Mr. Conductor: Now this story is all about Henry, (Voice breaks down) But I must warn you kids. It's a very sad story! (Sobs Hysterically/No whistle is blown when the story started)
—From the episode Does it Bite? When Mr. Conductor was sobbing and warning the kids that Come Out Henry! is a very sad story. And because Mr. Conductor was too busy sobbing about Henry and his punishment, he did not blow his whistle to begin the story.
Mr. Conductor: You love trains and stories?
Daniel Jones: Yes, I do.
Mr. Conductor: Well, you came to the right place. Let me introduce you. I'm Mr. Conductor, at your service.
Kara: Are you going anywhere?
Mr. Conductor: Yes, here, here and everywhere! Hey, Do you remember the story about when Thomas believed in a ghost? Let me tell you about it! (Blows his whistle to begin the story)
—From the episode Scare Dares. The first episode to feature George Carlin as Mr. Conductor.
Stacy Jones: Kids, That's enough TV!
Billy Twofeathers: Ahem!
*Stacy Jones gasps when she see kids with Zombie eyes*
Stacy Jones: HOLY COUCH POTATOES! THAT'S IT! NO MORE TV FOR YOU GUYS! (Unplugs the TV sets)
Becky: Hey, what happened? Where are we?
Stacy Jones: Kids, you were watching too much TV.
Becky: Yeah, you're right!
Stacy Jones: Where are you going, Becky?
Becky: Well, I am going to the Traveling Zoo.
Stacy Jones: Oh, I am so sorry. They already left. But don't you worry, they will be back tomorrow.
Daniel Jones: Well, I am going to the Baseball Card show.
Stacy Jones: Nope, you are too late. They are closed for the day.
Kara Cupper: Well, I am going to the Canoe ride.
Billy Twofeathers: Nah-uh! I had to put all the canoes away. There won't be any more rides until next week.
Kara Cupper: You mean we missed everything?!?
Stacy Jones: No, you will never miss a thing, because there is always something new to do. But you did miss what you wanted to do.
—From the episode Mr. Conductor Gets Left Out.
