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"They're also saying she displays typical symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, the first clue being the day she 'hatched' and entered a violently agitated state, triggered by the sight of Monster Zero's head. Subject has become insomniac, and when she does sleep experiences nightmares. Just activating the containment field makes her jump."
— Mariko describing Vivienne Graham's PTSD since her rebirth after Ghidorah (Monster Zero) ate her, Abraxas (Hrodvitnon)
Cassie wonders, with a touch of annoyance at herself, if she’s going to be able to stop automatically mistrusting ex-hosts any time soon. Yeah. Sure. Probably around the time she stops flinching at loud noises and feeling half-suffocated any time she has to put on outer clothes that might restrict her in case she needs to morph in a hurry.
— Eleutherophobia: A Straight Line Down Through the Heart
I saw him, in that body I’d come to think of as the enemy. The body of my brother, once upon a time, but I’d forced myself to stop seeing him like that. At least, I’d tried.
“Get off of her!” I snarled the words, and lunged at him, already mentally calculating. No time to morph. Tobias was bent over in the corner; maybe Tom already took him out. I grabbed for him, and only stopped myself just in time.
Not an attack.
My instincts buzzed—he’d moved so fast, he’d gone for her, he would kill her, kill all of us—but Tom wasn’t trying to snap her neck. He wasn’t trying to twist her spine into two pieces. He wasn’t trying to hit her.
He was hugging her. And he was shuddering.
“Get off of her!” I snarled the words, and lunged at him, already mentally calculating. No time to morph. Tobias was bent over in the corner; maybe Tom already took him out. I grabbed for him, and only stopped myself just in time.
Not an attack.
My instincts buzzed—he’d moved so fast, he’d gone for her, he would kill her, kill all of us—but Tom wasn’t trying to snap her neck. He wasn’t trying to twist her spine into two pieces. He wasn’t trying to hit her.
He was hugging her. And he was shuddering.
— Jake's narration, What Tomorrow Brings
"It's... It's hard, gramps..." He suddenly deflated a bit, letting go of the bag, "I know I seem like an uncaring, emotionless bastard, but all of this has affected me so badly, I don't even know where to begin. The nightmares are the worst, because I can pretend nothing happened during the day, I can pretend everything's normal and nothing is wrong, but I can't do that when I sleep, and I can't tell anyone about the new ones because nobody fucking remembers."
— Jotaro Kujo, Jonathan Joestar, The First JoJo
Dev-Em: Kara. Will you shut up and let them talk?
Kara: I will not shut up and they can damned well talk after I’m finished! And I’m not finished! I serve in the Crisis and I almost die, I get my guts torn open, and luckily I get helped out by another Supergirl and healed by Raven. Almost Death #1. Then the Legion, my Legion, has me come to the 30th and I have to go to Hell and fight Mordru, and Satan Girl almost beats me to death. I still don’t know how Dev brought me back, but I’m thankful he did. Thank you, Dev.
Dev-Em: You’re welcome.
Kara: Shut up! That’s Almost Death #2, Then we go back to the 20th and everybody gets into a big gang war with everybody else, and I wind up on Apokolips and save everybody from that damned Anti-Life Equation, and I’m the only one on her feet to fight Darkseid, and he damned near disintegrates me. Almost Death #3. Am I seeing a pattern here? And now... now... you snatch me and Dev from what was supposed to be a peaceful weekend of relaxing and, and seeing the sights, and catching up with old Legion friends and, oh, you know what all else, and now whoomp! I’m in whatever time I’m in, and you say that magic word 'Darkseid', and I’m supposed to drop everything and sign up for the latest crusade, and I DON’T WANT TO!
[Beat]
Kara: [sighing, crouching and hiding her face] I. Am. Just. Getting. So. Damned. Tired.
Kara: I will not shut up and they can damned well talk after I’m finished! And I’m not finished! I serve in the Crisis and I almost die, I get my guts torn open, and luckily I get helped out by another Supergirl and healed by Raven. Almost Death #1. Then the Legion, my Legion, has me come to the 30th and I have to go to Hell and fight Mordru, and Satan Girl almost beats me to death. I still don’t know how Dev brought me back, but I’m thankful he did. Thank you, Dev.
Dev-Em: You’re welcome.
Kara: Shut up! That’s Almost Death #2, Then we go back to the 20th and everybody gets into a big gang war with everybody else, and I wind up on Apokolips and save everybody from that damned Anti-Life Equation, and I’m the only one on her feet to fight Darkseid, and he damned near disintegrates me. Almost Death #3. Am I seeing a pattern here? And now... now... you snatch me and Dev from what was supposed to be a peaceful weekend of relaxing and, and seeing the sights, and catching up with old Legion friends and, oh, you know what all else, and now whoomp! I’m in whatever time I’m in, and you say that magic word 'Darkseid', and I’m supposed to drop everything and sign up for the latest crusade, and I DON’T WANT TO!
[Beat]
Kara: [sighing, crouching and hiding her face] I. Am. Just. Getting. So. Damned. Tired.
Film — Live-Action
"'Someday this war's gonna end.' That'd be just fine with the boys on the boat. They weren't looking for anything more than a way home. Trouble is, I'd been back there, and I knew that it just didn't exist anymore."
— Benjamin Willard, Apocalypse Now
"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when in your heart, you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold."
— Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
"NOTHING is 'over'! Nothing! You just don't 'turn it off'! It wasn't my war! You asked me, I didn't ask you!"
— John Rambo to Col. Trautman, First Blood
"I can't get it out of my head. After seven years. Everyday it hurts. And sometimes I wake up and I don't know where I am. I don't talk to anybody. Sometimes a day — a week. I can't put it out of my mind."
— John Rambo, First Blood
[On the Shivering Soldier, who has panicked at the thought of returning to Dunkirk]
George: Is he a coward, Mr. Dawson?
Mr. Dawson: He's shell-shocked, George. He's not himself. He might never be himself again.
George: Is he a coward, Mr. Dawson?
Mr. Dawson: He's shell-shocked, George. He's not himself. He might never be himself again.
— Dunkirk
"You know, it strikes me as the most extraordinary irony that you managed to come through the war with flying colors but seem to find the peace so utterly defeating."
— Joanna Burton describing her brother Jerry, Marple: The Moving Finger
"I guess you forgot about the time you and Bravo company left my black ass for dead, huh? But I remember. I remember everything. I remember Vietnam like it was yesterday. I remember that village in Tainan that we cut down. It was a massacre. All the dead Chinamen we left in our tracks. I remember the faces, the children. This one child I'll never forget. Poor little bastard was still alive. His little Chinese legs were blown clean off! Still see his little shins and feet hanging from the ceiling fan across the hut. He was charred from his head down to his little Chinese knees. He tried to get up, but he fell over when what was left of his right leg broke off. As he laid there, flat on his face, he looked up at me. His little Chinese eyes burned right into my stomach, deep into my soul. He said something to me in Chinese like, 'Boo coo sow!', sounded like some cartoon shit. But I understood it to be a question that he was asking me. And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was. 'Why, Black Dynamite? Why?'"
— Black Dynamite, Black Dynamite
"Battle scars are not always of the body."
— Hercule Poirot, A Haunting in Venice
Literature
"We are not youth any longer. We don't want to take the world by storm. We are fleeing. We fly from ourselves. From our life. We were eighteen and had begun to love life and the world; and we had to shoot it to pieces. The first bomb, the first explosion, burst in our hearts. We are cut off from activity, from striving, from progress. We believe in such things no longer, we believe in the war."
— Paul Bäumer, All Quiet on the Western Front
Let the months and years come, they can take nothing from me, they can take nothing more. I am so alone, and so without hope that I can confront them without fear.
"Black dice... You've been out in the field too long... that's what black dice means. Means the luck of the draw has run out on him. A guy with experience that can see death in another man's eyes. Yeah, the next time the dice of chance roll, they'll roll up black. Death."
— The Executioner #98: "Black Dice"
"I wasn't battle-happy, or mentally scarred, or hung up with guilt, nor did patrols of miniature Japanese brew up under my bed (as happened to one of my section whenever we came out of the line; we used to tell him to take his kukri to them, and when he had done so to his satisfaction, swearing and carving the air, we all went back to sleep again, him included)."
— Lieutenant Dand MacNeill, McAuslan
"It's so much worse than you think, Rose. The things that happen over there, the state of things in the trenches, and having to guard my unit at all hours? I changed, I got fit, I changed the way I think, how I sleep and eat, so I can be on guard, always watching for tricks. For rats that are a little too smart, or phantoms that would whisper panic into men’s ears while they sleep? For ghouls that... well, they pretend to be soldiers that die like anyone might, but when you let your guard down and search the body, they bite you and get a hungry kind of death into the wound?"
— Aimon Behaim, Pact
"War seems a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know. Then they get a taste of battle. For some, that one taste is enough to break them. Others go on for years, until they lose count of all the battles they have fought in, but even a man who has survived a hundred fights can break in his hundred-and-first. [...] All thought of home is gone by then, and kings and lords and gods mean less to him than a haunch of spoiled meat that will let him live another day, or a skin of bad wine that might drown his fear for a few hours. The broken man lives from day to day, from meal to meal, more beast than man. Lady Brienne is not wrong. In times like these, the traveler must beware of broken men, and fear them... but he should pity them as well."
— Septon Meribald, A Song of Ice and Fire
"Just about everyone comes to this crossroad. Some get seventy years, some only get fifteen. Enough time to grow, to take stock of who you are. Enough time to do things you’ll regret when you run out of time."
— Contessa, Worm
Taylor: It's about regret, and coming to terms with it all.
Annette: You're only eighteen. Why are you worrying about something like that at this stage?
Taylor: Because I’m done. My life is over, for all intents and purposes. No matter how hard I try from here on out, I'll never do anything one ten–thousandth as important as what I was doing before.
Annette: You're only eighteen. Why are you worrying about something like that at this stage?
Taylor: Because I’m done. My life is over, for all intents and purposes. No matter how hard I try from here on out, I'll never do anything one ten–thousandth as important as what I was doing before.
— Worm
Every night he dreams he is where air curdles his lungs and the sky is a toxic slurry of black and black-red clouds that the earth vomits and the ground is baked to powder and lost boys wonder and slough off flesh in clots and do not see him or each other though they pass close by howling without words or in a language of collapsing jargon, acronyms and shorthands that once meant something and are now the grunts of pigs.
— Foundation, by China Miéville
"Before the war, this was only packed earth and grass and dirt to me; before the war, I trod this path from home to the capital thinking of the sweetness of rare fruits. Now that my back is to Ayutthaya, the ground is sometimes baked salt where nothing grows and sometimes wet mud bubbling with the voices of the dead. Inside my arteries there is blood which throbs and pumps, and my belly growls at emptiness as might a bad-tempered dog. But it is difficult to be sure, after so much soldiering, that one is still alive. It is difficult to be certain this is not all a fever dream.
It can be difficult to remember who you are, having watched Queen Suriyothai
die.
These are the common ailments of any soldier, though few will admit them."
It can be difficult to remember who you are, having watched Queen Suriyothai
die. These are the common ailments of any soldier, though few will admit them."
— Fade To Gold, by Benjanun Sriduangkaew
"They... they keep coming back. Yes, yes, coming back, trying to take me away with them... I remember them... Do you know what a cannonball can do, sir? Sometimes they bounce, very funny, ha, and then they are running along the ground, and some lad... yes, some lad from Ireland, with his head full of lies about combat, and in his pocket a badly-drawn picture of his girlfriend, who might have let him tickle her fancy because he was the brave warrior off to fight Boney... This young warrior sees that dreadful cannonball rolling along on the turf like it's a game of skittles, and so like a bloody idiot he calls out to his mates, such as have survived, and he decides to give it a big kick, not knowing how much force there is left in the ball. Which is quite enough to take off his leg, and not just his leg. Barber-surgeon, that's me, the surgeon bit on the battlefield being somewhat akin to butchery, but slightly better paid... And I see them now... the broken men, the handiwork of God twisted into terrible shapes, terrible.. and here they come, just as they always come, our glorious heroes, some seeing for those with no eyes, some carrying those with no legs, some screaming for them with no voice... Not enough bandages, not enough medicine, not enough... life... I tried. I never pointed the weapon at another man, I just tried to help, when the best help you can give is the gentle knife, and yet still they come... they come here now, all the time... looking for me... and they say they aren't dead, but I know they are. Dead, but still walking. Oh the pity of it, the pity."
— Sweeney Todd, Dodger
"This is what war does to all of us. It chews us up and spits us out mangled. There's no dishonor in taking a step away to recover. No more than there's dishonor in giving yourself time to heal from a stab wound."
— Dalinar Kholin, Rhythm of War
Live-Action TV
"The war gave them definition, direction, purpose. Without it, they don't know how to fit in anymore. So they keep looking for ways to go out in a blaze of glory. Some people call that being a hero. Maybe so. I don't know. I've never been one. Me? I think they're looking for something worth dying for because it's easier than finding something worth living for."
Corp. John Russell: This medal? I got it when I lost my five best friends in a firefight. AK-47 rounds. I don't know why I survived.
Det. Danny Reagan: Maybe you survived 'cause you were meant to get back to your family.
Russell: No. No, it's 'cause I was quick. You know that drill? [at attention] WHAT ARE THE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, SOLDIER?!
Danny: John, you've got to leave that behind, man...
Russell: THE QUICK AND THE DEAD, SIR! WHAT ARE YOU?! THE QUICK! WHAT'RE THEY?! THE DEAD!
Danny: John, look at me. John. It's time to come home, man.
Russell: I don't want to be quick anymore. [leaps to his death]
Det. Danny Reagan: Maybe you survived 'cause you were meant to get back to your family.
Russell: No. No, it's 'cause I was quick. You know that drill? [at attention] WHAT ARE THE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, SOLDIER?!
Danny: John, you've got to leave that behind, man...
Russell: THE QUICK AND THE DEAD, SIR! WHAT ARE YOU?! THE QUICK! WHAT'RE THEY?! THE DEAD!
Danny: John, look at me. John. It's time to come home, man.
Russell: I don't want to be quick anymore. [leaps to his death]
— Blue Bloods, "Unfinished Business"
Jed: You were there?
Tom: Nun Dat, '68. You?
Jed: Mate, I was there last night.
Tom: Nun Dat, '68. You?
Jed: Mate, I was there last night.
— Blue Heelers, "There Last Night"
"When does it stop — the ringing in your ears?"
— Annie Walker, Covert Affairs
"I'm so old now. I used to have so much mercy."
— The Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, "School Reunion"
Dalek Sec: HOW DID YOU SURVIVE THE TIME WAR?!
Tenth Doctor: By fighting. On the front line. I was there at the fall of Arcadia. Someday, I might even come to terms with that.
Tenth Doctor: By fighting. On the front line. I was there at the fall of Arcadia. Someday, I might even come to terms with that.
— Doctor Who, "Doomsday"
There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity...
Since I found Serenity...
Simon: If that battle was so horrible, why'd he name the ship after it?
Zoe: Once you've been to Serenity, you never leave. You just learn to live there.
Zoe: Once you've been to Serenity, you never leave. You just learn to live there.
— Firefly
"I'm sorry about your friend Mark. But I think that most of him died somewhere in Kandahar."
Stabler: I had my own Allen Crider. Insurance salesman, ran his business out of a converted garage in Queens. Well-liked, would invite the neighborhood kids up for ice cream and stories. One day a six year old girl goes missing from a playground in soho, actually. Long story short, we find her underneath the floorboards of his office along with three other children, all in various stages of decomposition, but he is gone, and i'm left with a cold case. Two years, nothing but silence. And, uh, headaches. I developed these debilitating headaches, I wasn't sleeping, I kept having these recurring nightmares where my own children would be under these floorboards that I couldn't pry up. And then one day, I'm just gassing up my car in Chelsea and there he is. And before I know it I've got his face sandwiched between his windshield and the muzzle of my gun, and I'm yelling, "Freeze!" And I realize I'm yelling at myself. Because I can't stop my finger from pulling the trigger and I'm praying for him to blink, I'm praying for him to twitch, just do something to give me an excuse. And then I see a face inside of his car, It's a girl, this beautiful little six year old girl, these big eyes. I figured she'd seen enough.
Winfield: Yeah, she'd seen enough. Your headaches go away?
Stabler: Yeah.
Grace: What was [Tommy Shelby] like, before France?
Polly: He laughed. A lot. He wanted to work with horses.
Polly: He laughed. A lot. He wanted to work with horses.
Rufus: Folks like us, there ain't no happy ending. We all got it coming.
Dean: Well, ain't you a bucket of sunshine.
Rufus: I'm what you've got to look forward to if you survive.
Dean: Well, ain't you a bucket of sunshine.
Rufus: I'm what you've got to look forward to if you survive.
Kramer: Come on, Frank, I need you! I mean, the war was 50 years ago!
Frank: In my mind... there's a war still goin' on...
Kramer: Alright, what happened, Frank? What is it that you can't get over?
Frank: [pours a glass of whiskey and downs it] Inchon, Korea, 1950. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging hash for the Fighting 103rd. As we marched north, our supply lines were getting thin. But one day, a couple of GIs found a crate. Inside was 600 pounds of prime Texas steer. At least, it once was prime. The use date was three weeks past. But, I was arrogant, I was brash. I thought if I used just the right spices... cooked it long enough...
Kramer: What happened?
Frank: I went too far. I over-seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent 16 of my own men to the latrines that night! They were just boys...
Kramer: Frank, you were a boy too! And it was war! Ah, it was a crazy time for everyone.
Frank: Tell that to Bobby Colby! All that kid wanted to do was go home! Well, he went home, alright! With a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet.
Kramer: Frank—
Frank: Had to sit him on a cork the 18-hour flight home!
Kramer: Frank, now listen to me! 200 Jewish singles need you! This is your chance to make it all right again!
Frank: No! NO! I'LL NEVER COOK AGAIN! NEVER! NOW GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!
Frank: In my mind... there's a war still goin' on...
Kramer: Alright, what happened, Frank? What is it that you can't get over?
Frank: [pours a glass of whiskey and downs it] Inchon, Korea, 1950. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging hash for the Fighting 103rd. As we marched north, our supply lines were getting thin. But one day, a couple of GIs found a crate. Inside was 600 pounds of prime Texas steer. At least, it once was prime. The use date was three weeks past. But, I was arrogant, I was brash. I thought if I used just the right spices... cooked it long enough...
Kramer: What happened?
Frank: I went too far. I over-seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent 16 of my own men to the latrines that night! They were just boys...
Kramer: Frank, you were a boy too! And it was war! Ah, it was a crazy time for everyone.
Frank: Tell that to Bobby Colby! All that kid wanted to do was go home! Well, he went home, alright! With a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet.
Kramer: Frank—
Frank: Had to sit him on a cork the 18-hour flight home!
Kramer: Frank, now listen to me! 200 Jewish singles need you! This is your chance to make it all right again!
Frank: No! NO! I'LL NEVER COOK AGAIN! NEVER! NOW GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!
— Seinfeld, "The Fatigues"
Bashir: Now, I'd like to take a look at this arm—
Vargas: [grabs Bashir by the collar] The hell are you doin'? You keep your hands off this bandage!
Bashir: I need to treat your wound.
Vargas: Nobody touches this bandage. Is that understood?
Bashir: Why is that?
Vargas: I asked you if you understood.
Bashir: Yes...
Vargas: [releases Bashir] ...McGreevy put this bandage on me. He ripped up his own uniform to make it.
Bashir: He sounds like a good friend.
Vargas: He was a jerk, I couldn't stand the guy. He wouldn't shut up. Yap yap yap. He thought he was the world's greatest authority on everything. I know... he's dead, and I should have more respect, but God, I hated him... One minute, he's tying this bandage around my arm, talking his head off, and the next minute, he's lying flat on his back with a hole in his chest... and I just sat there and I looked at him... It was so great... he was so quiet... ONE TIME IN HIS LIFE, HE'S QUIET!
Vargas: [grabs Bashir by the collar] The hell are you doin'? You keep your hands off this bandage!
Bashir: I need to treat your wound.
Vargas: Nobody touches this bandage. Is that understood?
Bashir: Why is that?
Vargas: I asked you if you understood.
Bashir: Yes...
Vargas: [releases Bashir] ...McGreevy put this bandage on me. He ripped up his own uniform to make it.
Bashir: He sounds like a good friend.
Vargas: He was a jerk, I couldn't stand the guy. He wouldn't shut up. Yap yap yap. He thought he was the world's greatest authority on everything. I know... he's dead, and I should have more respect, but God, I hated him... One minute, he's tying this bandage around my arm, talking his head off, and the next minute, he's lying flat on his back with a hole in his chest... and I just sat there and I looked at him... It was so great... he was so quiet... ONE TIME IN HIS LIFE, HE'S QUIET!
Nog: Don't you get it? I can't go out there!
Vic Fontaine: Why not?
Nog: ...I'm scared! Okay?! I'm scared! ...When the war began, I wasn't happy or anything, but I was eager! I wanted to test myself! I wanted to prove I had what it took to be a soldier! And I saw a lot of combat! I saw a lot of people get hurt! I saw a lot of people die! ...But I didn't think anything was going to happen to me... and then suddenly, Doctor Bashir is telling me he has to cut my leg off! I couldn't believe it... I still can't believe it... if I can get shot, if I can lose my leg... anything could happen to me, Vic! I could die tomorrow!... I don't know if I'm ready to face that...
Vic Fontaine: Why not?
Nog: ...I'm scared! Okay?! I'm scared! ...When the war began, I wasn't happy or anything, but I was eager! I wanted to test myself! I wanted to prove I had what it took to be a soldier! And I saw a lot of combat! I saw a lot of people get hurt! I saw a lot of people die! ...But I didn't think anything was going to happen to me... and then suddenly, Doctor Bashir is telling me he has to cut my leg off! I couldn't believe it... I still can't believe it... if I can get shot, if I can lose my leg... anything could happen to me, Vic! I could die tomorrow!... I don't know if I'm ready to face that...
"The other day, a kid threw a snap at me. Before I knew it, I had him in a headlock. [Beat] Now, the judge says I gotta clean some parks."
— Ramona, One Day at a Time (2017)
Music
And so I sit here at this bar
I'm not a hero, I'm not a movie star
I've got my beer, I've got my stories to tell
But they won't tell you what it's like in hell
Red flowers bursting down below us
Those people didn't even know us
We didn't know if we would live or die,
We didn't know if it was wrong or right
We didn't know if we would live or die,
I bombed Korea every night
I'm not a hero, I'm not a movie star
I've got my beer, I've got my stories to tell
But they won't tell you what it's like in hell
Red flowers bursting down below us
Those people didn't even know us
We didn't know if we would live or die,
We didn't know if it was wrong or right
We didn't know if we would live or die,
I bombed Korea every night
— Cake, "I Bombed Korea"
And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And night time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
God help me, I was only nineteen.
And night time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
God help me, I was only nineteen.
— Redgum, "I Was Only 19 (A Walk in the Light Green)"
Oh, gather 'round me, and listen while I speak
Of a war where Hell is six feet deep!
And all along the shore, where cannons still roar,
They're haunting my dreams, they're still there when I sleep!
Of a war where Hell is six feet deep!
And all along the shore, where cannons still roar,
They're haunting my dreams, they're still there when I sleep!
— Sabaton, "To Hell and Back"
A young man becomes a soldier
He isn’t much older
Than a boy and that’s a shame
They will lead him into battle
Hand him medals when he comes home rearranged
He isn’t much older
Than a boy and that’s a shame
They will lead him into battle
Hand him medals when he comes home rearranged
— Streetlight Manifesto, "Your Day Will Come"
I'm a burden, I'm a travesty
I'm a prisoner of regret
Between the flashbacks and the violent dreams
I am hanging on the edge
Disaster lurks around the bend
Paradise came to an end
And no magic pill
Can bring it back again
I'm a prisoner of regret
Between the flashbacks and the violent dreams
I am hanging on the edge
Disaster lurks around the bend
Paradise came to an end
And no magic pill
Can bring it back again
— Dream Theater, "The Enemy Inside"
Years and years of
Bloodshed and warfare
Our mission was only to get in and kill
A free vacation
Of palm trees and shrapnel
Trading innocence for permanent psychotic hell
Hearing voices from miles away
Saying things never said
Seeing shadows in the light of the day
Waging a war inside my head
Bloodshed and warfare
Our mission was only to get in and kill
A free vacation
Of palm trees and shrapnel
Trading innocence for permanent psychotic hell
Hearing voices from miles away
Saying things never said
Seeing shadows in the light of the day
Waging a war inside my head
— Dream Theater, "War Inside my Head"
Now that the war is through with me,
I'm waking up, I cannot see.
That there is not much left of me.
Nothing is real but pain now.
I'm waking up, I cannot see.
That there is not much left of me.
Nothing is real but pain now.
— Metallica, "One"
Too many puppies, are just like me.
Too many puppies, are afraid to see,
The visions of the past brought to life again.
Too many puppies, too many dead men!
Too many puppies, are afraid to see,
The visions of the past brought to life again.
Too many puppies, too many dead men!
— Primus, "Too Many Puppies"
I envy the nine lives that gave me hell
My path made up by their torn bodies
Man to man, soldier to soldier, dust to dust
Call me a coward, but I can't take it any more!
My path made up by their torn bodies
Man to man, soldier to soldier, dust to dust
Call me a coward, but I can't take it any more!
— Nightwish, "Tenth Man Down"
Poetry
These are men whose minds the Dead have ravished.
Memory fingers in their hair of murders,
Multitudinous murders they once witnessed.
Wading sloughs of flesh these helpless wander,
Treading blood from lungs that had loved laughter.
Always they must see these things and hear them,
Batter of guns and shatter of flying muscles,
Carnage incomparable and human squander
Rucked too thick for these men's extrication.
Memory fingers in their hair of murders,
Multitudinous murders they once witnessed.
Wading sloughs of flesh these helpless wander,
Treading blood from lungs that had loved laughter.
Always they must see these things and hear them,
Batter of guns and shatter of flying muscles,
Carnage incomparable and human squander
Rucked too thick for these men's extrication.
— Wilfred Owen, "Mental Cases"
from passing by the roses strewn
at the feet of the fallen and feeling
the names of the dead on the cold, wet
stone, there became a certain
satisfaction in breathing
and even more in realizing we still could.
at the feet of the fallen and feeling
the names of the dead on the cold, wet
stone, there became a certain
satisfaction in breathing
and even more in realizing we still could.
— sound-dispute, "Vietnam"
Do they matter — those dreams in the pit?
You can drink and forget and be glad,
And people won't say that you’re mad;
For they know that you've fought for your country,
And no one will worry a bit.
You can drink and forget and be glad,
And people won't say that you’re mad;
For they know that you've fought for your country,
And no one will worry a bit.
I realize: I am not answerable for
The fate of those who perished in the war,
For every younger pal or senior vet
Left yonder; nor is anybody saying
That I could save them, but fell short of saving,
No one says that, and yet, and yet, and yet...
The fate of those who perished in the war,
For every younger pal or senior vet
Left yonder; nor is anybody saying
That I could save them, but fell short of saving,
No one says that, and yet, and yet, and yet...
— A. Twardowski, "And yet..."
Video Games
"The people I killed...they're not comin' back, Leo. What's left for ME!?"
— Maximilian, Anarchy Reigns
"My granddaughter...She was done in by those damn zombies...When I heard her scream...I just lost it...Everything went white suddenly...The war...it wasn't over...not for me...it...never...ended..."
— Cliff Hudson, Dead Rising
"Their fires lit up the night. All across Lake Rumare, like stars come to earth. It was beautiful, really.
I had a medal. It had someone's face on it. I threw it away, after. It didn't help.
I finally understand what it all means. What its all for. The killing. And the dying."
I had a medal. It had someone's face on it. I threw it away, after. It didn't help.
I finally understand what it all means. What its all for. The killing. And the dying."
— Salvianus, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Soldier: You know, Captain, we drove through this whole city to find you. We... we saw things. If you don't mind me asking, what was it like? How did you survive all this?
Walker: ...Who said I did?
Walker: ...Who said I did?
"The winter after the curse was lifted, hundreds of veteran orcs like me were lost to despair. Our minds were finally free, yes... Free to relive all of the unthinkable acts that we had performed under the Legion's influence. I think it was the sounds of the draenei children that unnerved most of them... You never forget... Have you ever been to Jaggedswine Farm? When the swine are of age for the slaughter... It's that sound. The sound of the swine being killed... It resonates the loudest. Those are hard times for us older veterans."
— Varok Saurfang, World of Warcraft
"Killing soldiers wasn't so bad. I hardly remember it.
But burning those villages, watching those naked peasants cry...
I see it every day. It's not PTSD, it's the drug.
It's only been a week, but it feels like a year.
Every word is getting longer, the mosquitoes are getting louder.
When the drug runs out, time stops, and you're stuck in the jungle forever.
It's... grains of sand in a shrinking hour glass.
I know what comes next.... I need to ask you a favor."
But burning those villages, watching those naked peasants cry...
I see it every day. It's not PTSD, it's the drug.
It's only been a week, but it feels like a year.
Every word is getting longer, the mosquitoes are getting louder.
When the drug runs out, time stops, and you're stuck in the jungle forever.
It's... grains of sand in a shrinking hour glass.
I know what comes next.... I need to ask you a favor."
— Subject Zero, Katana ZERO
"They say the mind bends and twists in order to deal with the horrors of life... I think my mind bent so much it snapped in two."
— Mr. Grimm, Twisted Metal: Black
Web Animation
Yuthura Ban: Then the Mandalorians attacked and my father joined Revan. We never saw him again.
Logan Starr: He didn't come home?
Yuthura Ban: Someone did. Someone who had his face, but it wasn't my father. He had seen things, horrible things. He was at Malachor, but when Revan and Malak disappeared, he didn't go with them. He came home. At first I thought it was so he could be with my mother and I. I realize now he was trying to hide. Not from the Jedi, mind you. He was hiding from himself, from the things he'd done in the war. It was these atrocities that he remembered, haunted his dreams. He'd wake up in the night, his arm outstretched, the room turned over. At first it was just a few objects flying around, but then his senses would discover the other person in the room. My mother. He started to choke her through the Force and wouldn't stop. When I tried to stop him, I was the enemy too. I was another Mandalorian to be crushed.
Logan Starr: He didn't come home?
Yuthura Ban: Someone did. Someone who had his face, but it wasn't my father. He had seen things, horrible things. He was at Malachor, but when Revan and Malak disappeared, he didn't go with them. He came home. At first I thought it was so he could be with my mother and I. I realize now he was trying to hide. Not from the Jedi, mind you. He was hiding from himself, from the things he'd done in the war. It was these atrocities that he remembered, haunted his dreams. He'd wake up in the night, his arm outstretched, the room turned over. At first it was just a few objects flying around, but then his senses would discover the other person in the room. My mother. He started to choke her through the Force and wouldn't stop. When I tried to stop him, I was the enemy too. I was another Mandalorian to be crushed.
Web Video
The Chief: Is it possible that you were living out a war flashback, Sarge?
Sarge: Aye.
The Chief: Let's go ahead and say that's what happened.
Sarge: It would explain a lot.
Sarge: Aye.
The Chief: Let's go ahead and say that's what happened.
Sarge: It would explain a lot.
Western Animation
"It's not that I don't want to remember. I have to remember... for those who can't."
— Ratchet, Transformers: Animated
"Lately I've been thinking about all the people I've had to kill. God, the first five, ten times you take a life it's eerie, you remember every detail. I can see all their faces, one had a beard. Each time I pulled the trigger I tied a little knot in my memory that no amount of whisky could loosen. Course, eventually I stopped caring, now I can put a bullet through a man's head while thinking about how much KFC to pick up on my way home. It's usually no more than a bucket. The sick part is I've come to love it, snuffing out lives, I crave it! I feel like an angel of death, the messenger of eternal darkness, a merciless demon with an unquenchable th— oh, they just put more orange chicken in the buffet, gotta run."
— Stan Smith, American Dad!
Mariner: Then, before I knew it, the Vorta, the Jem'Hadar...
Ma'ah: The Jem'Hadar? You fought the Dominion? Ah, the shapeshifters sent many warriors to Sto-vo-kor. I wish I could've seen it.
Mariner: No, you do not. There was no honor, just massacres.
Ma'ah: But in the end, you were victorious!
Mariner: Starfleet is supposed to be about puzzling together the mysteries of life, not fighting wars! I don't wanna be a general! I don't... I don't wanna send my friends off to die! I just wanna be an ensign. If it was good enough for Sito, then it's good enough for me.
Ma'ah: The Jem'Hadar? You fought the Dominion? Ah, the shapeshifters sent many warriors to Sto-vo-kor. I wish I could've seen it.
Mariner: No, you do not. There was no honor, just massacres.
Ma'ah: But in the end, you were victorious!
Mariner: Starfleet is supposed to be about puzzling together the mysteries of life, not fighting wars! I don't wanna be a general! I don't... I don't wanna send my friends off to die! I just wanna be an ensign. If it was good enough for Sito, then it's good enough for me.
"I think I've seen the world almost end so many times now that everything that goes wrong feels that... that extreme. I should be feeling so good these days! The Earth is safe, i-it's Era 3... but I'm— I'm swelling up over these Third-Era problems. What do I do? How do I move on from all the stuff I've been through? How do I live life if it always feels like I'm about to die?"
— Steven Universe, Steven Universe: Future
"It is the external wounds which heal the quickest."
— Optimus Prime, Transformers: Prime
