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Quotes / Take That, Audience!

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Black Knight: Even as we speak, my Trolls are on YouTube downloading your videos! My Trolls are on your website posting MLP art of you and Dr. Insano. My Trolls are on Twitter redundantly telling you news about Highlander movies and asking you to livestream Deadly Premonition and propagating #spoonyhateseverything.
Noah Antwiler on Ultima: Runes of Virtue

Jeff McGarland: [You] pitched me a TV series against my will, not to mention holding up the autograph line. But my advanced TV executive instincts tell me your show is going to be a big hit.
Doofenshmirtz: Yes! I'm going to have my own show, on television! And then, all of these fans will be so in awe of me, they will do my bidding. It's actually happening! I am going to rule the Tri-State Area!
Jeff: Just a thought though, can we get the platypus a girlfriend?
Doofenshmirtz: What! Never! Oh, suddenly you know my characters better than me? Forget it! I'm no sellout. I just crassly calculated commercial appeal in a mad quest for financial gain. No, no, my artistic integrity and I are out! Peace!
Phineas and Ferb, "Nerds of a Feather''

Scroll down now and read the first five comments under this video! You should be feeling a cold metallic sensation because you're now holding a gun to your head.

So, about 10 minutes into this film—which only wrestling fans would see—we've been insulted by being portrayed at the bottom rung mentally, emotionally, financially, and socially. Thank you, WCW; that's very thorough. Take a bow!

What especially stands out in the footage of GG’s shows is his relationship with his audience. With your average rock show there’s a sense that the band is being placed on a pedestal for fawning adulation. Punk broke down the barrier between the musicians and their audience and allowed the bands to present themselves as part of the crowd, no better or worse than the people they were playing for. But GG was actively at war with his audience. He cursed them, hit them, threw objects at them, and in the case of women (and some men!) attempted to rape them. And they fought back, throwing epithets, fists and bottles at GG while he was onstage. Watching the pit at a GG Allin show was like looking at some curious rite of passage of an obscure Africa tribe where only the bravest are willing to get close enough to the stage and risk either bodily harm or the possibility of receiving a fistful of shit, piss or blood. (It's strangely ironic that after all the shows GG did with no concern for his audience’s safety, Great White is the band that ends up killing a hundred of their fans.)
Wil Forbis on GG Allin, Interesting Motherfuckers

Clocksie,” Clockblocker said, deadpan, “Has been the target of a lot of criticism, because he was in charge of the Wards at the time a lot of stuff went down. Some dingbats online speculated that I had a thing for Weaver, and it took off. The people online like to find stuff that fills in blanks, and there were a hell of a lot of blanks around the whole thing with Weaver defecting, and our pseudo-truce with the Undersiders.”
Clockblocker, Worm

(Robert) Holmes’s interest in continuity has always been virtually null. He jettisoned everything we thought we knew about Gallifrey in the Deadly Assassin, and in bringing the Time Lords back as peripheral figures in this story he basically scraps all of that for a whole new set of technology and explanations of things. Tat Wood accuses this of being the point where Holmes starts to believe his own reputation, but I think nothing could be further from the truth. This is the point where Holmes loses patience with being put on a pedestal. It’s much like the classic story of comics legend Jack Kirby being told that someone was drawing one of his characters 'Jack Kirby style' and remarking that Jack Kirby style would have been to create a new character.

Carey is present? Lieutenant Carey of seasons one and two, never to be seen since? Are they taking the piss? Leave it to Voyager to introduce a character, forget about him for five seasons and then bring him back right near the end just to kill him off! ...It feels like a very cynical move that a character should be brought back to silence critics just to kill him off.
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "Friendship One"

If the nutshell of the story involves shadowy conspirators who construct a command center that allows them to fabricate grand lies, then it's easily an extended metaphor for the game itself, with Raiden being an analog for the player's real-life role as a Metal Gear fan. He's a delusional, video game-addled rookie who was a fan of Solid Snake, and he believed the conspirators' lies up until the very end. And once the curtain's pulled, he's frustrated and confused, and doesn't really know what to think of it all. It was a deliberate bait-and-switch. Kojima knew that players weren't expecting this. He knew that Raiden would be unappealing and unpopular. He knew that people weren't gonna like it. And he used that to tell the story... The message is about fanboyism and hype. It's about the environment that surrounded the game's launch and what they expected it to do.

Yes, this is a stock market game, and is likely to be the death knell to my sanity because you, Goony McGoons, are going to be my financial advisors. I am putting my financial wellbeing in your hands. Your (surely) very capable hands.

I think I want to cry.

So let's take a look at these here messages we received. I'll answer them on Director Chii's behalf- OK, here we go: "Can you guys like, speed this shit up a little bit- I mean the series ended in April 2011...". No. We. Can't. "GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES AND UPLOAD EPISODE 3 ALREADY". No, and also - fuck you [...] Basically, what I'm trying to say is leave Director Chii alone. Sending her nasty messages about this won't make an episode come out any faster.

Lewis Brindley: Hello, and welcome back to Prop Huuuunnnt!
(general cheering)
Lewis: Me, Hat Films, Martyn, how you doing? Hello, Turps...
Martyn: Hello!
(introductions continue for a bit)
Ross: Sips is away... gone permanently...
Martyn: I've replaced him forever... Just so you know...
— The Yogscast, "Gmod Prop Hunt #3: Annoying Orange, filmed in Prop Hunt, directed at detractors who falsely claimed Martyn was a Replacement Scrappy for Sips

YOU SANCTIMONIOUS SACK OF FECES! YOU'RE TRYING TO PIN THIS ON US? Marville failed sales-wise because "we couldn't accept your grand vision of world peace"? That we only wanted "superheroes punching each other"? GO TO HELL! Your comic didn't succeed because it started as a lame, unfunny parody of the comic book industry, and then was an inaccurate and moronic tale about God and the universe! It failed because it SUCKED!
Linkara on Marville #6

The reason TNA took Samoa Joe away from Ring of Honor was to protect him from YOU PEOPLE! They know that Joe would have killed himself just to make you happy. But you would never be happy. You are never happy. And now Joe is only gone two months you have already forgotten about him. You've forgotten about Samoa Joe. You've forgotten about CM Punk. I give you one week before you forget about everything that Colt Cabana ever did for you. You're only waiting for the next young kid to come up - someone like Davey Richards, Rocky Romero or Delirious, so you can bleed them dry too.
Christopher Daniels, Good Times, Great Memories

Chicken. Fight like a robot.
The robots in Berzerk, if you leave a room without killing all of them

At least we're better than those sickos that stand around and WATCH it happen... Those pathetic people that want to see it, but are too weak to do it themselves. I bet someone like that's watching right now, aren't they...?
Flowey Addressing the Player in a "No Mercy" run, Undertale

D.S. McKenna: Kindhearted neighbors turned into savage flesh eating monsters. It will make a fantastic movie!
John Marston: Who would enjoy that?!
D.S. McKenna: What?
John Marston: What kind of a sick person would like that?!!
D.S. McKenna: My kind sir: THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR!!! My people.
Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, a video game about zombies.

Yo they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
Mindless Self Indulgence, "Stupid MF"

I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free. If you ask me, everyone in this theatre is a giant sucker. [Aside Glance] Especially you!

Alright, now that I have your ears as well as your spines, allow me to indulge myself for a moment and tell you all what every content creator has always wanted to say to their audience.
[clears throat]
Kayaba Akihito, Sword Art Online Abridged

What do you think this is, some sort of tacky ero visual novel? Do you really think relationships are as easy as just clicking the right dialogue choices on a menu...? Are you trying to tell me that, after all the time we've spent together, I don't deserve just a little bit of effort? Well, here's a message to you... not as a cool space investigator, but as a player sitting at a computer screen talking to a sad girl. Stand up, get the ingredients, actually go into your kitchen, and bake a cake! A real, actual, IRL cake! Please, do this for me! You promised me you would! Let me enjoy it through you, please!
*Hyun-ae, Hate Plus

This hatred [towards Sherlock fans] doesn't just manifest in insulting wankery like having it turn out to be a fucking boomerang, or deliberately re-writing one of the first proto-feminist icons in crime-fiction to be a sexy kung-fu dominatrix in love with the main character, but in how the show directly tells you that, if you're a fan, you should personally go and fuck yourself.

[...] Season 3 features several characters whose sole job it is to portray fan theories and theorists and make fun of them and call them stupid for bothering to try and figure out what happened based on the information given to them by the show. [...] People trying to figure out the mystery in a mystery-story are presented as a little club of weirdos being weird together. The creator of the story appears to be so fundamentally incapable of recognizing how to tell a mystery, that he's perceived people treating it like one as insane.

You have ignited a nuclear war. And no, there is no animated display of a mushroom cloud with body parts flying through the air. We do not reward failure.
Game Over screen for Balance of Power

"Do people notice anything off? Yes and no. There's a somewhat ambivalent attitude in some of the replies here, but no one actually manages to work it out. You're capable of noticing that she gets a flareon and complaining about that, but are easily pacified with a loss against an eevee. A few people did manage to notice the translators are used inconsistently, but weren't able to really follow up on it. Most other things went entirely unmentioned. People could see a few of the surface issues, but not the underlying problems.

"In the post-thirteen chapters, I simply allowed the existing problems to appear. They weren't created by the absol. The absol acts to negate whatever is suppressing the problems, but understand, this was how things should have been from the start.

"Reread the story and it's all there. The girl back in Chapter Seven who said Silver wasn't a battler? You know, the one who Lucki called a jealous *** for her comments, and you agreed? She was telling the truth. The story explicitly says in the first chapter that shiny pokemon are rarely as strong as their normal counterparts, and Silver is described, over and over again, as tiny, young, timid, and petite. She was not capable of being a good battler. Flare had abandonment issues anyone but Lucki could have seen from orbit, and his losses in battle are more from Lucki's utter lack of a strategy for him than any weakness on his part, not that it stops her from blaming him for it. Tryke? Was a little kid who'd gotten out of sight of his parents. Saurius leaves with Lucki right after his herd was shown to be at risk of poaching. It's inevitable that it would happen again, just as it's inevitable that Lucki, who only teamed up with Saurius because she wanted to get back at Magma for stealing her pokemon, wouldn't do anything when she heard the news.

"And the absol. The absol fought tooth and nail against capture, but Lucki caught her anyway.

"You thought Lucki was being kind and understanding when she refused to let Fara go, disparaged her reasons, and condescendingly decided the only real reason Fara could possibly not want to abandon her life in order to be beaten up for a stranger's glory was that Fara didn't know how nice and wonderful trainers are. You thought Lucki was being nice when she told Fara she knew more about absol than an absol and brushed off Fara's warning as she'd brushed off Fara's demand for release. Not because of kindness. Because Fara was rare and beautiful and strong and Lucki wanted her, nothing more.

"Fara told Lucki to release her three times. Lucki refused three times.

"Lucki is you.

"Because that's the other half, your reaction. You cheered her on. You assumed she was in the right. By the end, Lucki is outright abusive to Flare, and you don't notice. Raiden has a nightmare, and you brush it off as unrelated to actual events. Saurius' herd is recaptured, but you don't think anything of Lucki just continuing on her way. Silver has a breakdown, and you notice how inconvenient it is for Lucki. Keegan saves Lucki's life, but when Lucki finds out he's in Team Magma and declares him her enemy, you're rushing to the end right along with her. You agreed with what she did.

"So the good guys are whoever's helping her, and the bad guys are whoever isn't. Who needs to wonder at their reasons? She's always right and other people are always wrong. Anyone who criticizes her is doing it out of jealousy, because no one could be better or kinder or know more than her. She says she's friends with her pokemon but only notices them when they're inconvenient and doesn't have or want an equal relationship with any of them. She never has to sacrifice what she wants for what they want, and she never would. She doesn't think about anyone else but herself, because after all, she's the only one important.

"So she destroys the world to get back at a boy who saved her life and a pokemon who would have died for her.

"This is the story of a girl...who cried a river and drowned the whole world."
Farla, Lucki

"This is the tale of Teddy Teague,
Who could not wait to read his League.
With each new month, he would complain:
"Where's issue six? It's late again!""
Vexed and frustrated, he would write
Disgruntled letters filled with spite,
That called the authors work-shy fops
And threatened them with riding crops!
Grown vain on cash from Tinseltown,
This pair won't take this lying down!
And finding out where Teddy lives,
Go round and do him in with shivs!
In summary, our tale makes clear
That patience is a virtue, dear.
So gentle reader, know your place...
And don't get on our f***ing case."


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