Comics Books
"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum. And one night, they decide they don't like living in the asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away into the moonlight. Stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend daren't make the leap. Y'see... y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then the first guy has an idea... He says, 'Hey, I have a flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk across the beam and join me!' But the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... he says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was halfway across!'"
Fan Works
You sound all indignant about that. But your boss did the wrong math and got the right answer anyway.
Lori Loud: Well, yeah, but aren't you... you know... Jewish?
Benny Stein: No. What makes you think I am?
Lori: Well, you... I mean, you kind of look Jewish.
Benny: Oh, really? What exactly does a Jew look like, in your mind?
Lori: I... um... what I mean is... N-never mind. Let's go back to the story.
Benny: Hey, Lori?
Lori: Yes?
Benny: I'm just messing with you. I'm Jewish.
— Peeking Through the Fourth Wall, "After Dark: 3"
Scratch: I’m glad you got here when you did, kid. Molly could really use your help right now.
Libby: Let me guess, Molly spent all night obsessing about what to get me for my birthday, despite it being two months away?
Scratch: No… well, yes and no, but that doesn’t matter right now.
Web Original
Wow, dude. How did you do the problem completely wrong but still come up with the correct answer?
— D-Sleezy, this
pre-release Reddit thread theorizing that Zelda becomes a dragon in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom based on incorrect evidence
pre-release Reddit thread theorizing that Zelda becomes a dragon in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom based on incorrect evidence"The Middle Ages do get a bad rap, but not for the reasons the OP mentions. It would be a long post which I don’t have time for, but in 1200 years, people will think we were pretty primitive too."
— checkmate, in response to a rant by a neoreactionary, Fundies Say the Darndest Things
Webcomics
Black Mage: Does that LOOK like an invisible sky castle?
Fighter: Sure, maybe. I've never seen one.
Black Mage: Can you imagine why?
Fighter: (Thinks it over for several panels)
Fighter: Because they're quite rare?
Black Mage: I...You...
Thief: Technically he's not wrong, you know.
Black Mage: But he SHOULD be.
Fighter: Sure, maybe. I've never seen one.
Black Mage: Can you imagine why?
Fighter: (Thinks it over for several panels)
Fighter: Because they're quite rare?
Black Mage: I...You...
Thief: Technically he's not wrong, you know.
Black Mage: But he SHOULD be.
Her evidence is as flimsy as a house made of bendy straws, but she's right, and I don't have a poker face!
— Elliot, El Goonish Shive
Western Animation
Don't know why I gotta do this. The lawn's just going to get dirty again!
—Johnny Bravo on vacuuming the front lawn.
Meatwad: Don't you see Frylock? He's gonna use all that fly spit to melt down the walls of the First National Bank.
Sir Loin: Exactly!
Meatwad: He's angry at banks!
Sir Loin: Hate the ban-? Stupid-ass meatball motha(cowbell) I melt the walls so I can get the money.
Sir Loin: Exactly!
Meatwad: He's angry at banks!
Sir Loin: Hate the ban-? Stupid-ass meatball motha(cowbell) I melt the walls so I can get the money.
— Aqua Teen Hunger Force, "Super Sirloin"
Cartman: ...And that's what I got, Principal brah. These two were in the hallway making out. She had those love letters on her person.
Principal Victoria: "Ike, I long to feel your arms around me"? Ms. Stevenson, you-you're having a relationship with this student?
Cartman: Yes. During classtime, without a hall pass.
Principal Victoria: This is unbelievable.
Cartman: I know. It's like a hall pass doesn't even matter to her.
Principal Victoria: "Ike, I long to feel your arms around me"? Ms. Stevenson, you-you're having a relationship with this student?
Cartman: Yes. During classtime, without a hall pass.
Principal Victoria: This is unbelievable.
Cartman: I know. It's like a hall pass doesn't even matter to her.
Muffy Crosswire: Why do you wear a mask? Is it because rage and envy has permanently disfigured you?
Imaginary Author: No, I just have very sensitive skin. BUT I AM FILLED WITH RAGE!
— Arthur, "Francine's Pilfered Paper"
Ronnie Anne Santiago: Oh, buddy, are you crying?
Sid Chang: Nope, that's just from the squid ink, but I am sad.
— The Casagrandes, "The Two of Clubs"
