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Quotes / Self-Serving Memory

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Metis: Yeah...our first meeting went pretty well, all things considered.
Aigis: ...But you have never been to high—
Aigis: ...No it was n—
"I have done that", says my memory. "I cannot have done that" — says my pride, and remains adamant. At last — memory yields."
Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

Darkseid: I'm more powerful than I've ever been, and the last time we met, you barely managed to hold your own.
Superman: Funny, that's not how I remember it.
Darkseid: Allow me to refresh your memory.
Justice League Unlimited, "Destroyer"

"Yes, I believe that you believe you helped write that joke. That's how people like you work! Your ego is so out of whack that it will do whatever it can to protect itself. And people with a messed up ego can do these mental gymnastics to convince themselves they're awesome, when really, they're just douchebags!"
Kyle telling Cartman off about his memory, South Park, "Fishsticks" note 

Loki: Well, I convinced your precious Dr. Selvig to work on the Tesseract and, no thanks to you, I did climb out of that galactic abyss you threw me into—

"Memory can change the shape of a room. It can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation. They're not a record."
Lenny, Memento

"The reader may notice that there are significant differences between what is written and what actually happened. This may be due to Captain Arsenio's unflagging optimism (or the many bumps on the head that he suffered from his experiments)."
Note on the bottom of Pages 14-15, Captain Arsenio: Inventions and (Mis)Adventures In Flight

Sarge: Simmons, execute the hypotenuse initiative, and delete the Blues.
Simmons: (presses a switch) Done! The Blues now never existed. I also upgraded your pay scale while I was at it.
Sarge: Well deserved.
Grif: Yeah, we win!
Grif: Blarg! I am dead, but that’s okay, I don’t deserve to enjoy victory. My life has meant nothing.
Sarge: What a great day! Simmons, transform into Motorcycle Mode.
Simmons: [monotone] You got it, sir. (begins changing into a Mongoose) Choop choop choop choop choop! Beep beep!
Sarge: Let’s get out of here. (hops on Mongoose-Simmons and drives outside) Yee-haw!
[End flashback].
Grif: That’s not what happened!
Grif: Then how am I still alive?
Sarge: I ask myself that question every day. (Beat) Moto-Simmons! Run him over.
Sarge's memory of deleting all records of the Blues, Red vs. Blue

"Well, look who it is. I haven't seen you for, how long has it been? Let's see, there was an asylum, some monsters, and oh that's right! You left me to die. Now you probably don't remember it that way, but who cares?"

Spider-Man: I remember you, Carl. Not quite the same way you do. You think the kids at school liked you? You think they liked that you picked on kids like me? You were pathetic, Carl! You didn't know how to make friends! You were terrified of girls! All you knew was cruelty and fear, and making people nervous to get yourself attention! And look how far you've come, Carl! You're just the same old sadist you always were!
Thousand: Liar! That's not how it was at all! You take that back, you hear?!
'Spider-Man's Tangled Web

Being X: From your own mouth, you said that someone from your society would have no need for God. That if you suffered, you might repent and find your faith in your creator at last.
Tanya: I remember that conversation very differently.


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