down!
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "Drive"

Bayside's entire athletic division would be in disarray if anything happened to the main cast. Lisa and Jessie are track and swim stars, Kelly's head cheerleader and linchpin of the swim team, Slater's captain of the wrestling and football teams, while Zack's both the track captain, and as revealed in "The Surgery", captain of the basketball team. Even the nerd pursuits are locked down by chess-prodigy Screech. If there's ever a skinny dipping incident beyond the undertow at Malibu Sands, resulting in Leon having to fish six naked, bloated corpses out of the pacific with a golf club, Belding may as well just burn down the gym and take himself with it.
Stuart Millard on Saved by the Bell, So Excited, So Scared

He's at Chernobyl and he's studying earthworms, and they're getting twice as big or something like that. So, the military lands a helicopter and says, "You're an earthworm expert? Godzilla attacked a fisherman's boat. And we think that...somehow... you can help! Because you're studying earthworms! So get involved with this plot!"
Mike Stoklasa on Godzilla (1998), Half in the Bag

Matt: Dredd reveals that Hershey will defend him at the tribunal, even though she’s a street judge. Judges are attorneys, too! If there had been sequels, we would have found out they’re notary publics, can perform weddings and will spay your pets.
Chris: If there has ever been a 2000 AD prog about Judges running around performing weddings, I want to know so that I can buy it immediately. I want Dredd to just kick in the door on two rival gang members, declare them to be married, and leave.
Matt: “Prepare to be…WED!
Chris: Judge Wedd.
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Judge Dredd (1995)


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