Wait, don't you want this [paper training schedule]? Adonis:
I got it right here [on this smartphone]! Rocky:
What if you lose that there or it breaks? Adonis:
It's already up in the cloud! Rocky: [looks up at the sky in confusion]
What cloud? What cloud?
: You know what, I'm going to look up this social anxiety disorder on the web. Uncle Ben:
That's a good idea, May. [to Peter
] That will keep her busy for hours. Aunt May
: Heard that.
"I'm sure all of you know how cassette tapes work. I remember my grandad didn't. He was not very up on technology, to say the least, and he saw one I'd left on his table - it was on the cover of a
Crash magazine - and he thought it was, like, something you look through except the eyes were too close together. He was not a man of modern audio recording means."
: Sir... uh... I think you got your webcam turned off. The Grand Highblood
: Oh. Dang. Hold up. Narrator
: You hear a lot of rustling and swearing. All of you hang in the awkward limbo of an old person struggling with technology.
"'Everything just takes too long!' your mother said in an interview, as she scanned through a desktop full of JPEGs to find the Internet Explorer icon. 'These games are the only explanation!' She then typed in 'google' into the Yahoo Search Bar included on the third toolbar from the top, typed Facebook into Google, and proceeded to log into Facebook using the username and password located on a sticky note next to the keyboard. [...] Your mother has since dragged the Steam shortcut into the Recycling Bin, and now believes that the computer is faster." Teaching your parents how to use technology is the most frustrating thing EVER. Even after teaching him over and over again, the amount of times I've seen my dad go to
Google and search for "Google Dot Com"
is fucking mindblowing!
— Grade A Under A, "Stupid Things That Parents Do"
Hi, Captain Cuttlefish! Can you see the chatroom okay on your cell phone? CraigCuttlefish:
I CAN SEE IT JUST FINE THANKS FOR ASKING CraigCuttlefish:
BUT ALL MY LETTERS ARE BIG FOR SOME REASON
: I'll e-mail them to you so that you can upload them. Chelsea
: What? Levi
: I'll put them in a folder so that you could drag them into the app yourself. Chelsea
: No, no— I— no. Levi
: I'll do everything for you. Chelsea
: Oh! Good, Levi. You know, honey? You... you just get
: How do I make all the letters uppercase? Thaddeus Euphemism
: You have to double-tap the shift key. Betty
: Like this? Thaddeus
: No, you just tapped it twice. Betty
: Yes, a double-tap. Isn't that what you said? Thaddeus
: No, a double tap is faster
than tapping it twice... Betty
: Wait... why is it typing a 'Z'?! Thaddeus
: You hit the 'Z' with your finger... Betty
: But I double-tapped! Why is it still small?!! Thaddeus
: You have to double-tap the shift key
: Which one is the shift key!?!"