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Quotes / Take That, Audience!

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Internet Reviewers

On Comic Books

Given Slott's less-than-stellar relationship with the fans, that does a lot to get long-time Spidey readers back into the book. [...] But in order for my analysis of Spencer's book to make sense, I better give some context regarding why the book is so out of line with Slott's vision. Dan Slott isn't an inhenerently bad writer, in fact I've loved a couple of his stories. But he's made a lot of decisions to deliberately piss off fans of the book because he has this mantra: 'It's good to show contempt for your audience, just ask Michael Bay!' He was never afraid to challenge the status quo of Spider-Man or try new things. But the irritation with Spidey fans came from his decisions usually having no lasting effect or trampling on established and consistent ideas to fit his own.

YOU SANCTIMONIOUS SACK OF FECES! YOU'RE TRYING TO PIN THIS ON US? Marville failed sales-wise because "we couldn't accept your grand vision of world peace"? That we only wanted "superheroes punching each other"? GO TO HELL! Your comic didn't succeed because it started as a lame, unfunny parody of the comic book industry, and then was an inaccurate and moronic tale about God and the universe! It failed because it SUCKED!
Linkara on Marville #6

On Film — Live-Action

So, about 10 minutes into this film—which only wrestling fans would see—we've been insulted by being portrayed at the bottom rung mentally, emotionally, financially, and socially. Thank you, WCW; that's very thorough. Take a bow!

On Live-Action TV

This hatred [towards Sherlock fans] doesn't just manifest in insulting wankery like having it turn out to be a fucking boomerang, or deliberately re-writing one of the first proto-feminist icons in crime-fiction to be a sexy kung-fu dominatrix in love with the main character, but in how the show directly tells you that, if you're a fan, you should personally go and fuck yourself. [...] Season 3 features several characters whose sole job it is to portray fan theories and theorists and make fun of them and call them stupid for bothering to try and figure out what happened based on the information given to them by the show. [...] People trying to figure out the mystery in a mystery-story are presented as a little club of weirdos being weird together. The creator of the story appears to be so fundamentally incapable of recognizing how to tell a mystery, that he's perceived people treating it like one as insane.

(Robert) Holmes’s interest in continuity has always been virtually null. He jettisoned everything we thought we knew about Gallifrey in the Deadly Assassin, and in bringing the Time Lords back as peripheral figures in this story he basically scraps all of that for a whole new set of technology and explanations of things. Tat Wood accuses this of being the point where Holmes starts to believe his own reputation, but I think nothing could be further from the truth. This is the point where Holmes loses patience with being put on a pedestal. It’s much like the classic story of comics legend Jack Kirby being told that someone was drawing one of his characters 'Jack Kirby style' and remarking that Jack Kirby style would have been to create a new character.

Carey is present? Lieutenant Carey of seasons one and two, never to be seen since? Are they taking the piss? Leave it to Voyager to introduce a character, forget about him for five seasons and then bring him back right near the end just to kill him off! ...It feels like a very cynical move that a character should be brought back to silence critics just to kill him off.
Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "Friendship One"

On Music

What especially stands out in the footage of GG’s shows is his relationship with his audience. With your average rock show there’s a sense that the band is being placed on a pedestal for fawning adulation. Punk broke down the barrier between the musicians and their audience and allowed the bands to present themselves as part of the crowd, no better or worse than the people they were playing for. But GG was actively at war with his audience. He cursed them, hit them, threw objects at them, and in the case of women (and some men!) attempted to rape them. And they fought back, throwing epithets, fists and bottles at GG while he was onstage. Watching the pit at a GG Allin show was like looking at some curious rite of passage of an obscure Africa tribe where only the bravest are willing to get close enough to the stage and risk either bodily harm or the possibility of receiving a fistful of shit, piss or blood. (It's strangely ironic that after all the shows GG did with no concern for his audience’s safety, Great White is the band that ends up killing a hundred of their fans.)
Wil Forbis on GG Allin, Interesting Motherfuckers

On Video Games

Black Knight: Even as we speak, my Trolls are on YouTube downloading your videos! My Trolls are on your website posting MLP art of you and Dr. Insano. My Trolls are on Twitter redundantly telling you news about Highlander movies and asking you to livestream Deadly Premonition and propagating #spoonyhateseverything.
Noah Antwiler on Ultima: Runes of Virtue

Scroll down now and read the first five comments under this video! You should be feeling a cold metallic sensation because you're now holding a gun to your head.

If the nutshell of the story involves shadowy conspirators who construct a command center that allows them to fabricate grand lies, then it's easily an extended metaphor for the game itself, with Raiden being an analog for the player's real-life role as a Metal Gear fan. He's a delusional, video game-addled rookie who was a fan of Solid Snake, and he believed the conspirators' lies up until the very end. And once the curtain's pulled, he's frustrated and confused, and doesn't really know what to think of it all. It was a deliberate bait-and-switch. Kojima knew that players weren't expecting this. He knew that Raiden would be unappealing and unpopular. He knew that people weren't gonna like it. And he used that to tell the story... The message is about fanboyism and hype. It's about the environment that surrounded the game's launch and what they expected it to do.


Comic Books

"This is the tale of Teddy Teague,
Who could not wait to read his League.
With each new month, he would complain:
"Where's issue six? It's late again!""
Vexed and frustrated, he would write
Disgruntled letters filled with spite,
That called the authors work-shy fops
And threatened them with riding crops!
Grown vain on cash from Tinseltown,
This pair won't take this lying down!
And finding out where Teddy lives,
Go round and do him in with shivs!
In summary, our tale makes clear
That patience is a virtue, dear.
So gentle reader, know your place...
And don't get on our f***ing case."

Film — Animated

I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free. If you ask me, everyone in this theatre is a giant sucker. [Aside Glance] Especially you!


"Clocksie," Clockblocker said, deadpan, "Has been the target of a lot of criticism, because he was in charge of the Wards at the time a lot of stuff went down. Some dingbats online speculated that I had a thing for Weaver, and it took off. The people online like to find stuff that fills in blanks, and there were a hell of a lot of blanks around the whole thing with Weaver defecting, and our pseudo-truce with the Undersiders."
Clockblocker, Worm


Yo they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb
Mindless Self Indulgence, "Stupid MF"

Ya'll don't wanna hear me, you just wanna dance
OutKast, "Hey Ya!"

Finally, he's firing in spurts,
It's the last member of the Coconut Crew!
If you know the spurts, you need to shoot yourself!

Video Games

Chicken. Fight like a robot.
The robots in Berzerk, if you leave a room without killing all of them

At least we're better than those sickos that stand around and WATCH it happen... Those pathetic people that want to see it, but are too weak to do it themselves. I bet someone like that's watching right now, aren't they...?
Flowey Addressing the Player in a "No Mercy" run, Undertale

D.S. McKenna: Kindhearted neighbors turned into savage flesh eating monsters. It will make a fantastic movie!
John Marston: Who would enjoy that?!
D.S. McKenna: What?
John Marston: What kind of a sick person would like that?!!
D.S. McKenna: My kind sir: THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR!!! My people.
Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, a video game about zombies.

Sam: (in response to the Player raising the pot) Hey! I thought we were friends.
Max: It's playing computer poker by itself, Sam. It doesn't HAVE friends!

Visual Novels

What do you think this is, some sort of tacky ero visual novel? Do you really think relationships are as easy as just clicking the right dialogue choices on a menu...? Are you trying to tell me that, after all the time we've spent together, I don't deserve just a little bit of effort? Well, here's a message to you... not as a cool space investigator, but as a player sitting at a computer screen talking to a sad girl. Stand up, get the ingredients, actually go into your kitchen, and bake a cake! A real, actual, IRL cake! Please, do this for me! You promised me you would! Let me enjoy it through you, please!
Hyun-ae, Hate Plus

Web Video

Alright, now that I have your ears as well as your spines, allow me to indulge myself for a moment and tell you all what every content creator has always wanted to say to their audience.
[clears throat]
Kayaba Akihito, Sword Art Online Abridged

Western Animation

Jeff McGarland: [You] pitched me a TV series against my will, not to mention holding up the autograph line. But my advanced TV executive instincts tell me your show is going to be a big hit.
Doofenshmirtz: Yes! I'm going to have my own show, on television! And then, all of these fans will be so in awe of me, they will do my bidding. It's actually happening! I am going to rule the Tri-State Area!
Jeff: Just a thought though, can we get the platypus a girlfriend?
Doofenshmirtz: What! Never! Oh, suddenly you know my characters better than me? Forget it! I'm no sellout. I just crassly calculated commercial appeal in a mad quest for financial gain. No, no, my artistic integrity and I are out! Peace!
Phineas and Ferb, "Nerds of a Feather''

Sonic: Knuckles, you just missed the most epic Eggman battle!
Tails: It was the perfect blend of new minions and classic favorites from years past!
Sticks: Easily the most action-packed battle we've ever had! (Aside Glance) And you missed it. That's what you get for followin' Knuckles around.


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