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Quotes / Really 700 Years Old

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Milo: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Whoa, back up! What're you telling me, that you remember because you were there? That-that's impossible, that would make you, you know, eighty-five, eighty-eight... hundred years old!
Kida: Yes?
Milo: Oh... Well... Uh, hey, pshh... Lookin' good.

Anya: Gimme a beer.
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: I'm 1,120 years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!
Bartender: I.D.
Anya: (sighs) Gimme a Coke.

Ozzy: Hi. You can just call me "Ozzy". *She nods, waving hello*
GG: the musician? Sweet.
Ozzy: Sort of, 'though I've used this name longer than he has.
GG: ...considering your age, I highly doubt that.
Ozzy: *Ozzy grins a bit* How old do you think I am, anyway?
GG: (thinking) Don't say anything wrong don't say anything wrong don't say anything wrong...
GG: ...uh...forty-nine.
GG: (thinking) Oh GG, you sly devil you.
Ozzy: Actually I'll be six hundred this year, and...I don't look forty-nine! Do I?
GG: Well, you certainly look like a forty-nine year old who de-aged by twenty-five years recently. And six hundred? That's neat.
Ozzy: Yeah, that's eternal youth for you.
Asagi: (Lucky bitch...) You always had that "eternal youth" thing?
GG:...doesn't that get incredibly boring after the first few hundred years?
Ozzy: Since my early twenties, so... 1430-something. And yeah, it does get boring, hence the whole traveling thing.

Rose: When you say nine hundred years -
Ninth Doctor: That's my age.
Rose: You're nine hundred years old?
Doctor: Yeah.
Rose: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap.
Doctor Who, "Aliens of London"

Astrid: You look good for nine hundred and three.
Tenth Doctor: You should see me in the mornings.
Astrid: (without missing a beat) Okay.
Doctor Who, "Voyage of the Damned"

Shepard: Just how old are you, exactly?
Liara: I hate to admit it, but I am only a hundred and six.
Ashley: Damn! I hope I look that good when I'm your age.

Reverend Theo: The margin of error in your guess at your own age is bigger than the age of my whole species.
Corporal Vog: Like I said, I am having trouble understanding your perspective.

"Feferi, how long have you been here?"
The little Troll stops playing, deep in thought, you assume. Had she lost track of time? Happens to the best of us. When she lifts her head, you meet her white eyes and—
She is old.
She is older than you imagined. She has been in these bubbles for a very, very long time. And she has been a little girl for longer.
Doctor Who, in a crossover fic with Homestuck

If you're really as old as you say... shouldn't you already be in college ?
— The Viridian Saga's Andromeda Slate, starting a pattern of Comically Missing the Point...

LCdr. Jadzia Dax: So let me get this straight: No sleep. No food. No women. No wonder you're so angry. After thirty or forty years of that I'd be angry too.
Virak'kara: No Jem'Hadar has ever lived thirty years.
Jadzia: How old are you?
Virak'kara: I am eight.
Jadzia: I would have guessed at least fifteen.
Virak'kara: Few Jem'Hadar live that long. If we reach twenty, we are considered Honored Elders. How old are you?
Jadzia: I stopped counting at three hundred.
Virak'kara: (stunned) You don't look it.
Jadzia: Thank you.

Shinji: “Asuka, I want to ask you a question.”
Asuka: “So spit it out, Third.”
Shinji: “Well, you said I didn’t want to know.”
Asuka: (thinking) ‘Oh, that. Well, better now than some comically awkward future moment.’ (aloud) “Try not to freak out. Ching told me yesterday that she was envious of me, for meeting you when we were so young. She said she’s ‘waited centuries’ and not been lucky enough to have met anyone that…feels for her the way you do for me.”
Shinji: “Centuries? How old is she?”
Asuka: “Four hundred thirty-two. She’ll be four thirty-three in five months,”
Shinji: “She’s four hundred thirty-two and she’s a Lieutenant?”
Asuka: “She did say she had a few decades of practice as a psychiatrist before she joined up. But see why they don’t mind years between ranks?”
Shinji: “And Lord Verfico is a Senior Marshal… how long would that take?”
Asuka: “A long damn time is my guess. Given what Ching told me next about Daniel’s age, I can make a fair guess as to Lord Verfico’s.”
Shinji: “Do I want to know? (sighing) You did warn me. Alright, hit me.”
[Asuka grinned, and punched him in the shoulder.]
Shinji: “Ow! Hey!”
Asuka: “Oh, don’t be a baby, Third. (grinning and kissing him) You just gave me a straight line, and I had to use it. It took your mind off the strangeness of their crazy long lives, didn’t it? Alright, Lord Verfico is probably at least four hundred thousand years old, given that Ching said Daniel is 452,388 years old if my math is right, which of course it is.”
Shinji: “Gleep,”
A Crown of Stars, chapter 40

Wonder Woman:...I will be 2,527 years old on my next birthday.
Steve Trevor Jr.: Yeah, you're in pretty good shape for your age.

Barry Allen: Wonder Woman! What do you think, man? You think she'd ever go for a younger guy?
Victor Stone: She's 5000 years old, Barry. Every guy's a younger guy.

I am nearly seven hundred years old. Give or take. Perhaps it is five hundred. I forget so many things, having lived so long.
Ra's Al Ghul, Last Child of Krypton

Consider Kin Arad, now inspecting outline designs for the TY-archipelago:
Twenty-one decades lie on her shoulders like temporal dandruff. She carries them lightly. Why not? People were never meant to grow old. Memory surgery helped. On her forehead, the golden disc that multiple centenarians often wore - it inspired respect and often saved embarrassment. Not every woman relished attempted seduction by a man young enough to be her great-to-the-power-of-seven grandson.

CEO: That's a child!
Cameraman: (offscreen) Technically, he's 475 years old.
CEO: Then why did you draw him like this?!
CollegeHumor, "Juul CEO"

Deputy Tripet: Say, aren't we a little young to be out this late?
Lubdan the Leprechaun: No, I'm 600 years old!

Even though Cohen looks biologically to be somewhere between twenty-five and thirty-five years old, he claims to be somewhere between four hundred and five hundred, possibly even more. "I'm not quite sure," he says. "At some point, you just lose track of time."

I've gone through time and space so many times I haven't aged like a normal person. Who knows, I might be 1,000 years old, or even 10,000 years old. But despite that, I'm still the same kid at heart! Is that funny? It is, isn't it? Does it make you laugh? *cough* *wheeze* Are you laughing at me?!

Wait, go back! You mean to tell me it's Really 700 Years Old? I thought it was only twenty!