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Quotes / Tangled Family Tree

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Talon Karrde: I don't suppose [Leia] has a sister?
Han Solo: Not that I know of. Though with the Skywalker family you never know.

''Hope has so far refused to meet Nate. She was raised and trained for years by a man named Cable. This took place in the, uhm, future, and Cable is now dead. Nate is... Okay, Cable and Nate are the same person but from different dimensions. He looks like a younger version of the man she thought of as her father. I'm aware how this must sound.
Dani Moonstar, trying to explain only a small fraction of the Summers family tree

Emma Frost: [telepathically] Attention, students! Will the fruits of the womb of Jean Grey, Madelyne Pryor, Redd Dayspring or any other alias, clone, or permutation thereof please report to the Danger Room! [Speaking] That should count for about 70% of the student body. I hope you're ready for a long day!

Harry: You're related to the Malfoys?
Sirius: The pure-blood families are all interrelated. If you're only going to let your sons and daughters marry purebloods, your choice is very limited. There are hardly any of us left. Molly and I are cousins by marriage and Arthur's something like my second cousin once removed.

DAVE: (rose whos the john looking kid)
ROSE: (I think it's young Father-Grandad Harleybert.)
DAVE: (what)

'...In what other book do you have a family tree that includes members like Magneto, greatest foe of the X-Men, who's there, because his two children, Quicksilver, and the Scarlet Witch, are Avengers, and the Witch was married to the Vision, an android built out of the inert body of Golden Age hero the original Human Torch, but with the brain-patterns of long-thought-dead hero Wonder Man, all put together by the evil robot Ultron, who himself was the inadvertent creation of Hank Pym, a.k.a Ant-Man... who himself was married to the Wasp, who became the template for the robotic Jocasta, built to become the bride of Ultron but who rebelled against the Avengers — that's ten characters with familial or pseudo-familial links right there, and I'm just scratching the surface.'
Kurt Busiek, Intro to Avengers vol.3

Eli: Wait, is Shepard technically family again?
Dara: Technically, since you and Lin are blood-brothers, and he's married to Serana, yes.
Eli: You ever get the feeling that someone in twenty years is going to try to do our genealogy and shoot themselves?
The Spirit of Redemption, Chapter 146: "Inhalation"

"As far back as I can trace, my relatives were carnival folk, who were touring a place called "Hiroshima" in the summer of 1945. After that because of their lack of hair and skin they mostly married each other. And here I am!"
Milo, The Oblongs.

(To her grandson Loras) "So, their son will be your nephew. After you're wed to Cersei, of course. And you will be the king's stepfather AND brother-in-law." (To her granddaughter Margaery) "When you marry the king, Joffrey's mother will become his sister-in-law, and your son will be Loras'... nephew? Grandson? I'm not sure. But your brother will become your father-in-law, that much is beyond dispute."
Olenna Tyrell, Game of Thrones

Aversa: "What a convoluted family tree we make! More like a tangled shrub, in fact. I'm older than you, and yet I was adopted AFTER your birth. Hmm... I suppose in a way that makes you my older brother? How delightful!"
Male!Avatar: "I'm not your brother, and you know it."
Aversa: "Silence. The matter is settled... Big Brother."

"What the hell?! I just finished my family tree! Now my dad's gonna be my grandpa, and my grandma's gonna be my stepmom or somethin'? So do I add more branches, connect some branches, burn this damn tree down?! There's no app for this, you know! I had to draw this!"
Rallo Tubbs, The Cleveland Show, "Wheel! Of! Family!"

Jeff: Look, aren't you worried about Big Brother?
Bubba J: Well, yeah, that guy's also my uncle.
Jeff:...Wait, your brother's also your unc—
Bubba J: Don't even try it. It's like arithmetic, it will F you up.

Many, many years ago, when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon, they two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law, and changed my very life,
For my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so, became my uncle, and though it me very sad,
For if he was my uncle, than that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother

Oh, I'm my own grandpaw!
I'm my own grandpaw!
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpaw!
— "I'm My Own Grandpaw"

Hulkling: Hey there! Who's the cutie?
Wiccan: (holding William) It's me, your boyfriend. Duh.
Hulkling: The LITTLE cutie.
Wiccan: He's Hank Pym's son. (Sorta.) That makes him my, um...add a genetic duplicate...carry a robot dad...minus a soul reincarnation...he's my great uncle.
Hulking: Man, your family is messed up.
This fan comic


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