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Quotes / That Came Out Wrong

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Ducky: Muscle soreness?
Tony: Only when I move or breathe.
Ducky: Yes, clearly you haven't quite recovered from your bout with Y. pestis. You need a rest.
Tony: No, I need to get back to work, Ducky.
Kate: Damn it, Tony. I should just take you home and get you in bed. [Ducky and Tony look at Kate] Okay, that didn't come out the way I intended.

"I'll... get wood... at the tree! Tree wood!"
Sagi, Baten Kaitos Origins

Frylock: Just help me roll this into the garage.
Master Shake: Why don't you help me suck it?
Master Shake: ...Wait a minute, that backfired.

Steven: Hey! Look, you have Rose Quartz, why bother with him? He's worthless!
Lars: Thanks a lot, Steven.
Steven: No, I meant like worth less, not worthless like relative to me?
Steven Universe, "Stuck Together"

Lelouch: That pussy's got my head's protection! Wow. That did not come out right. [falls into a bush] Well this figures. I'm supposed to be chasing pussy but instead I'm stuck in the bush. [Beat] What is wrong with me today! [finds Suzaku] Suzaku, what are you doing here?
Suzaku: I'm here to kick ass. [hears meow] Now let's go take care of your pussy problem!
Lelouch: Well, at least, it's not just me.
Code MENT note 

"Let's do it! The levels, I mean, not sex."

Ross: (comes in red-faced, sweating, and out of breath) Hey.
Phoebe: Hey. Why are you all red and sweaty?
Ross: I just bamboozled Chandler!
Ross: ...which is not a sexual thing.

"Mary...I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy!"
Lloyd Christmas, Dumb and Dumber

"Even look in her general direction again and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots, too...that came out wrong. Or did it?"
Wade Wilson, Deadpool (2016)

"Yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas: Full of country goodness and green pea-ness...Wait, that's terrible. I quit."

"If you need something under the table... I'm your guy. (Beat) That didn't come out right."

Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!
Eleventh Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt! [Beat] And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

"Yeah, but I can't let Tani-baka know about this note  — ever. The second he heard about it, his head would explode! (blinks, thinking about what she just said as her face reddens) And I'm going to shut up now."
Yanagimoto, Kyon: Big Damn Hero

Female!Commander Shepard: [discussing 'sparring'] So when should I book the room?
Garrus Vakarian: I'd wait if you're OK with it. Disrupt the crew a little as possible. Take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm. You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.
[Shepard gives Garrus a knowing smirk]
Garrus Vakarian: Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

Sherman Klump: Pardon me ladies and gentlemen, but I cannot go on living unless I have this man inside me right now!
Dean Richmond: Steady, sailor.

Garrus: Turians like it hot.
Shepard: I ride my soldiers hard and put them away wet, I can at least make sure they don't go to bed hungry.

Jay Cutler: That's a poor choice of words for you, Rodgers.

"It's grinding time, Nepgear. Hope your butt's clenched. Aaand I just realized that can mean something entirely different."

Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so it seems I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence....

Chuggaaconroy: Whoa! 2 or 3-up, my ass!
ProtonJon: You might want to rephrase that one.

"Put my nut in your mouth and bite hard! I don't give a shit how that sounds, I'm in a Care Bears movie!"
Nostalgia Critic regarding the climax of Care Bears Nutcracker

Rich Lambert: "What we ended up settling on is that the older, wiser, more powerful a Telvanni wizard is, the more overgrown, the larger their mushroom tower is."
Jessica Folsom: "So literally size is a measure of power."
Rich: "Oh, I'm glad you said that."
— An episode of ESO Live

"I don't want that on my conscience that I exposed a young child to dick. (starts laughing) That came out so fucking wrong!"
Etika, from his reaction to Death Note (2017) reguarding how everyone who hasn't watched the Death Note anime should leave, as he doesn't want their first experience with it to be this movie, which was previously described as being dick.

"No, you have to listen to me! I know they're the guys who've given you everything you've ever wanted and I'm just the guy who destroyed your lifelong dream, but you have to listen to me! (beat) Boy, that came out wrong."
Timmy Turner, The Fairly OddParents, "School's Out! The Musical"

"Alright, it starts off with me on a TV screen, and it looks like... my little loli girl is turning me on. Alright... (Beat) We're not gonna comment about what I just said there."
Noble describing a video clip of a young-looking anime girl turning on a TV that had been edited to have Noble appear on the TV

Oona: Almost got special dinner for you! Saw it while exercising Lancer, but it fell in drink. Two humans, since you said you had one back in city and liked it best of all.
The Monster in the Darknes: That is... not what I meant at all.

"Dude, we can see it bending and wobbling all over! Put that thing away! (beat) Wow...I could have worded that better."
The Smeghead, Cinematic Excrement Episode 95, Part 2: Ready to Rumble, on Vampiro attacking Sting with a rubber hose that was meant to look like a lead pipe

So how did Tony know Peter Parker was Spider-Man? Did he just break into every teenage boy's bedroom in New York until he got lucky? Oh, wait, hang on, that sounded really bad.

Britta: [to Pierce's father] I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at animal cruelty!
Shirley: You can excuse racism?!
Britta: [awkwardly glances downward]
Community, "Advanced Gay"

Felicity: It feels really good having you inside me. [Beat]. And by you, I mean your voice. And by inside me, I mean my ear....I'm going to stop talking right now.
Oliver: That would be my preference.
Arrow, "The Undertaking"

OK, you suck. You are sucking all the fun out of this! I'm the only one who sucks here, boy—that came out wrong.
Future Imperfect Cell, Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Zarbon: I thought I could take (Vegeta), but he really tore up my insides and...I—no, I mean, he—he blew out my backside...DAMN IT!
Dodoria: It's fine, you're catchin' it now.
Zarbon: But I'm so used to pitching! (sobs)
Burter: For me, he just slammed me deep in the throat! ...what? I'm doing these on purpose! I'm gay as sunshine!
Jeice: Suave! (high-fives Burter)
HFIL episode 2, "Sharing Circles of Hell"

Schezo: Finally, you and I are going to score together!
Arle: You mean we're going to rack up scores battling? Schezo, you really gotta work on your wording sometimes.

Scrooge McDuck: You were prepared for our best, but not our dumbest.
Flintheart Glomgold: And I am the dumbest there's ever been! (Evil Laugh) ...wait.
DuckTales (2017), "Moonvasion!"

Onlooker 1: Do you have a child in that bag?
Tom: No. (Beat) I mean, yes, it's a child, but it's not mine.
Onlooker 2:'s not your child?

Institute for Social Ecology (June 22): The left must be feminized—by force if necessary.
Institute for Social Ecology (June 24): We have been made aware that this means something else outside of the context of feminist politics.

Screenwriter: Janet is going to make Ghost feel better by using her (Janet's) fingers.
Producer: (excited) Ohhh!
Screenwriter: Not like that.
Producer (disappointed) Oh.

Amelia: Maybe we should give Jumpmaster to the randoms. So that nobody will know.
Gura: That sounds good.
Amelia: Actually, but then— they won't know how to— how to... do a bait like me.
Gura: Master bait, here we go!
Gura and Amelia: [audible realization] Uhhhh...
Gura: I could have worded that... a bit better! [starts to giggle]
Amelia: [laughs ouright] Nice one, Gura, nice.
Gura: You know what I meant! You know what I meant... Master... bait-- No, that's not-- Ma-- bait-- I'm gonna shut my mouth now.

Amelia: I don't know how to- how to- This is gonna sound weird.
Calliope: Yeah?
Amelia: I don't know how to- I don't know if I should say it.
Calliope: Oh?
Amelia: [snickering] I don't know how to impregnate your fortress.
Both: [laugh]
Calliope: "Storm my castle"?
Amelia: Yeah, that's a good way to put it, I guess.
Calliope: It's okay, people will still take it out of context no matter what you do, unfortunately.

"Oh, hi! I was just looking for a staff I misplaced. It grows really big when you hold it, and... I suddenly just realized how inappropriate that sounds."
Catara, Crush Crush

Clark Kent: She has a clause in her contract, no magical powers, it's all magician's craft. And she's good. Barry, when he was alive, he told me even he couldn't see how she did some of the tricks. And this wasn't even on stage, this was in the Satellite on the JLA table. Close up.
Lois Lane: Why does that sound dirtier than you intended it to?
Clark Kent: (annoyed) Rao... I have no idea, Lois, why does it?

Joel: We’ll round up some Jews for you, Rabbi.
Moishe: Don’t say, “Round up Jews.”
Joel: I know. It sounded wrong.

"Hatterene craves a banana, so it's a good thing that Mr. Beast is ready and willing to give Hatterene his bana-"
(Sophist pauses, then deletes and rewrites a chunk of the script.)
"Mr. Beast heals Hatterene."


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