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Quotes / Real Dreams Are Weirder

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"There can be comparatively little question that the place ordinarily occupied by dreams in literature is peculiarly unreal and unsatisfying. When the hero tells us that 'last night he dreamed a dream', we are quite certain from the perfect and decorative character of the dream that he made it up at breakfast. The dream is so reasonable that it is quite impossible. An angel came to him and opened before him a scroll inscribed with some tremendous moral truth; a knight in armour rode past him declaring some ideal quest; the phantom of his mother arose to warn him from some imminent sin. Dreams like these are (with occasional exceptions) practically unknown in the lawless kingdoms of the night. A dream is scarcely ever rounded to express faultlessly some faultless ideas. An angel might indeed open a scroll before the dreamer, but it would probably be inscribed with some remark about excursion trains to Brighton; a knight in armour might ride by him, but it would be impossible to deny that the most salient fact about that warrior was the fact that he was wearing three hats; his mother might indeed appear to the dreamer, and give him the tenderest and most elevated counsel, but it would be impossible for the loftiest ethical comfort to entirely obscure the fact that her nose was growing longer and longer every minute. Dreams have a kind of hellish ingenuity and energy in the pursuit of the inappropriate; the most omniscient and cunning artist never took so much trouble or achieved such success in finding exactly the word that was right or exactly the action that was significant, as this midnight lord of misrule can do in finding exactly the word that is wrong and exactly the action that is meaningless."

Claptrap: I had the weirdest dream last night.
Brock: Did it involve Charles Manson, Rita Moreno, and a duck?
Claptrap: No, but-
Brock: Then it wasn't the weirdest dream.

"I wish I had normal dreams, like sugary birds made of candy knocking people off chocolate platforms or something."
Minato Arisato, My Life Is A Goddamn Mess

"Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear
Then all of a sudden I'm floating in midair
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flyin' everywhere!

Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet
Next comes the part that I won't ever forget
Now I'm bein' followed by these Russian spies
They give me some velcro and then order a fries
Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship
I fall down a hole, and that's when I realize

I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
Night after night, after night, after night
All right!"
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Stuck in a Closet with Vanna White"

Sylvester: In my dream, my boxers were made of pimento loaf. What does that mean?
Toby: That you're messed up.

Louis wondered briefly if Pascow had just ceased to exist. Figures in dreams often did just that. So did locations —first you were standing nude by a swimming pool with a raging hardon, discussing the possibilities of wife swapping with, say, Roger and Missy Dandridge; then you blinked and you were climbing the side of a Hawaiian volcano. Maybe he had lost Pascow because this was the beginning of Act II.

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