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Quotes / Shady Oaks SMP

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Note: "<Player>" indicates that the message was typed in the in-game chat.

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"Welcome to Shady Oaks, the best place to put your feet up!"
Squid in his high-pitched "receptionist" voice

"Snitches get stitches."
—A common catchphrase (or at least some variation of it) on the server to discourage the stream chat from telling fellow streamers what is happening on someone's stream

"So we live life like a video.
When the sun is always out and you never get old."
The server description on the world selection screen

    The Kindness Arc 

The First Stream

Dan: I feel bad.
[Squid and James laughing in the background]
Justin: No, you don't.
—In response to Justin's microphone failing

[Angry enderman screeching]
—Reactions to Squid hitting an enderman

In-game chat: DanTDM was poked to death by a sweet berry bush
Dan: Guys, don't look at the chat, nothing happened.
—Dan gets killed in a highly embarrassing way

"Why have I got a sword called Kindness?"
James finding Kindness

"How do you make torches again?"
James hasn't played Minecraft in so long that he forgot

Dan: Where are you?
Squid: To the left of the medbay.
[James or Justin?], whispering: The medbay...
[James or Justin?], correcting Squid: The pharmacy.
Squid: The pharmacy.
[Everyone laughs for a bit.]
Dan: There are no vents in there.
—The boys have been playing too much Among Us recently

"Sorry, but you can’t PvP here."
In-game chat, in response to Squid trying to test out Kindness on Justin

The Gamble Stream

In-game chat: DanTDM tried to swim in lava
Dan: [throws off his headphones and leaves]
<DanTDM> ...
—Dan having another Epic Fail moment which ends in death

Squid's Birthday Stream

"Guys... it's— it's a girl."
ThnxCya's first reaction to Cupquake joining the server

Cupquake: I'm thinking of opening a bakery, do you guys—?
Squid: Ooh...
Dan: Oh— yes, you can stay, you can stay.
Justin: Yeah.
[Everyone bursts into laughter.]
—The boys are starving

In-Between Streams/Episodes

"I was an E-boy before it was cool."
Dan on voice-acting his character in Ralph Breaks the Internet

New Member and Big Deal Stream

"Hello! Welcome to Shady Oaks, the best place to put your feet up, blah blah blah blah blah, stuff over there, stuff over there. [reverts back to his normal voice] Okay, that's it, I'm going."
Squid introducing Big B to Shady Oaks

Squid: We have elevator here.
Big B: Why do I feel like this is a trap? I'm sorry.
[Everyone laughs.]
Justin: He's learning!
Big B: Can someone else tell me that's an elevator?
Justin: Alright [...] This is real, this is real. [presses elevator button to teleport to the upper floor]
Squid: This is microwave.
—Never trust Squid

"There once was a man from Nantucket..."
Justin, trying and failing to do impromptu poetry

"KILL whoever has KINDNESS, bring it back to me."
—Squid's restricted quest

In-game chat: ThnxCya left the game
In-game chat: [RealThinknoodles: Kicked ThnxCya: for not sleeping]
<RealThinknoodles> oops
—Sleep or die

In-Between Streams/Episodes

"And it's kind of funny because the sword is called 'Kindness', but it's brought [...] no kind of kindness to the server, it's b-brought betrayal, it's brought deceit, it's brought tensions... all for this stupid sword."
James lampshading Kindness' Ironic Name, "Introducing HONEY CO. FARMS!"

The Curse Stream

Dan: A'rite, James, c'mere, I need to— I need to tell you something.
James: Uh? [approaches Dan]
Dan: I'm sorry I have to do this. I'm real sorry. I, uh— [starts swinging his iron sword at James]
James: Whoa… whoa, waitwaitwaitwait, w—
Dan: I have to do it! I have to do it!
James: Dan! Stop! Stop!
Dan: You have to— you have to— [kills James]
In-game chat: ThnxCya was slain by DanTDM
James: Dan, are you kidding? What?!
Dan: You have to go.
James: Dan, I got Kindness on me!
Dan: Oh— [quickly picks up Kindness and the rest of James' inventory and enchants Kindness with the Curse of Vanishing on his anvil]
James: No!
Dan: Bye, James! I'm sorry! [hops on Love Child the horse]
James: No!
Dan: James, I'm sorry! Bye!
—The restricted quest and the revenge plot are carried out simultaneously

"You gave it back to James… but with… with some kind of deal?" [Squid affirms the statement.] "And you didn't even pull through on the deal!"
Dan calling out Squid

Squid: Why do you want rid of the sword so bad?
James: The sword— the sword brings nothing but bad vibes, it's a cursed sword.
Squid: It's Cursed now, now you've Cursed it— it was a lovely sword, it was shiny, it was pure—
James: It was always cursed. The sword came between us all.
Dan: As soon as you touched that sword, Squid, as soon as you— you felt its power, you changed, buddy, you changed.
Squid: So—
Dan: Look at your arm, bro, look at it! What happened?
—How Kindness is a cursed sword

Squid: Banned. Banned. Banned, my friend. You got some serious butt-kissing to do.
Dan: Ey, come here. Don't talk about butts around me, please.
Squid: This- this- You have to— you have to— you have to make it up to me, mate. Big time.
Dan: Hey, I got— Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, I got you that sword back. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have the sword.
Squid: It's wrecked. I could have got the sword by myself but I trusted you as a fellow friend, to bring me the sword back in one piece, but you failed.
Dan: It's in one piece! It's in one piece.
Squid: It's cursed, my friend. It's damaged. Like our friendship.

<iBallistiicSquid> what do you mean we should follow the compass?
<DanTDM> wut?
<DanTDM> what compass?
<iBallistiicSquid> please leave us, we have seen the vision
<iBallistiicSquid> follow it you say, retrieve the next piece…
—Squid being possessed by Kindness

Post-Curse Stream

"Squid… you need to find the next piece… but you are too weak. Find someone else. Find someone… to do it."
Kindness to Squid

James: Wait, I'm so confused, right— you know you spent, like, 25 minutes bashing Justin's building skills and now you want his help on a chicken farm?
Justin: Yeah, 'cause I know how to do redstone—
Squid: I— I bash him but I like the guy, you know— [...] That's what you do to friends, right? Bit of friendly banter?
—Squid and Justin being Vitriolic Best Buds

"'What's your favourite number on the ronebrow— rainbow?' Uh, toast."
Dan answering a very unorthodox question from his chat

"Yeah, exactly. We were saying, basically, 'cause the thing is, like, genuinely, having Kindness is this weird but— I can't explain it until you've had Kindness, but it's stressful. It's stressful. I didn't bring it 'round anywhere with me, I had to hide it, I was worried about it — I was worried someone was gonna take it... It puts this pressure on you, and I was just— I wanted to get rid of it. 'Cause I think it's bad vibes."
James on owning Kindness

"Revenge… is coming."
—Squid being possessed by Kindness, just before they go on their Roaring Rampage of Revenge

Justin: […] Wait, he's— he's not attacking you.
Squid: Guys?
Dan: What's go— bro.
Justin: What?
Squid: Help me!
Dan: Do I need a… splash potion?
Justin: Do you need some— Do you need some… apples? [passes Squid an apple]
Squid: Uhhhhh…
Justin: Have these sweet berries— [passes Squid some sweet berries] Oh yeah, those are gonna be rare soon…
Kindness (through Squid): [incomprehensible growling]
[Justin and Dan run away.]
—Squid briefly breaks free from Kindness' Demonic Possession

"A new piece of netherite has been found."
—Squid being possessed by Kindness

Kindness (through Squid): Danny boy.
Dan: Yeah?
Kindness (through Squid): For what you have done to me... revenge.
In-game chat: DanTDM was slain by iBallistiicSquid using [Kindness]
—Squid and Kindness take revenge for the Curse of Vanishing

<iBallistiicSquid> help me
In-game chat: iBallistiicSquid left the game
—Squid ends his stream

In-Between Streams

The Hunt for Netherite Stream

"Do you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of when you go close to a kraken on—"
James before being killed by Justin

"I'm literally— yeah, I'm gonna die."
Dan before being chased off a ledge by Justin

Squid: I feel like Justin's going... trying to get the next piece.
Dan: O—kay?
James: ...alright?
Squid: And... so... okay. There was a compass that I gave him, but the compass wouldn't work until he proved himself evil and... I think he's just killed you to [starts laughing] prove that he's evil... [cracks up]
Dan: To prove he's evil. We were just sacrificed to the gods.
Squid: I think— I think the compass wi— I think the compass will work for him now. I think he might be going to get the i— the second piece.
Dan: Is that— is that why he didn't kill you?
Squid: [Beat] Maybe.
—Why Justin went on his killing spree

Dan: So, I knew— I knew Squid had something to do with this. I knew it.
James: So, Squid said that— yeah, but he said that Justin had to, what? Prove himself as, like, a bad boy—
Dan: [laughs] Yeah...
James: 'Cause if there's anything Justin is, he's not really, you know, a mad lad, is he?
Dan: No, not until today.
James: So— not until today, and then he's around [...] in his underpants, giving everyone a show; and then all of a sudden, bang, I'm dead, you're dead!
—James on Justin's Face–Heel Turn

    The Unearthing Revenge Arc 

The Secret Project Stream

Squid: Now, so far, on the two-three weeks that we've been on the server, there has been two that have been found.
Dan: Wait, WHAT?!
Dan: So, there is a Curse on the current netherite sword— I don't- really know what happened, but there's a Curse of Vanishing on it, so...
Dan: Yeah, I'm not really sure... uh, maybe Squid's future video, we'll find out.
[Ecko quietly laughs in the background.]
—Dan breaks the Fourth Wall

The Slice of Life Stream

"Please forgive me, pigman, for I have sinned."
Cupquake after accidentally hitting a zombified piglin with an arrow

The Chaos Stream

"Good luck with the pick, buddy. You're not gonna have it for long."
Squid to Justin on Unearthing Revenge, overheard by Dan


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