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Quotes / Stalker with a Crush

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    Anime & Manga 
"The girl was walking alone that night. Then suddenly a man appeared and confessed his love to the girl. I believe you call these people 'stalkers'?"
Rem, Death Note

"Oh, mister Stalker, I have to go to the bathroom. You have to let me go to the bathroom. I know! You can watch me pee. That's what you want isn't it? Isn't it?!"
Misa, Death Note

"I wish Fuyuki would fall in love with me so we can start planning our baby's hair color."
Momoka, Sgt. Frog

"Why must you always follow me like a shadow?"
Ichigo to Quiche, Tokyo Mew Mew

    Comic Books 
"It doesn't matter that she's her dimension's Spider-Person, she's still Gwen Stacy. She still belongs to me. She may not realize it yet, but I have always been her destiny."
Jackal, Ghost-Spider (2019) #4
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    Film — Live-Action 
"I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter."
Chip Douglas, The Cable Guy

    Literature 
A secret admirer is the same as a stalker
With really nice stationery.
Demetri Martin, "Same and Different"

It's just like when two people in love go for a long walk except one of them doesn't know they're being followed.

Is spying as bad as it sounds? C'mon. They're in
your thoughts. You're in their bushes. It all evens out.

And it's a good way to protect your dumplin' from danger. Like the danger of meeting somebody better than you.
And besides, isn't spying just another way of saying "I luv you so much I'm willing to invade your privacy to prove it?
it's happy bunny: Love Bites, Chapter 2: Spying

    Live-Action TV 
"I see all of my ex-girlfriends. Well, not so much see as watch."
Brian, Spaced

Ted: It's a meet-cute!
Lily: It's a stalk-crazy.
How I Met Your Mother, "P.S. I Love You"

"Stalking is when a bird is obviously in love with you but won’t admit it to herself. So you have to follow her around, you know, bombard her with phone-calls, send her poems, pour acid over her front door..."
Sean, 'Orrible

Jez: I'm not giving up that easily. Faint heart never won fair maid!
Mark: Right. The epigram on the Stalker's Manifesto.

    Music 
Choose me or your pyre
Frollo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, "Hellfire."

The law can’t stop my love
I’ll fit you like a glove
Restraining orders don’t scare me
Robin Daggers, “P.S. I Love You”, How I Met Your Mother

I won't lie, you're a very pretty lady
(Thank you!)
But you're crazy, crazy, crazy
You make me want to move to Bolivia
(I'll go with you!)
You know, I'm thinking I should get a restraining order
(Those are so hard to enforce)
'Cause your car was parked outside my house every night this week
(Your neighbors are sweet!)
You're the reason that I have to keep my shades drawn
(I'll watch you through the chimney!)
I've installed an alarm system with motion beam detectors
* rappels from ceiling*
(I have the code.)
Bugs and Lola Bunny, The Looney Tunes Show ("We Are in Love")

My darling, you were meant for me
Even though you don't agree
I will be there for you.
No, we can't be apart
Or the nightmares will start
And you might break my heart
DON'T BREAK MY HEART.
Ute Lemper, "You Were Meant For Me"

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you
Animotion, "Obsession"

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me.
Papa-paparazzi
Lady Gaga, "Paparazzi"

You can't escape now
I've got you locked inside this room
You know I tip good
And soon, you will love me too
Cobra Starship, "It's Warmer In the Basement"

Just hop a bus, baby, I don't care!
Go anyplace or anywhere
I'll track you down on land or air or sea!
I'll swim across the ocean wide
And through ice and snow, I'll slip and slide
There's no escape, ya just can't hide from me!
— "I'm Gonna Get To You", Cecille the Ball from Sesame Street

There is someone
Walking behind you
Turn around, look at me
There is someone
Watching your footsteps
Turn around, look at me
There is someone
Who really needs you
Here's my heart
In my hand
Turn around (turn around)
Look at me (look at me)
— "Turn Around, Look at Me", The Vogues

You belong to me
My snow white queen
There's nowhere to run
So let's just get it over
Soon, I know, you'll see
You're just like me
Don't scream anymore, my love
Cause all I want is you
—"Snow White Queen," Evanescence.

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I would wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be a part of you
'Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you.
—"#1 Crush," Garbage

Oh, you know it's true, I'm obsessed with you
You're the kind of joy I like to break
Now I must confess, I'm a complicated mess
With a bad attitude and a gun under my dress
— "Gorgeous" by Jefree Star

Every breath you take,
Every move you make,
Every bond you break,
Every step you take,
I'll be watching you;

"I read your book
But then it took
A year to find your house.
I was nervous at first
But then it got worse
When there was turning round.
If you don't know by now just look.
I'm right outside.
You've got to admit that
I'm your boyfriend now."
— "I'm Your Boyfriend Now", They Might Be Giants

You just don't know it yet but you love me and I love you the same
One day we'll have a pretty wedding and I'll be your everything
We'll be together, yes forever, we will never ever part
Oh you don't know it yet but baby I've already got your heart.
"An Unhealthy Obsession", The Synthetic Orchestra

I wanna be the guy
That you find stalking your affections
Your social media scoured
You seek police interventions
'Cause I base my
Ideals on obsessive media
Maybe if I act like them
You'll respond to my DM's

    Video Games 
"You might say I'd overdone it, and in truth, at that point, my love and I had not actually met. Ever the romantic, I followed her to her apartment. Loudly proclaiming my love, I drowned out her screams of protest. Sadly, it was not to be. So instead of smothering her with gifts, I simply smothered her."
Calendar Man, Batman: Arkham City

"Alma covets you. She's a... coveter. You are like free pizza at an anime convention. She can smell you... and she wants to consume you."

"Senpai will be mine. He doesn't have a choice."
Ayano Aishi, intro to Yandere Simulator
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    Western Animation 

"I don't want to own you! I want to love you. I want you to remember that you love me."
Hydro-Man to Mary-Jane, Spider-Man: The Animated Series

Sierra: I called his aunt once. I pretended I was a telemarketer!
Noah: Ooh, stalkerlicious.
Total Drama World Tour

    Real Life 
If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism.
Erich Fromm

Once again, the crazy lady skinny dipper was taken away for a psychiatric evaluation. I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to guess she was diagnosed with 90s Hunk Fever. I knew that Neo still had the skills to drop panties faster than a bus driving with a bomb under it, but DAMN! These women will straight-up home invade a bitch for a taste of Ted Logan’s wyld trouser stallyn! Don’t they realize they don’t need to be so crazy? Keanu is chill as fuck! I bet if you asked nicely, he’d invite you over and teach you some pants-less tai chi.
Michael K., "Keanu Reeves Found Another Strange Lady In His House And This Time She Was Naked"


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