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Quotes / Pretender Diss

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    Anime and Manga 
Vegeta: You want to know what your big mistake was, Black?
Goku Black: What mistake?!
Vegeta: (while beating Black into the ground) It's that stolen body! Every muscle, every cell... his body was built from a lifetime of intense battles! But you took it; it's all second-hand! You feel the power in those Saiyan cells, but you don't truly understand it, because you didn't build it! And you'll never learn to think like that clown!
Black: How can there be a such a huge power gap between us?!
Vegeta: That's simple: you're an interloper, a Saiyan imposter. And I'm the real thing! THE ALMIGHTY PRINCE VEGETA!

Starscream: Your time is now over, Megatron. The reign of Starscream will be a reign of terror!! [...] All of you will bow down before me or face my wrath!
(Megatron appears before Starscream and laughs at him)
Starscream: What are you laughing at?
Megatron: I'm laughing at a coward, a gutless wonder, a wimp -- who I trained to be a warrior. But you could never cut it, Starscream. No matter how big you become, you're still the same pathetic wannabe! Oh yes... you're the king alright. The king of fools!
Starscream: Ever notice how much noise an insect makes, buzzing and clacking, until you crush it underfoot? That's what you are Megatron — a bug with a big mouth!
Megatron: We'll see — when I knock that crown off your head! Power alone is not enough, and you just don't have what it takes.
Transformers Cybertron, Starscream

    Comic Book 

Why should I kill the Batman? Isn't it obvious? I'm the Joker. He's the Riddler. And in the end, who cares about the Riddler?
The Joker, Batman (Rebirth), "The War of Jokes and Riddles"

Take off that cowl. It doesn't belong to you.
Batman to Fake Batman, Injustice 2

Thanos: A disciple of Death... versus a lord of Destruction. Tell me then, Darkseid... Would you care to make a wager on the outcome?
Darkseid: I wager, you pale imitation of me... that you will lose.

He's just a B-list punk who's got a shot at the big-time here. A lackey of the Goblin that suddenly thinks he's got a chance in the major leagues. But I've got news for you, man... a loser dressed like Venom is still a freakin' loser.
Spider-Man regarding Mac Gargan/Venom III

You're not the Masters of Evil — You're little more than a joke! The old Masters — they never were anyone's hirelings, not like you! They were Masters, not slaves! That was the point!
Citizen V/Baron Zemo to the Crimson Cowl's Masters of Evil, Thunderbolts

You darest wear the flesh of the Odinson?! I knew Thor... Thor was a friend of mine... And you know something, imposter? THOU ART NO THOR!
Hercules before smashing the clone Thor's head in, Civil War


    Fan Works 

Rider: What's wrong, little boy? Aren't you going to summon your Servant?
Shirou: Aren't you going to summon your Master?
Rider: I'm afraid my Master isn't here right now.
Shinji: Yes I am, Rider!
Rider: No. She's not.

    Film - Animation 
Lex Luthor: Would you like a printout? Maybe some hot cocoa before you leave?
Batman: I have what I need.
Luthor: What you "need" is to show me some respect! I saved all your asses against Cyborg Superman! And I'll remind you, I'm a Justice League member now!
Batman: Probationary member. Don't call us; we'll call you.

Joker: You're out of your league, McGinnis. I know every trick the original Batman and Robin knew at their peak.
Terry/Batman: Maybe. But you don't know a thing about me.
Joker: You? What's to know? You're a punk! A rank amateur. A costumed errand boy taking orders from a senile old man.

Batman: He's calling himself the Red Hood. What do you know about it?
The Joker: That he has horrible taste. When I wore that number it was classy. More flashy maître d' than motorcycle fetish. Oh, these kids today.

Simba: You will stay where I can keep an eye on you — away from him!
Kiara: You don't know him!
Simba: I know he's following in Scar's pawprints! And I must follow in my father's.

Waternoose: I never should have trusted you with this. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer!
Randall: Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.
Waternoose: Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!

    Film - Live-Action 
Maybe I don't give a shit! Maybe I don't remember the last time I blew my nose either... Who the fuck are you? I should remember you? What, you think you like me? You ain't like me motherfucker, you a punk. I've been with made people, connected people. Who've you been with? Chain snatching, jive-ass, maricón motherfuckers. Why don't you get out of here and go snatch a purse?
Carlito Brigante to Benny Blanco, Carlito's Way

Vigilante: What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me?
Batman: I'm not wearing hockey pads.

Student: Your theory on raptors is good and all, but isn't all this conjecture kind of moot? I mean, once the U.N. and Costa Rica and everyone decides how to handle that second island, scientists will just go in and look for themselves.
Alan Grant: Dinosaurs lived sixty five million years ago. What is left of them is fossilized in the rocks, and it is in the rock that real scientists make real discoveries. Now what John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park is create genetically engineered theme park monsters, nothing more and nothing less.

"I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try."
Mark Zuckerberg, The Social Network

"Alas, you're no Vader. You're just a child in a mask."
Supreme Leader Snoke to Kylo Ren, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

"The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You're drowning, I am swimming."
Red Miller to Jeremiah Sand, Mandy (2018)

Kurtz: I expected someone like you. What did you expect? Are you an assassin?
Willard: I'm a soldier.
Kurtz: You're neither. You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.

Peter, by the gift of Aslan, by election, by prescription, and by conquest, High King over all Kings in Narnia, Emperor of the Lone Islands and Lord of Cair Paravel, Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Lion, to Miraz, Son of Caspian the Eighth, sometime Lord Protector of Narnia and now styling himself King of Narnia, Greeting.
— A letter by Peter Pevensie, Prince Caspian

You can sit here in your camp out in the desert, calling yourself Field Marshal or whatever gets your rocks off. The people I represent sit in big offices in big cities. Some of those cities are centres of government. And what they call themselves, they really are.
Mack Bolan, The Executioner #44, "Terrorist Summit"

Mara Jade: Is that the best you've got? Babies crying and ghosts whispering lies from beyond the grave? The Dark Lord of the Sith I knew would have been ashamed to use such tactics.
Exar Kun: What? Who Dares?
Mara Jade: Who cares, more correctly. [...] Isard would have had you digitized, analzyed and discarded without a second thought, and she wasn't even Force-sensitive. Darth Vader would have found you amusingly quaint, and the Emperor... well... The Emperor succeeded in destroying the Jedi, so he'd see you as the very definition of failure!

I asked my son about [overly-large pants worn by young people], and he told me that mainly "bassers" wear them. "Bassers" are people who like a lot of bass in their music. They drive around in cars with four-trillion-watt sound systems playing recordings of what sound like above-ground nuclear tests, but with less of an emphasis on melody.
My son also told me that there are also people called "posers" who DRESS like "bassers", but are, in fact, secretly "preppies". He said that some "posers" also pose as "headbangers", who are people who like heavy-metal music, which is performed by skinny men with huge hair who stomp around the stage, striking their instruments and shrieking angrily, apparently because somebody has stolen all their shirts.
"Like," my son said, contemptuously, "some posers will act like they like Metallica, but they don’t know anything about Metallica."
If you can imagine.
A Failure To Communicate by Dave Barry

    Live-Action TV 

You're no God. Nor Devil. You're just a cruel, sad little blue man. So why don't we skip to the part where I end this?
Yo-yo to Kassius, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Hello, Kieran. Who told you you could wear my mask?
Brandon James, Scream

Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cas, I know God, and you sir are no God.
Death, Supernatural



You ain't no punk you punk
You wanna talk about the real junk?
If I ever slip, I'll be banned
'Cause I'm your garbageman
The Cramps, "Garbageman"

Son, they shook
Cause ain't no such thing as halfway-crooks!
Mobb Deep, "Shook Ones, Pt. II"

You better fold because
You'll face defeat
With two left feet!
And judging by the way you move,
Well, plumbers don't know how to groove!
You step up to my crib?
I'll take you down like Funkytown,
If you will not learn your place,
Then watch out, boy! I'll punch yo' face!
You couldn't ever hope to dance at my level!
Now clear the floor and make way for the Disco Devil!

Stole my style?
Well, I'm impressed!
I guess copycats
Want to copy the best!
But I got no patience for impostors trying to take the throne!

    Pro Wrestling 

Meanwhile, right over here on the flagship show, Monday Night Raw, Brock Lesnar has eaten through the single most stacked heavyweight division in the history of WWE. That fact is undisputed. But... you? Jinder Mahal? The Make-Believe Maharrrrrrrrraja? With- with- with the Singh-Singh-Singh-Singh-Singh-Along Brothers standing behind you, doing my schtick of introducing you? Are you kidding me? You're not Brock Lesnar's equal! You're not Brock Lesnar's contemporary! You're not Brock Lesnar's counterpart on SmackDown Live! You're not even a worthy pretender to the throne of being WWE Champion! When we think of WWE Champions, we think of Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena... and, ladies and gentlemen, my client, Brock Lesnar! We don't think of Jinder Mahal, a consolation-prize champion offered to SmackDown Live when Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan realized they got the shaft in the Superstar Shakeup!
Paul Heyman, WWE Raw, October 23, 2017, on Jinder Mahal's Survivor Series challenge to Brock Lesnar.


Livilla: If you do not choose to help me, I can make you do so. You understand me?
Berengaria: Oh yes. I was wondering when the threats would come.
(SFX of Berengaria being slapped twice)
Livilla: Now, what do you say?
Berengaria: ...when I came here to torture my mother-in-law, when I came to gloat, with a small blunt knife I would cut her face. Every day I would do it, hack another piece off. By the time I had her executed, there was no face left, just her eyes, so she could see the moment of her death... and never once did she cry. Did you even bring a knife?
Berengaria: You're not fit to follow in her footsteps or mine! Unless you're prepared to hurt me properly, LEAVE HERE AT ONCE!

Hydraxon: You're...not...Maxilos...
Makuta Teridax: *after reading Hydraxon's mind and buried memories* And you're not Hydraxon. You only think you are. The real Hydraxon is dead. Slain by Takadox and buried in the rubble of the original Pit. You're just a copy. Some meddlesome Matoran the Mask of Life decided to have some fun with. You're not even worth the time it's taking to demolish you.

    Video Games 

The Penguin: You’re not better than me. No one is. I own this place.
Hugo Strange: Well, to be clear, I allow you certain freedoms but, let’s continue.

A humie mek fightin' against us! Aw, da sad leadin' da weak.
Dem orks got a mek for a boss! Dat's just sad, dat is.
Kaptin Bluddflagg encountering an enemy Techmarine or Mek respectively, Dawn of War II: Retribution

You were never one of us. You were nothing but a usurper. A false idol. My eyes have been opened. Let me help you to see, Slayer.
The Marauder to the Doom Slayer, Doom Eternal

Ful, losei Dovahkiin? Zu'u koraav nid nol dov do hi.note 
...You do not even know our tongue, do you? Such arrogance, to dare take for yourself the name of Dovah.

Now we see why you are a Lesser Evil!

Aquaman: I'm the true king!
Regime Aquaman: Wrong, imposter!

Atrocitus: What makes you the real Atrocitus?
Other Atrocitus: The purity of my rage!

Black Adam: You expect to best a god?
Enchantress: The gods tremble in my presence.
Black Adam: You are no divine creature.

Catwoman: I've got the cat theme covered.
Cheetah: I'm the real Catwoman!

Doctor Fate: Do you serve chaos or order?
Brainiac: I am the Lord of Order.
Doctor Fate: That title is taken.

Gorilla Grodd: A pretender to my throne?
Other Gorilla Grodd: I am the real gorilla!
Gorilla Grodd: There is no Grodd but Grodd!

Superman: Superman...
Other Superman: Who are you?!
Superman: I'm who you're trying to be!

The Dragon: Your tape was kid shit. You honestly thought you were in my league. It's sad, watching you grovel for my approval.
V: You think I want your approval, bitch? Fuck you. FUCK YOU. We could have been a real fucking team, you know? Your form, my cinematic flair. It could've been art. I'm going to fucking KILL you, fuck the questions.
The Dragon: I'm tied up and you still want my approval.

Hey... You just ACTED like me. That doesn't mean you ARE me. You're no match for the real deal, original Bowser...

Commander Shepard: If you don't mind my saying, you don't really seem like an assassin.
Thane Krios: You've spent too much time fighting thugs who think custom-painted armor makes them professionals.

Aliens don't know strength. My followers are true krogan. Everything about Grunt is a lie.
Gatatog Uvenk, Mass Effect 2

OK! I'm gonna show this paper pusher how a REAL final boss fights!

Hate to break it to you, but you're nothing but a cheap knockoff at best.

Sonic: I found you, faker!
Shadow: Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here. You're comparing yourself to me? Ha! You're not even good enough to be my fake!
Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!

A copy is still just a copy. It'll never be able to top the original!
Sonic the Hedgehog referring to Metal Sonic, Sonic Rivals

Spider-Man 2099: What happened to you, Parker? You used to be the greatest of them all!
Peter Parker 2099/Alchemax CEO: [laughs] Still am, sport. The one, the only Spider-Man. Accept no substitutes. Including you.

Andrew Oikonny: You thought I wasn't as smart as Uncle Andross, well, guess what?
Leon Powalski: You're not.

Another thinks to bring me to my knees! Another who wishes me to bow before him, like he is some pitiless King! Does he think his pathetic sorceries will work on me or my followers? Come, my Swords of Chaos, let us show this weakling conjurer who-would-be-royalty what I do to monarchs! He will see why I am the Lord of the End Times, why I am the Everchosen, and why I will wield the Slayer of Kings!
Archaon the Everchosen, Total War: Warhammer

If Orr thinks he can take what is rightfully mine then he is very much mistaken! I will be Supreme Patriarch - I will wield the Staff of Volans! The Wind of Chamon will rise and blast any who get in my way! Now is the time for the Gold Order, and I will brook no interference. Any who get in my way will see their armour run into lead goblets, their blades melt and their bones turned to gold! Now, men, fight - bring me victory. The Emperor needs me, not some pathetic Pyromancer or insipid white wizard! For the good of the Empire, I will rise to the highest magical office in the land, and this FOOL will not stop me!
Balthasar Gelt, Total War: Warhammer

Dis fortress iz now mine! I'm 'da Greatest', not some stinking goblin-lovin' git called Rotgut!
Grimgor Ironhide, Total War: Warhammer

Feeble Liche - come hence from mine fortress and kneel before thy Lord! Drakenhof's stones are bound by mortar of mine own blood. While yours shall be sprayed across the battlefield as I wrench the head from thine shoulders!
Mannfred von Carstein, Total War: Warhammer

These beasts call themselves "hunters"? Hah! Do they not know they face Orion, Master of the Wild Hunt? Their auras cannot protect them now, for I am charged with the spirit of Kurnous; rage and destruction flow through me!

The masters obviously want to see me kill you, pretender.
Wulfrik the Wanderer, Total War: Warhammer

Dis false prophet don't talk to da Green Godz. I should know coz dey told me, dey don't like 'im! 'Ee smellz right funny. 'Ee got some crazy funk about 'im, alright.

You are not HIM.
Arkhan the Black, referring to Nagash, Total War: Warhammer II

I am the true lord of the sea. You lifeless scum do not impress me.
Lokhir Fellheart, Total War: Warhammer II

These pirates are pretenders.
Luthor Harkon, Total War: Warhammer II

Keiji Shibusawa: Kazama's in a league of his own. I don't have the means to stand apart, myself. But if I can't reach the top of the heap without his title, I'll mint it myself.
Kazuma Kiryu: You think you've got the whole thing worked out? Any title a man draws up for himself isn't worth wearing.


    Web Video 
Eventually, every promising, next great American auteur film-maker tries to make GoodFellas. David O. Russell probably should have gotten his out of his system back when he was promising and not just an undeniably talented but mercurial director who's starting to show signs of having peaked with The Fighter. It's not that this movie is bad so much as it's so average and lifeless considering all the talent on hand. Why all the sturm und drang over something as goofy and ripe for comedy as the ABSCAM scandal? Why are four celebrated, immensely-talented actors (and also Bradley Cooper) stomping around with those godawful fake New Jersey accents, like a SNL sketch they forgot to bring the jokes for? It goes on forever, none of it feels authentic or interesting. There's a moment where an actor known for actual Martin Scorsese movies shows up, and it's like George Harrison just got up on stage with The Monkees. What a letdown.

And while we're on the subject, Chris, if this is purely an ego-trip thing, y'all need to slow down, bro. I mean, you're good, but all the film bros declaring you the new whoever for a decade might have finally gone to your head. Reality check: you ain't fun enough to be Orson Welles, you ain't prolific enough to be Hitchcock, your craftsman bona fides aren't genuine enough to be Mann, Frankenheimer, Ridley or Tony, and you ain't interesting enough to be Kubrick. You are basically Michael Bay for people who know what a high thread count is supposed to feel like and how proper scotch is supposed to taste. There's nothing wrong with that, your movies are good, but I'm not gonna risk my life for ya, and I'm not goona tell other people they should either.

    Western Animation 
J-Man: Who do you think you're talking to, old man? We're the Jokerz!
Bruce Wayne: [Smirking] Sure you are.

Say goodnight, fellas! Because the real Ghostbusters are here to stay!
Ray Stantz, The Real Ghostbusters

Green Goblin: Stand back for the real Goblin...
Hobgoblin: What?!
Green Goblin: The GREEN GOBLIN!
Hobgoblin: I thought you were just a rumor!
Green Goblin: You're going to wish I was! [...] (throws a computer at Hobgoblin)
Hobgoblin: How did you lift that?!
Green Goblin: Because I am the real deal, you cheap imitation!

Count Dooku: You are more powerful than I have sensed.
Asajj Ventress: The Dark Side is strong in me, for I am Sith.
Count Dooku: Ha, ha, ha! A bold claim. But you are not Sith. You wear the trappings of the Sith, you fight like the Sith. But this can be imitated, however. You lack a vital quality found in all Sith. Sith have no fear. And I sense much fear in you.

Is that the best you can do, Starscream? And to think you actually believed you could take over as leader of the Decepticons. You couldn't lead a parade.
Megatron, Transformers Animated

Ultra Magnus, you are NO Optimus Prime!

Long Feng: You've beaten me at my own game.
Azula: Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player.


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