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Quotes / Stealing from the Hotel

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Ross: No, Chandler. You have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. Hair dryer, no no no, but shampoo and conditioner, yes yes yes! You can't steal the salt shaker, but the salt...(Ross opens the salt shaker and pour the salt on his hand). I really didn't think this through.
Chandler: I get get it (grabs the tv remote control).
Ross: No! You can't take the remote control!
Chandler: Yes, but the batteries (opens the remote and kicks the batteries out).
(Ross claps his hands)

(Lorelei grabs her robe from her hotel room)
Emily: That's a robe.
Lorelei: Yes it is! This is my robe! And now I want you to go to your room and get your room and get your robe! And then exactly at the same time, we're going to shove them in our bags and walk out that door and leave with them!
Emily: That's stealing!
Lorelei: Yes it is!
Emily: You want me to steal a robe?!
Lorelei: Mom, we've always talked about how much you love this robe!
Emily: I already have a robe at home!
Lorelei: I'm folding this robe and putting it in my suitcase (Lorelei folds the robe and puts in her suitcase)
Emily: That's crazy! As soon as they'll check the tags, they're going to know they were stolen!
Lorelei: Let them check and search all over the country! Either way, whether we get away with it or not, it will be a bonding experience for us! The question is: Am I doing this alone?
Emily: Have you ever stolen a robe with Rory?
Lorelei: Rory would never steal a robe. She's far too moral for that. You, on the other hand, vicious trulip.
Emily: All right, fine. But just remember that in one night, you managed to turn me into an adulterer and a thief!
Lorelei: I can make you chicken fryer by the end of the month.

(Jerry and Theresa are spying on the kids during their romantic getaway through a hidden camera in a teddy bear)
Jerry: He's good at reading women. I taught that boy everything he knows.
Theresa: Jerry, I think you've missed the point! Harper and Zeke are in charge of our restaurant and our kids just came out of the lair with a wolf!
Jerry: You're right! We gotta get out of here! I'll grabs the hotel towels! You grabs the soaps and the sewing kit.
(Theresa leaves. Jerry grabs a chair, but then puts it back)

Terry: I know everything that goes on in my hotel.
Danny: So should I give the towels back?
Terry: No, the towels you can keep.

Lister: There was this one time at this hotel...
Kryten: Oh, lots of people take towels from hotels, sir.
Lister: I took the bed.


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