Anime & Manga
A landlubber!! So helpless that he could drown in his own bathtub.
Comic Books
I hate the sea. It's one of the few places where my radar sense is useless. Amplified sound with no direction. No sense of smell. No touch. Nature's sensory deprivation tank. And from the height I've just fallen from, I have no idea how deep I am. The only way to know which way is up is from the decreasing pressure on my eardrums. But I'm not thinking about that. All of my abilities have been replaced by wild thrashing while my brain screams "Don't drown."
— Daredevil's internal monologue, Superior Iron Man #2
Fan Works
Kirby: So where do we go from here? Do we just swim?
Sonic: I can't swim! I need my floatie- er, I mean, a flotation device.
Ganondorf: You don't need a flotation device when you're underwater.
Sonic: ...I don't like him. He keeps outwitting me.
Sonic: I can't swim! I need my floatie- er, I mean, a flotation device.
Ganondorf: You don't need a flotation device when you're underwater.
Sonic: ...I don't like him. He keeps outwitting me.
— Super Paper Mario X, Chapter 19
Film - Animation
Grand Councilwoman: What is that?
Alien: Water. Most of the planet is covered in it.
Grand Councilwoman: He (Experiment 626) won't survive in water. His molecular density is too great.
— Lilo & Stitch, discussing 626's weakness to water.
Literature
"You ought to be convinced by now that Archimedes' principle doesn't apply, so far as I am concerned."
Coughing and blowing her nose, Mother started for the beach.
"I still don't understand it," Dad muttered. "She's right. It completely refutes Archimedes."
Video Games
> SWIM
Not in this game, Swimmer Dan! In this game, you drown.
"I'm a Warrior Hero Adventurer Goddess who CAN'T SWIM, OKAY?!"
— Skye of the Skittles promotional video game Darkened Skye
"If only we had some minions who could swim... or float... or not drown quite so quickly..."
"Minions can't swim, Master, but they are remarkably good at drowning."
— Gnarl, Overlord I
"Don’t you know that you never learn to swim until the sequel?"
— Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons Game
"Water: My arch nemesis!"
— Captain Qwark, Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time
"Don't fall, Agent 3! You know we sea creatures can't swim! (Heh heh...)"
— Cap'n Cuttlefish, Splatoon
"You obviously haven't seen turians swim. It's a lot of flailing and splashing interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning."
— Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect 3
"You don't know how to swim."
— Deepwoken's description of One Bit echo modifier
Web Original
"Finally, a hero in a sandbox game that can justify the fact that he can't swim."
— Ben "Yahtzee" Crowshaw
reviews Infamous (text in the end credits)
reviews Infamous (text in the end credits)"It's exactly how water works in a video game: It looks all stupid and harmless, but the second your foot touches the surface, you get some bullshit drowning animation and die instantly."
Web Video
"This guy can go all over fighting hordes of evil monsters... but he can't even fucking swim!?"
"How is Indiana Jones such a wimp that he can't set foot in water more shallow than a kiddie pool?"
"They're turtles, for fuck's sake! They can't even swim!?"
— The Angry Video Game Nerd again, reviewing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989)
"On a beach, I'm surrounded by water, which will either kill me instantly or trap me at the bottom and kill me slowly. Pass!"
— Sonic, Sonic F
"Oh, that's just great! I can run at supersonic speeds but I can't even get out of a kid's swimming pool? What the hell has Sonic Team been smoking all these years?"
"I see that John has the same weakness as the Uragaan from Monster Hunter. Except in John's case, it means instant death."
"What the fuck, this girl's got tits! S-she can't float?"
Danny: (laughing) Did you just fucking drown immediately from going into knee-deep water?!
Arin: A hundred rings, gone!
Danny: That is the only real threat you've had this entire game! A POND!
Arin: "Let me check the temperature of the water real quick - ABRBLRLBRLBR!!"
Arin: A hundred rings, gone!
Danny: That is the only real threat you've had this entire game! A POND!
Arin: "Let me check the temperature of the water real quick - ABRBLRLBRLBR!!"
Webcomics
I am Isildur, King of Gondor! With the hilt-shard of Narsil, I cut the One Ring from Sauron's finger during the siege of Mordor. Oh! I stepped in a creek and died.
— Tycho
