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Quotes / Pull the Thread

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Now you know that the girls are just making it up
Now you know that the boys are just pushing their luck
Now you know that my ride doesn't really exist
And my name's not really on that list.
They Might Be Giants, "Prevenge"

Cause there's one small secret that's bugging you
It would break their hearts if they ever knew
there's a world outside and you can feel it coming in
Just pull the string
And this whole thing's coming down..
Jonathan Coulton, "Pull the String"

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[during a This Is My round, Lee is attempting to persuade the other team that the Mystery Guest taught him to swim in Southport when he was 30]
Rob Brydon: What made you think, at the age of 30, "I really ought to learn to swim"?
Lee Mack: I moved to Brighton, and I had a flat that overlooked the sea—
Krishnan Guru-Murthy: Hold on, so you moved to Brighton and travelled to Southport to have your swimming lessons?
[beat, during which the audience laughs and Lee realizes he is completely sunk]
Rob: (delighted) Thank you, sir!
Lee: Erm, I moved to Brighton, looked at the sea, and thought "Oh my God, I'm terrified of the water, I'm moving back to Southport"—

Something's not right here. Let's go and poke it with a stick...
The Doctor, Doctor Who, "Amy's Choice"

Baldrick: (examining bite marks on Prince Edmund's neck) My God, what's happened to your neck?
Edmund: Oh! They're- they're love bites, actually!
Baldrick: They look more like dog bites to me.
Edmund: (laughs awkwardly) Well, yes, she was, um- a bit of an animal.
Lord Percy: Oh, yes? Fight to the death, eh?
Edmund: Oh, yes! As my tutor Old Bubble Face used to say, "Make love and be merry, for tomorrow, you may catch some disgusting skin disease!" (He and Percy laugh together)
Baldrick: (feeding a dwarf in a cage) I'd be prepared to swear those are dog bites.
Edmund: They are not dog bites! She was very attractive!
Baldrick: Yeah, shiny coat, wet nose, clear eyes.
Edmund: No, Baldrick! It was a woman!
Baldrick: Fair enough, my Lord.
Edmund: Right, now that's sorted out... (to Lord Percy) Percy, what are we up to today?
Percy: Well, my Lord... I thought... that you and I... might take out a couple of prisoners and... Actually, my Lord, Baldrick might have a point. They do look like dog bites.
Edmund: Yes, all right! They're dog bites, they're dog bites! I got bitten by a dog! A woman pushed me off the ramparts, because she thought I'm so hideously ugly, and I got ravaged by a rabid dog! Does that satisfy you?!
Baldrick: Yes, my Lord.
Edmund: GOOD! EXCELLENT! GOOD! RIGHT! (tries calming down) Yes, Percy, you were saying?!
Percy: Right, my Lord. You and I... might take a couple of... So it wasn't a woman?
Edmund: NO! It was a dog, it was a dog, IT WAS A BLOODY GREAT DOG!!! (barks madly)
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