Isn't this great? It's just like when we were younger! Remember that time
... Mental Haru:
Painting sure is fun. Mental Haru:
You know what else is fun? Killing your best friend. Mental Haru:
That doesn't sound fun at all, Haru. Mental Haru:
Well how would you
know?! All you
do is swim
, Haru! Mental Haru:
I think Haru is right. We should branch out in our hobbies, Haru. Mental Haru:
Oh (dolphin noise
), Haru, Makoto stopped talking! He wants you to respond! Say something, stupid! Haru:
...I wasn't thinking about killing you. Makoto:
) Aww, thank you. Mental Haru: Nailed it
I don't want to have to factor that into the healing process or the brain scans. I'll leave that until they're done. But I definitely need to up her dose. Can't have Rei waking up one day and deciding she wants to start doing her own thinking. Little dolls don't need to think.
She carefully didn't think about little dolls taking a certain Commander's attention away from her. That had nothing to do with it at all. She was no petty, insecure woman scrabbling for any advantage to get ahead, no.
: (after being sucked by a girl and a transvestite
) You got it wrong! Mutou-san, you got it all wrong! It's a misunderstanding! I'm completely normal! Mutou:
I didn't see anything! Me, Aoi Mutou, naturally didn't see anything with these eyes! Sawaki: Don't just lie to me!
Did you see anything? Misato:
No, I didn't see anyone.
What did you see?! Shinji:
Nothing! [...] I didn't see you playing with your dolls!
Welcome to the Duelist Kingdom. Let me assure you that this tournament is 100% genuine, and is not in any way an elaborate ruse thrown together at the last minute so that I can get my hands on an ancient Egyptian artefact.
Who? Me? Nervous? No, I'm not nervous. What makes you think I'm nervous? I mean, it's not like I don't [know] what to give my amazing boyfriend for his birthday! No, nothing like that! You just heard her say, *explicitly*, what she was nervous about. Granted, she was trying to claim the opposite, but anyone could tell that was a lie. Misato:
You're worried? Asuka:
Worried? Ha! Why should I be? It was his own fault that he's trapped in there! Misato:
I haven't even mentioned Shinji...
We just have to show you two a few things before you can get a decent night's sleep. Sorry. Asuka:
A few things? Misato:
Just a few things at NERV. I haven't been told yet, we'll find out when we get there. Don't worry, it's nothing bad, or strange... Asuka:
I never said that it might be.
Long live our brave Carabas!
We live cosily under his beard,
And hes not a tormentor at all...
— The marionettes, The Adventures of Buratino
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Especially you, Jenny Beckman.
M.U.T.O. ASSURES ALL PERSONNEL, THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY IN OUR ORGANIZATION.
Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes? Fleming:
See? See? Lattis:
You should not have said "Earth jokes." Don't you see how that gave us away?
: One more time, mate, and I'll take you to fucking cleaners! Mrs. Bignose
: Language! And don't pick your nose! Mr. Bignose
: ... I wasn't gonna pick my nose, I'm gonna thump him!
If I were a girl... AND I AM... I'd watch my step.
) Lord Helmet! Dark Helmet:
(quickly hides dolls
) WHAT!? Colonel Sandurz:
You're needed on the bridge, sir! Dark Helmet:
KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME! Colonel Sandurz:
) Dark Helmet:
...Did you see anything!? Colonel Sandurz:
No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again! Dark Helmet:
But there's something you must do. You know this rumor about the army of invisible vampire ghosts that's headed this way? Disembowel-Meself-Honorably Dibhala:
The one about there being millions of them? And very hungry on account of not having eaten by the way? And made specially fierce by the Great Wizard? DMH Dibhala:
Um... yes? Rincewind: Well, it's not true.
[...] So make sure you tell people there's no truth to this rumor, will you? Set their minds at rest. DMH Dibhala:
Good idea. Er. These invisible vampire ghosts... Do they carry money of any sort? Rincewind:
No. Because they don't exist. DMH Dibhala:
Ah, yes. I forgot. Rincewind:
And there are not 2,300,009 of them. DMH Dibhala:
Not 2,300,009 of them... Rincewind:
Absolutely not. There are not
2,300,009 of them, no matter what anyone says. Nor has the Great Wizard made them twice as big as normal. Good man. Now I'd better be off-
Moist Von Lipwig: Igor? You have an Igor? Hubert Turvy:
Oh, yes. That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha! Moist:
Ha ha. Hubert:
Ha hah hah! Hahahahahaha
No! You couldn't have recognized me. I used a disguise that time.
I don't care if Ewald Jackson is from Adelaide, wherever that is. It doesn't impress me at all, and Bridgette's not impressed either, and she only spoke to him to be polite. Anyway, he was only congratulating her on winning first prize with her bark picture. Bark pictures aren't really art so it doesn't matter about Bridgette winning and not me because we weren't in the same category.
— Kirsty Dean, I Hate Fridays omnibus
Have you seen my hat? Rabbit:
(while wearing that very hat
) No. Why are you asking me. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen any hats anywhere. I would not steal a hat. Don't ask me any more questions.
A silly rumor, really. It has to do with viral contamination of lubricants at Bearing Works Twenty-three. Ah, excuse me — I mean with the non
contamination of lubricants at... Never mind. It is totally without foundation, the Health Center informs us. And there is no cause for alarm. It is absolutely not true that it causes impotency among males— Correction. There is no contamination — but if there were, it would not affect the potency of males.
Am retired vindow cleaner and pacifist - without doing war crimes!
We didn't receive any messages, and Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot this delicious plump-breasted pigeon!
Look at us. Just three people with pants on having a normal conversation. Capt. Holt:
Yep, no story here.
MAYHEM CAUSED, MONSTERS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED
I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin
is dead. And is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend.
Wow, buddy, that was, um, really dark... Awesome: And specific!
This is an emergency! Control must be believed and obeyed! No-one in the colony believes in Macra! There is no such thing as Macra! Macra do not exist! There are no Macra!
speaking as The Controller, Doctor Who
, "The Macra Terror"
Look, I might not have been a saint, but it's not like I killed anybody. I wasn't an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. Chidi:
Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
If this were some random person you hooked up with at a Diamondbacks game in the parking lot behind the porta-potties - not based on a real example - I would say keep mulling.
So, you up here
visiting family? Barney:
No! I'm not Canadian. Not even a quarter Canadian on my father's side, shut up! We're not talking aboot
: This is bad. We gotta definitely
write a song about how we do not
diddle kids. "Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddlin' kids!" Mac
: ...there is no
quicker way for people to think you are diddling kids than WRITING A SONG ABOUT IT!
It is all dark. Some people are afraid of the dark. Isn't that silly? Oh, it's silly. Some people think that just because it is dark, there are scary... things around! Spooky things... sneaking around in the dark. But there... there... there are not, y'know, there are not... There are not... There are not!
...Maybe I'd better turn on the light and show you!
Carol! What about Carol?! Nandor:
Guillermo didn't kill her! Simon:
Why would you phrase it like that?! Nandor:
) Do you see how I threw the suspicion off of you Guillermo? Guillermo:
No, you threw the suspicion on me
Do you like working here? Samuel Suffering, An Oppressed Factory Worker:
Certainly, sir. It is not now and never has been awful, and no-one is terrified of Mr. Whackwallop.
"Good afternoon. This is your captain speaking. Just to say there is absolutely nothing to worry about."
"Hello. Captain Crieff here again. Still no need to panic. I repeat, there is no need
"Or to look out of the windows."
I made the zombies! I was never as good as my totally-not-made-up brother Zed, and we're totally different people!
— Dr. Ned
approximately every other sentence, Borderlands
is never seen with a spot of blood upon his person. Not a spot.
That didn't happen. You didn't slip and end up dangling from a cornice. Cats didn't mock you for your efforts. A large ginger certainly didn't sit on your head as your feet flailed. Nothing happened at all.
Are you responsible for this? HK-50: Defensive Answer
: Master, I am a protocol droid, not a well-crafted assassination droid of unrivaled sophistication. To have carried out the actions that took place here would have required an unusual set of skills. It is highly unlikely I possess the knowledge of how to reprogram the memory cores of base-worker class droids into killing machines, let alone to terminate the organics at this facility, utilizing only Aratech 500 series laser mining drills and explosives fashioned from proton missile cores!
I'm not doing anything suspicious... really.
This man is no different from any other. He has many witnesses who swear to this fact through torture and pain of death. Look elsewhere for a man of any note.
N-n-n-no! He didn't take Dad's homemade knife and go into the mountains to kill the Drago! Alec:
It's a good thing you raised him to be honest, Flint!
Don't look, now! I'm not going to stick my butt out or anything like that, though.
Contact with the colony on Mars will be shortly re-established, and this has nothing to do with the impending arrival of the mysterious aliens.
N-O-M-A-F-I-A, oh baby!
Welcome, welcome, generous friends!
Days and weeks and tokens to spend!
We're just regular businessmen!
Just you and me and Ted. E. Bear!
Ted. E. Bear's is oodles of fun!
Slots and sandwiches and poker and guns!
And look, no mobsters, nary a one!
Just you and me and Ted. E. Bear!
This amusement park was constructed entirely out of a sense of remorse for my past transgressions, and is in no way associated with any sort of evil plot or premeditated misdeeds. Sonic: Well, that's a relief.
"Ah yes, the N-ZAP '89. This is quite simply an N-ZAP '85 that was redesigned for
well, definitely not legal reasons. No siree. Nothing to see here. Lawyers definitely did not have anything to do with this."
So you really want to know, eh? All right, fine, Jeane is... a very nice young lady, with absolutely no mind-boggling secrets to hide. None whatsoever. Moving on...
's final investigation on Jeane in Suikoden V
Huh? It's a rappig
Ah, n-no! You got it wrong! I just found it in a shop at Belkend. It's not like I thought it was cute or anything. Yeah, I just... ehm... that is... Anise, don't tell anyone, okay?
"Look, I brought some oats for you. They aren't poison or anything."
"In retrospect, I guess that wasn't a very comforting thing to say."
ADVENT officials revealed that today's maneuver by local peacekeepers was a planned exercise. Citizens should not be alarmed. All weapon fire and wounds were simulated to better train ADVENT forces.
All ADVENT gene therapy clinics will be closed tomorrow for equipment upgrades. Initial reports that the suspension of services were the result of dissident activity have been dismissed as radical propaganda.
Reports of armed engagements today between peacekeepers and XCOM dissidents were deemed false by ADVENT's Speaker.
Citizens are encouraged to avoid the area until the investigation is completed.
Propaganda Announcer following successful missions, XCOM 2
You can still watch TV, go outside, read a book, ask for a refund. Umm, no refund. That... that game is free— this is not a game! It has nothing to do with a game; it's just a massive package of boredom! There is nothing to do in here! You can quit and leave me alone! Thank you! Goodbye. Oh, and please, do not touch the title— it's not quite dry yet, especially the letter "O". No more ball, nowhere. No need to search, 'cause there's nothing that looks like a ball. No ball on the screen. Ki:
It's not caffeine, not sugar... not time for Star Wars Episode II
yet... doesn't look like "Mr. Colon" is acting up again... could be job anxiety... Nick:
Nope! No job anxiety here! Didn't get an impossible-to-turn-down dream job, nosiree! Not me! Ki:
I promise to be the bestest bard
ever and never be bad and never accidentally lead you into an ambush and— Roy:
That's an oddly specific promise...
After making these statements, he assured us that he was (in fact) "stable." It's funny how asserting
one's stability tends to create the opposite impression.
Halt! This exit is now closed! Please use this other exit and go about your business. There is currently a situation. Robot 2:
The situation does not involve a large monster or two. Robot 1:
Man, shut uuuup!
Well, it certainly wasn't a dangerous gene-altering chemical that someone forgot to secure properly... ah heh...
My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Well allow me to shake your hand. JEFF BRIDGES:
No loser, you must earn my handshake. (to camera
) This setup wont be forgotten and is totally going to pay off in the end. Honest. Pinky swear. Wink. Note: He's LYING.
: No cavities! I am proud of you, Lola! Lola Loud
: Really?! Uh, I mean, of course there are no cavities. It's not like I've been eating cake after bedtime. (awkward chuckle
) Rita Loud
: Hah! The way you said that makes you think you have been.
: Don't make me regret this. Sonic
: I wont, I promise. And I definitely wont smoke crack in the bathroom Knuckles
OK, good, First I- Wait, what!? Why did you bring up smoking crack?
These are the words of a guy who knows what the wrong answer is, just not necessarily the right one. "I want you back girl, cause I miss your... not your body." Hey Bieber
, where were you the night of the murder? "Why, I remember I was definitely at 'not at the victim's house between 12:45 and 1:30 then driving to the river to dispose of the murder weapon."
hey come check out our cool bunker, guys. I promise there's no crazy wormhole thing under our base continuously killing us
...Assuming it doesn't make you clip into an inexplicably hovering ore deposit that's totally meant to do that and not a bug, no REALLY!
"The other anime move is the Foresight Slash, a stance that counters any attack that comes your way, and because I'm so good at Monster Hunter, I don't feel the need to show you all the footage of the myriad of times I was able to pull it off. Because I totally did pull it off every time I used it, STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS"
At first glance, these appear to be nothing more than some really thick sandals. However, my eye is almost immediately drawn to the cow with the word "cowhide" defensively placed above it. Making footwear out of cowhide is not unusual. In fact, I would guess the majority of shoes are made out of it. What is
unusual is feeling like you have to specifically state it in a way other shoes do not.
Snooping as usual, I see? Scratch:
Not me! I didn't hear nothing about Von Schlemmer's dream-a-majig! Grounder:
Uh, me neither! Especially I didn't hear the part about the clown...
Anne: How was the convention, HP?
Hop Pop: Oh, fine. Didn't get swarmed by killer locusts, if that's what you mean. How was your weekend?
Sprig: We didn't rob a train.
Polly: Nope. No crimes committed.
: Good, good. Great to know we definitely didn't have two wacky adventures.
I'm not a... serial
Wait, why did you emphasize "serial?" Kriegar:
Wait, I did — whaaaat?
Are we doing? Did I mention I have a surprise for you?
This awful cold. It's so horrible... so painful... and so very, very real.
Who are you? Gyro:
Nobody. Just your... common crackpot outlaw. Definitely NOT a brilliant scientist from the future accidentally stuck in the Old West- I mean Current West.
<The blue-haired woman will make a good sacrifice.> Marge:
What's he saying? Mr. Burns:
Aaaaaaaaah... he's saying... ummmmm... "we wouldn't dream
of sacrificing the blue-haired woman!" Marge
: Awwwwww, well isn't that
You're probably wondering why we're standing here with a pile of money and no pants on. Chef:
Actually, uh... Mayor McDaniels:
Well, I can assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Japanese mafia. Officer Barbrady:
Not a thingy-dingy!
Tiananmen Square. On this site in 1989, nothing happened.
— Commemorative plaque at Tiananmen Square, The Simpsons
, "Goo Goo Gai Pan"
It *was* a monster [who broke the statue]! It WAS!!