Quotes / Saved by the Bell

"We don't see Zack's discovery of a discarded brick-phone in a storm drain, or Screech being bitten by a radioactive dickhead, or a homeroom roll-call of each character, with voice-over exposition of their trademark traits and crushes. And we don't need to, because it's unthinkable that a time could exist when Zack, Slater and co., and their various interpersonal foibles, weren't as much a part of our cultural database as Stairway to Heaven or the great flood. They went to Bayside, but we did too; all of us."

— Stuart Millard, So Excited, So Scared

Slater: Hey Jessie, you think Zack's up to something?

Jessie: He's awake, isn't he?

The Election

Zack: Remember my motto: "Whenever There's Trouble, That's Where I'll Be!" (grins and puts up two peace signs ala Richard Nixon)
Voiceover: Zack Morris. Why The Heck Not?

The Election

Screech: Now, should I go as Bart Simpson and shave my head or as Al Bundy and shave my back?
Lisa: Why don't you go as Barf Bundy and put your head in a bag?

The Break Up

Mr. Dickerson: You think you're smart, you think you're hip, put your books away, 'cause there's no class trip!

The Fabulous Belding Boys

Jessie: I'm so excited! I'm so excited!! I'm so...scared!!

Jessie's Song

Mr. Belding: Hey-hey-HEY! What is going on here?!

Multiple episodes (No Hope With Dope, The Fabulous Belding Boys, Earthquake!, etc.)

Mr. Belding: Screech, you can't elope!
Screech: Who are ya calling a cantaloupe, you melonhead?

Beauty and the Screech

Slater: Hey, it's like my Uncle Charlie said, women are like vines. If you fall one, hey, you can always swing with another.
Jessie: You know, you are not just a pig; you are a gorilla-pig.

The Aftermath

Screech: Zack, I have terrible news!
Zack: You found out ALF is a puppet?
Screech: (horrified) He is?!

Cream For a Day

Zack: We gotta come up with a way to make money!
Slater: I could charge lonely girls five cents to watch me flex my muscles.
Jessie: You Know What They Say: big muscles, small brain.

Rent-a-Pop

Kelly: I think I'm gonna cry.

Multiple episodes (The Substitute, The Prom, The Fabulous Belding Boys)

Screech: The last time you had a great idea, Zack, I ended up naked on a bus!
Zack: Hey, you had a window seat!

Blind Dates

Principal Stingwell: And coming in dead last for the worst prank is...(whispering to Zack)...what did you say your name was again, son?
Zack: (whispering) Zack Morris.
Principal Stingwell: Thanks...Jack Norris from Bayside!

Save That Tiger

(as Slater begins to sneeze and "dance" around scratching himself because Zack put pepper underneath his nose and poured ants down his back)
Study hall teacher: Hey, this is study hall, not Soul Train!

Aloha Slater