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Quotes / Said Bookism

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[Pastorek's] characters snap, say impatiently, coo, snap, inform crisply, say softly, address, say with a sigh, blurt rudely, reply gruffly, sooth, assure, inform, remind suspiciously, tell indignantly, agree, demand in a dismayed whisper, reply grimly, inform matter-of-factly, say surprisedly, say with a sigh, inquire gruffly, protest, inform brusquely, say in a controlled tone, accuse, respond, call, exclaim, ask, inform, declare, and add. In the first chapter alone.

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"If you make that kid the Chosen Hero, you can totally bypass any other character development!"

"I'm exclaiming," he exclaimed. And that's when he knew that he was in a shitty novel.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.
"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared.

I don’t care what your English teacher told you, Tara, “said” works just fine.
The Half-World's MST of the above quote

Unskilled writers use "said" and "asked".
Amateur writers use "whispered", "shouted" and "questioned"
Skilled writers use "demonstrated", "ejaculated", "murmured", "explained", "queried" and "demanded"
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Masterful writers use "said" and "asked".
—Unknown

We would never ever say, "Snape scathed" — we would say, "Snape said scathingly."
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