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Comic Books
Jameson: Ben, if you paid whatever this paper costs every morning to sit down and read it with the morning cup of joe, would you be interested in a story about some creature that lives in the sewer?
Urich: Yes.
Kowalski: I mean, where's this super-soldier when we're all being shot to pieces, huh? Having a beer with Uncle Sam? Chasin' skirt with the Easter Bunny?
Bucky: No, just circling the plane so he can clear us a path through all this freakin' nazis, I guess.
Bucky: No, just circling the plane so he can clear us a path through all this freakin' nazis, I guess.
Comic Strips
Hobbes: I thought that question was rhetorical.
Calvin: The other way, though!
Calvin: The other way, though!
Fan Works
Izuku: What did I do to deserve friends like you?
Dabi: You helped us kill people.
Dabi: You helped us kill people.
Caecilia: Why is it that anyone who I ask to do stuff, is so god damn slow?
Fyodor: A matter of personal preference, I think?
Caecilia: It wasn't a fucking question! Why don't you ever understand anything I'm saying?
Fyodor: Maybe I do.
Jirou: What kind of trash am I?
Monokuma: Boring! All this family shit is gross! I feel like I want to vomit! Blarrgh! (to Jirou) Hey, you, you were asking what kind of trash you are? I have an answer for you! You are trash that is about to be executed! Hahahahahaha!
Monokuma: Boring! All this family shit is gross! I feel like I want to vomit! Blarrgh! (to Jirou) Hey, you, you were asking what kind of trash you are? I have an answer for you! You are trash that is about to be executed! Hahahahahaha!
Ad in a Story He's Reading: "Do you have school spirit?"
Lincoln Loud: "Kind of."
Ad: "Want to let that spirit loose?"
Lincoln: "Not really."
Ad: "You want to make the people happy?"
Lincoln: "What people?"
Ad: "If you said, 'yes' to all these questions, come try out to be our school mascot for football games!"
Lincoln: "I said, 'kind of', 'not really', and 'what people?', so I think I'm gonna pass on that."
— Peeking Through the Fourth Wall, Episode 13
"Oy! Fat, green, and slimy!"
The Great Unclean One blinked its filmy eyes and looked down in annoyance at the one soldier who'd interrupted its speech. The man looked older than most of the soldiers attacking it, but such a small difference in age meant little to a Greater Daemon.
He had a nice hat, though.
"Did your pappy Nurgle hit you with an ugly stick when he made you," the Count's Champion yelled, "because by the gods, you’re a real blight on the eyes, you are!"
The Greater Deamon threw back his head and laughed, which surprised the Champion enough that he stopped attacking and backed up a few paces.
"OF COURSE HE DID, MY DEAR BOY!" it boomed once its joyous laughter ceased. "OUR GRUBBY GRANDFATHER KEEPS HIS UGLY STICK IN THE SHED BEHIND HIS MANSION, AND HE NEVER FAILS TO BLESS US WITH ITS BOUNTIFUL GIFTS WHENEVER HE BRINGS ANOTHER OF US, HIS GREATEST CHILDREN, INTO THE WORLD! BUT THANK YOU REGARDLESS, CHILD! I'M FLATTERED THAT YOU NOTICED!"
The Great Unclean One blinked its filmy eyes and looked down in annoyance at the one soldier who'd interrupted its speech. The man looked older than most of the soldiers attacking it, but such a small difference in age meant little to a Greater Daemon.
He had a nice hat, though.
"Did your pappy Nurgle hit you with an ugly stick when he made you," the Count's Champion yelled, "because by the gods, you’re a real blight on the eyes, you are!"
The Greater Deamon threw back his head and laughed, which surprised the Champion enough that he stopped attacking and backed up a few paces.
"OF COURSE HE DID, MY DEAR BOY!" it boomed once its joyous laughter ceased. "OUR GRUBBY GRANDFATHER KEEPS HIS UGLY STICK IN THE SHED BEHIND HIS MANSION, AND HE NEVER FAILS TO BLESS US WITH ITS BOUNTIFUL GIFTS WHENEVER HE BRINGS ANOTHER OF US, HIS GREATEST CHILDREN, INTO THE WORLD! BUT THANK YOU REGARDLESS, CHILD! I'M FLATTERED THAT YOU NOTICED!"
—An Investigation into the Primarch Sigmar's Homeworld
, Chapter 6.5 — Town Square part 2: Daemonic Incursion
, Chapter 6.5 — Town Square part 2: Daemonic Incursion Film - Animated
Manny: Sid, I don't want you touching anything. This place is for kids. Are you a kid?
Sid: Uh—
Manny: Don't answer that!
Sid: Uh—
Manny: Don't answer that!
Fifi: (trying to fat-shame Roberto) "How are you gonna look sitting by the pool?"
Roberto: "I dunno. Hot and really happy."
Fifi: "That was rhetorical, moron!"
Bobbi Singsong: "I have heard [blue tiger cubs] like music and dancing. Then again, who doesn't?"
Katsuma: "Uh, me?"
—Moshi Monsters the Movie
Mr. Fox: "Why the cuss didn't I listen to my lawyer?!"
Mrs. Fox: "Because you don't listen to anyone!"
Film - Live-Action
Reg: And what have [the Romans] ever given us in return?
Xerxes: ...The aqueduct?
Reg: What?
Xerxes: The aqueduct.
Reg: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
Masked Commando: And the sanitation!
[Much later]
Reg: All right... But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Xerxes: ...Brought peace.
Reg: Oh, peace... Shut up!
Xerxes: ...The aqueduct?
Reg: What?
Xerxes: The aqueduct.
Reg: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
Masked Commando: And the sanitation!
[Much later]
Reg: All right... But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Xerxes: ...Brought peace.
Reg: Oh, peace... Shut up!
Literature
Bianka: You know what I want more than anything else in the world?
Kaia: To co-host Good Morning America?
Bianka: Well, yeah, but that’s not what I meant.
Kaia: To co-host Good Morning America?
Bianka: Well, yeah, but that’s not what I meant.
— The Darkest Angel, by Gena Showalter
Harry: Just once, would it kill you to let security protocol slide?
Austri: Potentially. Which is why we have security protocols.
Austri: Potentially. Which is why we have security protocols.
Julius: I am done listening to you gloat. The only reason you are so arrogant is because you are hiding inside of that powerful Armor. Is this fun for you? Do you enjoy being condescending? How does it feel?
Leon: ...It feels real good. This is absolutely freaking phenomenal! And yeah, you bet I can be a little arrogant. Because no matter what you do, you still can't manage to beat me! It must suck losing to someone so far beneath your level. Doesn't it Princeling?
Julius: You no-good lowly Bastard!
Leon: You didn't want to be born into royalty? Screw you, man! Tell me this: are Nobles bought and sold by pervy old Hags at the risk of their lives?
Julius: Wait what?
Leon: Do Royals like you have to bend over backwards to impress a group of girls, only to have them ruin your perfectly divine Tea Party? What about being pushed around for just trying to have a lovely conversation with a few ladies? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THAT FEELS?!
Leon: ...It feels real good. This is absolutely freaking phenomenal! And yeah, you bet I can be a little arrogant. Because no matter what you do, you still can't manage to beat me! It must suck losing to someone so far beneath your level. Doesn't it Princeling?
Julius: You no-good lowly Bastard!
Leon: You didn't want to be born into royalty? Screw you, man! Tell me this: are Nobles bought and sold by pervy old Hags at the risk of their lives?
Julius: Wait what?
Leon: Do Royals like you have to bend over backwards to impress a group of girls, only to have them ruin your perfectly divine Tea Party? What about being pushed around for just trying to have a lovely conversation with a few ladies? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THAT FEELS?!
Blackjacket: What if this thing goes off in our hands?
Sofia: First, we'd burn our hands. Then we'd all fall over senseless before we could take six steps, and then we'd be Gentled. And then we'd feel very silly, wouldn't we?
Sofia: First, we'd burn our hands. Then we'd all fall over senseless before we could take six steps, and then we'd be Gentled. And then we'd feel very silly, wouldn't we?
Jen: "Are you gonna be silly all your life?"
Andy: "Probably."
— Andy Griffiths' Just Series, "Just Disgusting", "Brussels Sprouts"
Tia: I can't believe we were ever that young. Where does the time go?
Connie: It gets eaten by the chronovore. The giant maw that consumes old time to keep the universe running. Tia: You know what I mean.
Connie:
Live-Action TV
Stephen Fry: And to General Ignorance, where we ask Alan Davies...is this a rhetorical question?
[awkward pause]
Alan Davies: [hesitantly] No.
[another pause]
Stephen: Quite right.
Alan: ...I've got a headache!
[awkward pause]
Alan Davies: [hesitantly] No.
[another pause]
Stephen: Quite right.
Alan: ...I've got a headache!
— QI
"What's the point of rhetorical questions?"
— Clive Anderson, QI
Blackadder: [holding a potato] Baldrick, what is this?
Baldrick: I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord.
Blackadder: I haven't forgotten, it's a rhetorical question.
Baldrick: No, it's a potato.
Baldrick: I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord.
Blackadder: I haven't forgotten, it's a rhetorical question.
Baldrick: No, it's a potato.
Eleanor: Are we sure we should be paying attention to these guys? It's like, who died and left Aristotle in charge of ethics?
Chidi: [points to blackboard] Plato.
Chidi: [points to blackboard] Plato.
Spudgun: I think she's got a point, actually.
Richie: Well why don't you just go and live in the Soviet Union?
Spudgun: Because it doesn't exist.
Dave Hedgehog: And it's horrible.
Richie: [Floundering] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... well, that was my point.
Spudgun: Well, it was a bit of a stupid point then, wasn't it?
Richie: Well why don't you just go and live in the Soviet Union?
Spudgun: Because it doesn't exist.
Dave Hedgehog: And it's horrible.
Richie: [Floundering] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... well, that was my point.
Spudgun: Well, it was a bit of a stupid point then, wasn't it?
— Bottom
Eleanor: I gotta say, it seems like I was really nailing that philosophy class. Can you believe my high school voted me "Most Likely to Die Young and Unaccomplished?"
Michael: You did die young and unaccomplished.
Eleanor: ...fair enough.
Michael: You did die young and unaccomplished.
Eleanor: ...fair enough.
— The Good Place, "The Worst Possible Use of Free Will"
Hacker: What's the matter with Humphrey? I haven't done anything wrong, have I? There aren't any security implications, are there? What's the problem? [To Bernard, who has been standing silently beside him this whole time; irritated] Am I talking to myself?
Bernard: No, Minister, I'm listening.
Hacker: Well, why don't you answer?
Bernard: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought your questions were purely rhetorical.
[Moments later, when Hacker has realises that Sir Humphrey has made a serious blunder]
Hacker: The question is, how am I going to deal with it?
Bernard: In my opinion...
Hacker: [gleefully] The question was purely rhetorical, Bernard.
Bernard: No, Minister, I'm listening.
Hacker: Well, why don't you answer?
Bernard: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought your questions were purely rhetorical.
[Moments later, when Hacker has realises that Sir Humphrey has made a serious blunder]
Hacker: The question is, how am I going to deal with it?
Bernard: In my opinion...
Hacker: [gleefully] The question was purely rhetorical, Bernard.
— Yes, Minister, "The Skeleton in the Closet"
Kermit: Gonzo! Have you no dignity?!
Gonzo: Of course not! How long have we worked together?!
Gonzo: Of course not! How long have we worked together?!
Gordon Ramsay: [holding an illegibly-written ticket] Oh, Jesus, what is that? What does that say? You went to school, right?
Salvatore: No, chef.
Gordon Ramsay: You didn't go to school?
Salvatore: No, chef.
Gordon Ramsay: So, what were you doing?
Salvatore: I came to America because my family needed me. Needed the money.
Gordon Ramsay: What were you doing, why didn't you go to school?
Salvatore: I was working every day, chef. To help feed, help my father and my mother. Help them with the bills.
Gordon Ramsay: Thank you for being honest.
Salvatore: I'm always being honest, chef.
Gordon Ramsay: Just take your time!
Salvatore: No, chef.
Gordon Ramsay: You didn't go to school?
Salvatore: No, chef.
Gordon Ramsay: So, what were you doing?
Salvatore: I came to America because my family needed me. Needed the money.
Gordon Ramsay: What were you doing, why didn't you go to school?
Salvatore: I was working every day, chef. To help feed, help my father and my mother. Help them with the bills.
Gordon Ramsay: Thank you for being honest.
Salvatore: I'm always being honest, chef.
Gordon Ramsay: Just take your time!
Video Games
Majestic Agent 1: Subliminal TV messaging! What'll Majestic think of next?
Agent 2: Search me!
Agent 1: You know what a rhetorical question is?
Agent 2: Not a clue!
Agent 2: Search me!
Agent 1: You know what a rhetorical question is?
Agent 2: Not a clue!
Garrosh: Does this look like the green skin of Thrall?
Hamuul: No, Warchief. No one would ever mistake you for Thrall.
[...]
Garrosh: And now, can you tell me what my decision to wait has brought us?
Hamuul: Defeat?
Hamuul: No, Warchief. No one would ever mistake you for Thrall.
[...]
Garrosh: And now, can you tell me what my decision to wait has brought us?
Hamuul: Defeat?
Johnny Cage: Why wasn't I your Chosen One?
Raiden: Do you have all day, Johnny Cage?
Johnny Cage: Yeah. I do.
Raiden: Do you have all day, Johnny Cage?
Johnny Cage: Yeah. I do.
Cyborg: What's Spanish for "beetles gettin' owned?"?
Blue Beetle: There's not really a direct translation.
Cyborg: Rhetorical question, genius.
Blue Beetle: There's not really a direct translation.
Cyborg: Rhetorical question, genius.
Atrocitus: How many worlds have you collected?
Brainiac: Billions, by my count.
Atrocitus: Their collective rage fuels me!
Brainiac: Billions, by my count.
Atrocitus: Their collective rage fuels me!
Webcomics
Golbez: Tell me: How does one prepare for meteors dropping from the very heavens?
Samus: Planetary defense shield.
Golbez: That was rhetorical.
Samus: It was a question with an answer.
Samus: Planetary defense shield.
Golbez: That was rhetorical.
Samus: It was a question with an answer.
Almond: I guess EVERYTHING is just MY fault, huh?!
Cucumber: Yeah. I guess so. If you hadn't treated this like a game back when we had the chance to prevent it, we wouldn't even be here at all, so, yeah. I guess it is your fault.
Cucumber: Yeah. I guess so. If you hadn't treated this like a game back when we had the chance to prevent it, we wouldn't even be here at all, so, yeah. I guess it is your fault.
Pate: Is this what this is all about? You, trying to atone for what you did in the war? How many of those deaths are your responsibility?
[Beat Panel]
Alice: Most of them.
[Beat Panel]
Alice: Most of them.
Web Original
First Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams, now McDreamy and McWifey? What’s next? Kim Kardashian announcing that she’s quitting her marriage to Kurrent Husband Kanye? Actually, statistically speaking, the odds on that one happening are pretty good – I really should have gone with a less obvious couple.
Freeza: Oh please, everyone's always on about the children. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is grow up under my rule or dedicate their pathetic lives to revenge. Usually both. Really, killing them is a kindness. I can retract that kindness if you wish, but then who's the villain?
Goku: [totally lost] Y... you.
Freeza: N-no, that was a rhetorical question.
Goku: And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
Freeza: ...Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.
Goku: [totally lost] Y... you.
Freeza: N-no, that was a rhetorical question.
Goku: And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
Freeza: ...Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.
Girl In Movie: It's just a car.
Boy In Movie: Just a car? Does Michael Jordan just play basketball?
Nostalgia Critic: YES. Have you seen him play baseball?
Boy In Movie: Just a car? Does Michael Jordan just play basketball?
Nostalgia Critic: YES. Have you seen him play baseball?
Laughing Jack: Do you know why I'm telling you about such a normal little girl? [Beat] Shut up you worthless little shitfuck, that was rhetorical! (sighs) Because if you knew and I didn't then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you and for a student to teach their teacher is presumptuous and rude!
Laughing Jack: And do you know what the clown asked him to do? No? Of course not, you rambling raucous ridiculous repribates! I haven't told you yet! (laughs)
in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint. if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?
[later] I KNOW - I KNOW HOW TO BUILD A PIPE BOMB - IT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION - THIS IS THE PUNCHLINE OF A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT - STOP ANSWERING IT - STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!
[later] I KNOW - I KNOW HOW TO BUILD A PIPE BOMB - IT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION - THIS IS THE PUNCHLINE OF A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT - STOP ANSWERING IT - STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Western Animation
Brain: Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if they called them 'Sad Meals', kids wouldn't buy them!
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if they called them 'Sad Meals', kids wouldn't buy them!
— Running Gag in Animaniacs
Zircon: But the question no-one seems to be asking is... How?
Blue Diamond: I've been asking that question!
Zircon: [visibly nervous] A-and right you are to ask, My Diamond!
Blue Diamond: I've been asking that question!
Zircon: [visibly nervous] A-and right you are to ask, My Diamond!
— Steven Universe, "The Trial"
Peridot: We're dealing with 41 hours until the destruction of all organic life on Earth.
Steven: [horrified] All organic life?
Peridot: [nonchalantly] Yeah, like the animals, the plants, the insects. You know... people.
Steven: [horrified] All organic life?
Peridot: [nonchalantly] Yeah, like the animals, the plants, the insects. You know... people.
Mona Simpson: [singing] How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
Homer: Seven.
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: Rhetorical, eh? Eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do I know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Seven.
Lisa: No, dad, it's a rhetorical question.
Homer: Rhetorical, eh? Eight.
Lisa: Dad, do you even know what "rhetorical" means?
Homer: Do I know what "rhetorical" means?
— The Simpsons, "Mother Simpson"
Trixie: Why can't I learn that rhetorical questions don't work with Spud?
Jake: Maybe it's because—
Trixie: Or you?
Jake: Maybe it's because—
Trixie: Or you?
— American Dragon: Jake Long; "Furious Jealousy".
Gargoyle: Why should I have a name? [Gestures] Does the sky have a name? Does the river have a name?
Eliza: The river's called the Hudson.
Eliza: The river's called the Hudson.
Peggy: Luanne, honey, tell me, what is it like to live without shame of any kind? Is it a good feeling?
[Beat]
Luanne: Yeah, it is.
[Beat]
Luanne: Yeah, it is.
Zuko: Not up to anything, huh?
Sokka: Fine, you caught me. I'm gonna rescue my dad. You happy now?
Zuko: I'm never happy.
Sokka: Fine, you caught me. I'm gonna rescue my dad. You happy now?
Zuko: I'm never happy.
— Avatar: The Last Airbender, "The Boiling Rock, Part 1"
Kite Man: Ben Franklin was a fraud! What has this so-called "great man" ever give us?
Woozy Winks: Bi-focals?
Plastic Man: The Franklin Stove?
Rubberneck: Daylight Savings Time?
Kite Man: NEVER MIND!
Woozy Winks: Bi-focals?
Plastic Man: The Franklin Stove?
Rubberneck: Daylight Savings Time?
Kite Man: NEVER MIND!
—Batman: The Brave and the Bold, "The Long Arm of the Law"
Rabbit: Pooh, I want my shovel back right now! And I'm going to get it!
Pooh: Your shovel?
Rabbit: You promised you'd return it last week, you silly bear! If I don't begin planting my carrots at the stroke of 12, how will they grow up to be midnight snacks?!
Pooh: I don't know, Rabbit. Uh...how?
(beat)
Rabbit: (pulling his ears in frustration) AAARGH!!!
Pooh: Your shovel?
Rabbit: You promised you'd return it last week, you silly bear! If I don't begin planting my carrots at the stroke of 12, how will they grow up to be midnight snacks?!
Pooh: I don't know, Rabbit. Uh...how?
(beat)
Rabbit: (pulling his ears in frustration) AAARGH!!!
—The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, "Lights Out"
Xavier 1: Are you so dumb you even answer rhetorical questions?
Xavier 2: I don't know. Do you?
Xavier 2: I don't know. Do you?
SpongeBob: But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy. And what could be better than serving up smiles?
Squidward: Being dead. Or anything else!
—SpongeBob SquarePants, "Can You Spare a Dime?"
Max: Why's that pipe running from our water meter to your water meter?
P.J.: Hey, what's that supposed to mean, Max, huh? Are you suggesting my dad would do something unethical and dishonest? (realizes who he's talking about) 'Scuze me. For the sake of our friendship, don't answer that.
—Goof Troop, "Bringin' on the Rain"
Lincoln Loud: "Who's a good boy?"
Clyde McBride: "Not Bobby."
— The Loud House, "Cheater by the Dozen"
Kids' Show: "Who doesn't love Malcolm, who, who, who?"
Martha: "I'll tell ya who: me, me, me!"
Phineas: So, do I know romance, or what?!
Isabella: What.
Phineas: I said, do I know romance, or —
Isabella: I heard you.
Isabella: What.
Phineas: I said, do I know romance, or —
Isabella: I heard you.
— Phineas and Ferb, "That Sinking Feeling"
