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Quotes / Teens Are Monsters

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Now it is 1984
Knock-knock at your front door
It's the suede/denim secret police
They have come for your uncool niece
—"California Uber Alles", Dead Kennedys

I am NOT overreacting! I'M A TEEN-AGER!
Katie Kaboom, Animaniacs

Teenagers should be locked away until they’re 30.
Katie Kaboom's mother, Animaniacs

Because, my little artichoke, I'm sixteen and you're ten. DO THE MATH!!!!

Sarah Millican: Kids don't like boardgames. Kids like knives, and... bigger knives.
Charlie Brooker: I fear you're generalising there.
You Have Been Watching, episode 2.6

Just try to imagine...Just imagine...How little I care and junk.
Trina Riffin, Grojband

Krazy Individuals Destroying Society

Full of youthful energy, and at the moment he is using it in the service of crazy.

My biggest problem with "Lord of the Flies" is that none of the child characters are especially likable. I didn't care what happened to any of them. The X-Files has possibly the worst hit rate at producing recognisable teenage characters... And as for Winky? This guy tries to sell the footage of his best friend to all the networks to make a profit out of his death! His remorse extends to how much money he can make out of his best friend's demise.
Joe Ford on The X-Files, "Lord of the Flies"

Teenagers really have it the worst and rich, famous teenagers have it worser than worse, because they’re used to hearing 'yes' most of the time, but every now and again some evil torturer has to tell them 'no' and being told 'no' when you’re a famous teenager is worse than getting shot at during war.

Studies have found that the average age of a terrorist is in the high teens to early twenties. In other words, professional terrorism is a little bit like a rave: If you're over 25, you're either the guy in charge of the club or one of those weird dudes who doesn't realize he's too old to be there.

It is worth pausing to not that, despite the way that characters like Spock were embraced by the counter-culture movement in the sixties and seventies, Star Trek really doesn’t have the best history when it comes to portraying youth culture, tending to associate it as strange and alien – and associating it with communism.

Yes, the internet is controlled by Satan and is forcing all teens to do crack cocaine. They take shots of vodka for breakfast and sacrifice small animals monthly. They smoke blunts with bits of crystal meth and rape and pillage villages for laughs. They stole my goat, god damnit.
Yahoo Answers answer to the question Are teens showing signs of corruption these days ?

Most of the kids you meet in this job are either possessed by entities from the outer dark, filled with some kind of godly power, or busy trying out the benefits of erotic asphyxiation. Okay, that last one might have just been Bieber when we first picked him up.

Middle school girls: The only known species that always tortures its prey before devouring it.

Thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day ... Because eighth-graders will make fun of you, but in an accurate way. They will get to the thing that you don't like about you. They don't even need to look at you for long, they'll just be like "Hahahaha, hey look at that high-waisted man, he got feminine hips!" and I'm like "NO!! That's the thing I'm sensitive about!"
John Mulaney, New In Town

Teens are dangerous! Those hormones turn into like, killing machines! My cousin Reggie got in a fight with a teen once, and the guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think killed him or something. Me and Reggie were just talking about it.
Soos, Gravity Falls, "Fight Fighters"

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