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Quotes / Screw Yourself

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"MY OWN CLONE!"
"NOW NEITHER OF US WILL BE VIRGINS!"

The Doctor: [to an immortal time traveller] You might be out there, somewhere.
Captain Jack: I could go meet myself.
The Doctor: Well, he's the only man you're ever going to be happy with.

Amy: Do I really look like that?
Amy: Yeah, yeah you do.
Amy: Ooh, I'd give you a driving license...
Amy: Ooh, I bet you would.
The Doctor: Oh, this is how it all ends: Pond flirting with herself. True love at last... oh, sorry, Rory.
Rory: Absolutely no problem at all.

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Missy: Hold me!
The Master: Kiss me.
Missy: Make me.
The Doctor: Do you two wanna be alone? Which, in your case, would mean more than it usually does...

The Master: [pinned against a wall] By the way, is it wrong that I... [nods down]
Missy: [looks down] Yes. Very.
Doctor Who, "The Doctor Falls"

The Master is the ultimate narcissist. He actually fancies himself.

Oh, give me a clone
Of my own flesh and bone
With its Y-chromosome changed to X
And when it is grown
Then my own little clone
Will be of the opposite sex.

Clone, clone of my own,
With your Y-Chromosome changed to X
And when I'm alone
With my own little clone
We'll both think of nothing but sex

CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.
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CG: FUCK I MEAN
CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE
Karkat Vantas, Homestuck

"Of course I romance myself. I’ve always said, if I had to make out with my clone, I would."
Felicia Day, in an interview, on her in-game interactions with an Ink-Suit Actor version of herself, within Dragon Age II DLC

"I'm flirting with myself AGAIN!"

I would totally make out with my clone. If it was okay with her. No pressure.

"Is it weird to have a crush on your alternate reality self?"
Maz, SheZow

"He was sucking his own d—k - that's not offensive. That's a goal!"

"God, I miss having pert tits. Can I touch them?"
— Admiral Janeway to Captain Janeway, Entendre Game

"This isn't merely revolting, it's impossible to boot!"
Professor Farnsworth, Futurama, "Bender's Big Score"

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Aggressive Wonderella: What do we gotta do, SCREW each other 'till we stick together again?!
Passive Wonderella: I ain't gay, but I'll lay back.


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