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Quotes / Screwed by the Lawyers

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For a while there was also a very popular Web site set up by college students wishing to determine what happens to Twinkies when they are heated with torches, dropped from tall buildings, etc., but when I tried to check it out, it had been closed down by lawyers. Perhaps by the time you read this book, it will be back in operation again. Or perhaps the entire Internet will have been closed down by lawyers. Or perhaps college students will have started dropping lawyers from tall buildings. You never know with the future.
Dave Barry in Cyberspace

Your face look like Patrick, video go down.
— Joke about obsessive copyright takedowns in the Youtube Poop community.

Narrator: (Gasp) Uh-Oh, Uploading someone else's content without their permission could get you into serious trouble. It maybe, COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! Copyright is a protection form of art. It includes music, audio, art and video works. Copyright Infringement occurs when a copyrighted work is reproduced, or publicly displayed without their permission, Or the legal right to do so. Even though Youtube is a free video sharing site, You can still get into serious trouble for Copyright Infringement. You can get sued. (A Gavel hits Russel's head) And found liability for monetary damages. You could lose your booties (Russel's pile of goal disappears), Or even worse: You could lose your Youtube account. (Russel's laptop magically vanished) You only get a few chances. If Youtube receives a valid notification of a Copyright infringement from one of the Copyright holder of the video, Your video will blocked according to the law. (Video gets replaced by a static screen and the red sad face with the caption: "ERROR!: This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Lumpy. Sorry about that.") You will be notify via Email and in your account, And you'll get a strike (Russel screams when he got a Copyright strike). If you get three strikes, You could be banned from Youtube. And you may be sent to jail by the FBI for the rest of your life due to Copyright Infringement. Here is an idea: Why not create your own Youtube video?
— From the Youtube video: Happy Tree Friends: Youtube Copyright Lawsuit School. It appears when a user gets copyright strike and has been forced to watch it and take trivia questions about copyright.

The Lawyer (Marc Evan Jackson): HEY! STOP THE AUDIO! SHUT IT DOWN, NOW!
The Wood Carver (Nick Offerman): But why, Who the hell are you?!?
The Lawyer (Marc Evan Jackson): I am an intellectual property attorney and you have stolen my client's melody.
— The copyright censorship parody scene from the movie: Nick Offerman: The American Ham.

John Stossel: I would try to use some background music on this show, But sometimes I have been told "YOU CAN'T USE THAT, YOU DON'T THE RIGHTS!"
— From the Nighttime with Stossel episode on The Copyright War.

Norman Caruso: Unfortunately, we will never be able to see Doki Doki Panic release on the Wii U or 3DS Virtual Console. Because Fuji Television holds the rights to the characters, while the rest of them are Nintendo.
—From The Gaming Historian episode on the mystery of the Japanese-only Original Super Mario Bros. 2 (AKA The Lost Levels).

Announcer: Time Warner Cable has dropped your favorite channels and shows.
Announcer: That means, no Nickelodeon...
Announcer: No MTV...
Lauren Conrad: I'm really really upset right now.
Announcer: No Comedy Central...
Stephen Colbert: Ooh, that makes me so ANGRY!
Announcer: No VH1, no Spike TV, no Noggin, and no TV Land! You lost nineteen of your favorite channels.
Announcer: Call Time Warner Cable now, and say...
SpongeBob: No!
Lauren: NO!
Colbert: NOOOOOO!
Cartman: *NOOOOOO!*
Announcer: Demand that they put those channels back on the air. Call us at (1-800)-892-4357.
2008 television ad on Viacom's disputes with Time Warner Cable

Carol Costello: If you want to start your New Year's eve by watching The Daily Show with Jonathan Stewart, It may not be very easy if you have Time Warner Cable.
Katrina Pierson: Yeah, Look at how serious Viacom is. Yeah, I went Christmas shopping and I found this poster ad on the directory map in the mall, And the message reads "Why are Dora and Boots crying over?" and they are referring to the popular preschooler show: Dora the Explorer.
Carol Costello: Yeah, I am very sure my children will be crying if the show gets taken off.
Katrina Pierson: And my 2 year olds are going to be shocked without Dora and Diego. Well, Anyways, Here is the story about the contract. You see, Time Warner Cable's contract to carry Viacom's networks, including Nickelodeon, as well as MTV, Comedy Central, Showtime, CBS, and many others expires on December 31st. And they said, If they can't negotiate with them, Viacom will pull their channels, and their on demand programs off of Time Warner Cable's local system.
HLN report on Viacom having negotiation problems with Time Warner Cable mentioned above.

Angry Joe after his Mario Kart 8 walkthrough is struck with a copyright claim.

If people are watching this video, they already know. Since the only time most people watch this is when they got hit with a copyright strike and they don't already have the knowledge to begin with.


Example of: