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Quotes / The Good Place

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WARNING: Only spoilers from Season Three and beyond will be marked. Proceed with caution.


Now, in terms of how we handle this moving forward, obviously, Earth is cancelled.
Judge Gen, in Chapter 47 "The Funeral To End All Funerals", giving her ruling on the Soul Squad's experiment, and the discrepancies within the points system.

You know, Jason, every detail of your life is deeply disturbing, and yet, I envy you. I was never allowed to goof off.
Tahani Al-Jamil, in Chapter 21 "Derek", upon finding out that Jason's school was four tugboats in a junkyard, and that his classes mostly consisted of selling dirty magazines door-to-door.

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God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?
Chidi in Chapter 31, quoting Friedrich Nietzsche

Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become gods simply to be worthy of it? There has never been a greater deed; and whosoever shall be born after us—for the sake of this deed he shall be part of a higher history than all history hitherto.
—the rest of the above Nietzsche quote

Now we’re going to do the most human thing of all: attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!
Michael in Chapter 23

Eleanor: Are we sure we should be listening to these guys? It's like, who died and left Aristotle in charge of ethics?
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Chidi: ...Plato!
—Chapter 3

It took me awhile to figure it out. But just now, as we were all fighting, and yelling at each other, and each one of us demanding we should go to the Bad Place, I thought to myself, "Man, this is torture." And then it hit me. They're never gonna call a train to take us to the Bad Place. They can't. Because we're already here. This is the Bad Place.

Jason: I know this sounds crazy... but I think we're in the Bad Place?
Michael: Jason figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts.
— Michael approaching rock-bottom, "Dance Dance Resolution"

''“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters is, if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. You asked me where my hope comes from? That’s my answer.”
Michael, "A Chip Driver Mystery"

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“The point is, people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?”
Michael, "The Funeral to End All Funerals"

“This is what we’ve been looking for since the day we met. Time. That’s what the Good Place really is — it’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.”
Chidi Anagonye, "Patty"

"Picture a wave in the ocean. You can see it, measure it, the height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through. It's there, you can see it, it's wave. And then it crashes on the shore and it's gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be for a little while."
Chidi Anagonye, "Whenever You're Ready"

“I assume he's doing the same as every human. Some good days. Some bad days. He’s got a few friends, a few people he can’t stand. He’s learning some things, all by himself, and hopefully learning to ask for help when he needs it. He’s messing up, and trying again, and messing up again, and then getting things wrong, and then trying to make them right. That’s what everyone does.”
Eleanor Shellstrop whilst showing a montage of Michael's life on Earth as a human, "Whenever You're Ready"

Take it sleazy.
'Michael, uttering the last line of the series, "Whenever You're Ready"
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