Announcer: Mathman, your mission is to...
Mr. Glitch: Nope. Mathman is not here!
Announcer: Oh, Where is he?
Mr. Glitch: He went out to walk his dog.
Announcer: Very well, Mister Glitch. Your mission is to decide if the forthcoming statements are true or false. If the statement is true, eat the letter T. If it's false, eat the letter F. You have a count of 10 seconds to make your decision. And beware of Mathdog. He will eat you if you are wrong, or if you ran out of time!
—Used when Mathman is absent. The player controls Mr. Glitch
Mathman: Mathman, Mathman.... THAT'S THE MOST ABSURD THING I HEARD IN DAYS! Isn't it, Mathdog?
Mathdog: Bark Bark!
Mathman: All sorts of people are good at math. Kids, adults, girls, and boys. I cannot believe you went for that, Mr. Glitch.
Mr. Glitch: Oh, you don't. Well, perhaps I did.
Mathman: Sick him, Mathdog!
Mathdog: Mathdog, Mathdog, Mathdog, (Eats Mr. Glitch; a big "GAME OVER!" screen appears)
—After Mr. Glitch got the answer wrong on True or False: Curly haired people from Toronto are better at math than anyone else.
Announcer: Mathman, your mission is to only eat decimals greater than 1, and no other numbers. If you encounter a number, you have a count of 10 seconds to make your decision. And beware of the evil tornado Mr. Glitch! (He appears and eats Mathman before the game begins) He will...eat you!
[Instead of GAME OVER!, the screen reads OUT OF ORDER!]
Arcade Owner: (Off screen) YOU CAN'T PLAY THIS GAME! IT'S IN FOR REPAIRS!
—From the Mathman segment where Mr. Glitch ate Mathman before the game even started.
Announcer: The story you are about to see is a fib, but it's short. The names are made up, but the problems are real.
—Introduction to Mathnet