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Quotes / "Seinfeld" Is Unfunny

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"A joke is never as funny the second time you hear it."
Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes

"The world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment, pally. One of these days everybody's gonna wake up with a heck of a hangover, down two aspirin and a glass of tomato juice and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about."
Dean Martin, The Rat Pack (1998 film)

"It's not who does it first, it's who does it second."

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them."

"Flaubert established for good or ill, what most readers think of as modern realist narration, and his influence is almost too familiar to be visible."
James Wood, How Fiction Works (on Madame Bovary)

"Coming up next on E4: Friends — The One Where You Realise That It's Not As Funny As It Used To Be."
Things You Won't Hear When Flicking Through Satellite TV, Mock the Week's Funniest Book of All Time 2011

"Thing is, though, that it was such a defining soundscape of its era that it sounds terribly dated these days, and the John Landis video for the title track is positively painful to watch at this point."
J. Eric Smith on Thriller

"NIN was a much bigger draw than Bowie, but because Trent Reznor is not a disrespectful prick, he rightly allowed Bowie a slightly more exalted position on the bill. Here's the deal, though. The overwhelming majority of the coliseum was there to see NIN. The audience was awash with 14-year-old girls in torn fishnets and black lipstick. Even though they probably went off to college, broadened their musical horizons, and became Bowie fans (considering what a huge NIN influence he is), on that night, they were not. ...When Trent left the stage, so did half the audience, some of them crying that they didn't get enough Trent. Bowie "ruined the show" for them. (That's an actual quote from some girl I overheard in the parking lot — moments before I strangled her to death.)"

"Some people look at the quality of these early episodes and complain that today's animated upstarts aren't being given enough time to get their groove going before they get the ax. The error in that logic is that it doesn't apply to The Simpsons. I was there, and I remember the show being a massive hit out of the gate. It was Fox's first show to break the Nielsen Top 30. These 13 eps were all there was for months and millions kept tuning into the repeats. People loved these badly-drawn, out-of-character, seldom-side-splitting adventures just as much as they loved later, better seasons."
Peter Paltridge, "The Lost Art of TV Guide Advertising Vol 10: The Simpsons"

"Enterprise was a clone of Voyager, which is bad enough. But Voyager itself was already a clone of The Next Generation. So by the time you get to Enterprise, you're watching a copy of a copy of a copy. And much like any Nth-generation VHS dub of a bootleg movie, when everything is said and done, all you're left with is indistinct static."
The Agony Booth's recap of "A Night in Sickbay"

"Deus Ex is one of those games where everyone who liked it is now incredibly familiar with the first hour of it; because occasionally they get a urge to give it a replay, and it won't be long before they think to themself: 'Blimey, I don't remember it looking quite this much like ass!'"
Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation

"So Mad Max, or, as it's called in its native land, 'Med Mex', finally rolls into Video Game Town... only to find that the industry is way ahead of it and we've already played what might as well have been the Mad Max video game about seventeen times already by my count, between Borderlands, Rage, Carmageddon, the entire Fallout franchise and, to a lesser extent, Mario Kart."

'"It’s not bad, certainly — the story of the Super Nintendo is in part the story of the death of the side-scrolling platformer, but it’s one of those deaths via last golden age, and even the b-list is pretty good. But it does not sparkle."

"But all of those cracks are only visible because for forty-five years one of the basic mandates of Doctor Who has been "Take The Tenth Planet and do it again with more modern sensibilities." Which is, not that The Tenth Planet is as good as Hamlet, kind of like saying Hamlet is rubbish because The Lion King has better songs."

"A lot of people were apparently surprised by how childish and pun-based the writing was. To them I say, again... all the Rankin/Bass specials they love are the same way!"
Peter Paltridge, Platypus Comix review of A Miser Brothers Christmas

"That's one of the weird parts about what's called originality. It doesn't look original unless you look at the time stamp."

"John Carter has been ripped off so many times by so many important filmmakers that it paradoxically can’t help but feel weirdly derivative of films (inspired by its source material) that hit screens decades before John Carter bombed. In the century-long lag time between the literary introduction of John Carter and this cinematic adaptation, many of Burroughs’ innovations became groan-inducing clichés. Like H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, Burroughs was prescient and visionary, yet today looks more than a little old-fashioned."

"The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark."

My cartoons weren't good. They were just first.

''All the talentless impersonators and appalling black velvet paintings on display can make him seem little more than a perverse and distant memory. But before Elvis was camp, he was its opposite: a genuine cultural force. ... Elvis's breakthroughs are underappreciated because in this rock-and-roll age, his hard-rocking music and sultry style have triumphed so completely."
New York Times

Flawed, maybe so
Sure it sucked a tad
but it's all we had

"Shenmue is a unique experience and a piece of gaming history, but it's also probably the single greatest example of how willing gamers are to overlook solid game design in favor of impressive technology. It isn't a fun game, but it is funny."

It was definitely a huge thing for its time and it's a great thing to just break some barriers and stuff, but it's not all that good of a movie.

Though, in my defense, there wasn't a spriting community around yet to tell me not to do these things. Besides, most of the things you're not supposed to do in a sprite comic are there because I did them first and everyone got tired of others doing exactly the same things.
David Anez, author of Bob and George

Back when the comics were printed large enough that they could accommodate detailed, elaborate drawings, "Peanuts" was launched with an insultingly tiny format, designed so the panels could be stacked vertically if an editor wanted to run it in a single column. Schulz somehow turned this oppressive space restriction to his advantage, and developed a brilliant graphic shorthand and stylistic economy, innovations unrecognizable now that all comics are tiny and Schulz's solutions have been universally imitated.
Bill Watterson, reflecting on Peanuts shortly before it ended

"Toy Story is the worst looking Pixar film from a technical standpoint. I'm sorry, but it just is. The human character models are Uncanny Valley, the textures are outdated, and... just look at that dog. Ew. And yet, despite all of this, I cannot believe that the first feature length CGI film looks this good, it is unbelievable. You can kind of imagine an alternate universe where the first CGI movie comes out, and it looks kinda weird and rough and experimental, like something like Foodfight!, and everyone says: "Oh that movie? It was okay, considering they didn't know what they were doing yet." But no. We live in a world where the first one of these was frickin' Toy Story. That's pretty cool!"

There’s certainly no arguing the titanic influence of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club was the Citizen Kane of music. Like Citizen Kane, though, it changed everything that came after it so fundamentally, that when you go back to the source with modern eyes, you often find yourself wondering “What was the big deal?”...A concept album like The Dark Side of the Moon never could have existed without The Beatles having blazed the trail with Sgt. Pepper. So that means we have to pick Sgt. Pepper here, right? No, not necessarily. Let’s take a more reductive view of origins vs outcomes: The Jazz Singer was the first movie released with sound embedded on its film...the first feature film to use three-strip color was Becky Sharp. Does that make The Jazz Singer the greatest “talkie” ever and Becky Sharp the greatest color film ever? No. Pioneers are important, but they aren’t necessarily the pinnacle of their craft, and more often than not, probably aren’t. And I think that’s the case in this contest: The Dark Side of the Moon owes a great debt to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but its scope, its execution, its material and its overall, lasting effect strikes me as greater and more powerful than its precursor.
J. Eric Smith, Best of the Blockbusters: The Greatest (Popular) Record Ever; Round 4: The Beatles, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band vs. Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon (2005)

The pitfall of being a self-styled innovator is that your breakthroughs usually don’t seem special to subsequent audiences who come to take those accomplishments for granted.

"I started watching a lot of previously lost 1930s rubber hose cartoons: Fleischer Talkartoons, Lantz Oswalds, Ub Iwerks, and Terrytoons. For decades these cartoons have been derided by cartoon historians and even some of the animators themselves. These cartoons have attributes that far surpass their seeming limitations. They were extremely inventive and the animators were encouraged to do what comes naturally to cartoonists and animators. They were allowed to draw and animate in their own individual styles. In the early 1930s, there were no set bible of rules for how to animate. The medium was too young."
John Kricfalusi defending early 1930's cartoons

“The water is muddied nowadays because there’s a disconnect between ‘cutting edge’ studio technique and conservative musical form,” he begins. “Producers learn tricks from adventurous bands or develop new techniques for them, but their next ‘gig’ is with some bland pop diva and they simply port over the techniques they’ve learned working with interesting artists. The result over time is that strange and unusual sounds and production processes are now ten a penny, splattered across fairly dull songs."

Bart: Lisa, that [The Raven] wasn't scary. Not even for a poem.
Lisa: Well, it was written in 1845. Maybe people were easier to scare back then.
Bart: Oh yeah! Like when you look at Friday the 13th Part 1. It's pretty tame by today's standards.

Important doesn't mean good.
Greg, Nick Knacks

"Team 8's largest problem is that it is Team 8 and the fanfiction zeitgeist has moved on from it. In essence it has spawned a host of imitators, and copy cats who both not only worked with the original idea in place, but generally did it in such a way as to highlight the flaws of the original concept in the first place. The problem with being Seinfeld is that eventually people don't get why you're funny anymore, and start struggling to remember why you're funny in the first place. All the things you've done have been used and played with so many times that it's trite, and even if you do it's kind of meh."


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