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I AM...

I Am a Monster


AFnote  [time] MBAD! SLEEP TOO LATE
-The first words you'll see in the game. It only gets worse.

GO TO THE ELF'S WORLD WELCOME! EVERYONE CALL ME ELF MONSTER
-Professor Oak

I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH THE TRASHY MAN. IN SPITE OF THE MONSTER, AND THE COACH, ONLY TRASHY, I WILL BEAT DOWN THEM ALL. FOR THIS I MUST STRENGTHEN MYSELF. THE MONSTER IS THE SAME TOO. COLLECT ALL THE TRASHY, RIGHTEOUS FELLOW ALL ARE UNPARDONABLE! YOU DON'T AFFECT ME. THE TRASHY STROLLING IS AN EYESORE!
-Silver after his defeat in Azalea Town

A ADEPT ARRANGING FOR MOTHER VOLCANO BAKEMEAT
-Description of foodstuffs in the PC's house

I AM A MONSTER COACH, THE FIRST MANKIND ALL OVER THE WORLD.
-Silver after his first battle with the player

I AM SO UNWILLING TO PUT DOWN THE PHONE! GOODBYE!
-Various NPC's at the end of a phone conversation

WHAT ARE YOU!?
-Rocket Grunt after being defeated

HIT TO KEY!
-Text displayed when you get a critical hit

(Pokémon) HAVE A PILLORY
-Text displayed when sending a Pokémon back to its ball.

OUCONG SAYS: FEARFUL!
-Quote after talking to a Farfetch'd NPC

LITTLE STRAWBERRY ME BABY
-A Pidgey NPC

I TAKE A FANCY TO THE STRONG WINNER.
-Silver

GET ANGRY AS SOON AS THINKING THIS, YES, OUR LOVE MUST BECOME STRENGTH.
-Silver

THEY WERE FLUTTERING IN THE SKY, MAKING THE SKY MAGNIFICENT. I LET THE WORLDLY PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEIR GRANDNESS!
-Falkner

ASSES IS 1000 DOLLARS.
-Team Rocket grunts near the Ragelake.

BULLET GIVEN BY BET-BOY. GIVEN BY BET-BOY CAN USE
-A screen that occasionally pops up, often after a glitch has been encountered. It's supposed to be telling you to play the game on a Game Boy Color (as opposed to a regular Game Boy), but Translation Train Wreck is in full force here.

CAN'T DO!
-Quote after a Pokémon can't use a move due to paralysis

(Player)!(Item) BAG/POCKET/BALL FUCK
-Quote after obtaining an item

HAVE YOU GONE TO XIAOJIN? MANY CHANGES IN ELF CENTER FRIGHTEN YOU?
-A Pokémon trainer that you meet a little before you get to Xiaojin. "Frighten" is oddly appropriate here, as visiting the Xiaojin PCC is likely to crash your game

(Player) PULL THE POWER SUPPLY OUT

THE MONSTERS, AS THE PEOPLE, ONLY LIVES, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN, I HAD TASTED EVERYTHING, I FELT SAD. AS YOUR PREDECESSOR, I SHOULD TEACH YOU. BEFORE YOUR WERE BORN, I HAS BEEN TOGETHER WITH MONSTERS. BECAUSE WE HAVE THE SPIRIT NOT TO LOSE ABSOLUTELY, WHETHER OR NO, AND WE ARE CALLED "WINTRY POPLAR AND WILLOW" TO SEE MY MIGHT
-Pryce

SEND MY FAVORITE POCKET MONASTER TO THE GIRL SIDEWARD.
-Pokémon School Student

WE WILL NOT DESTROY THE TOWER EVEN IF WE ARE CRAZY.
-Sage in Sprout Tower

CRAZY MAKES WEAKENED!
-NPC Pokémon Trainer

WROTE STATUS TO ELF' REPORT. FOLLOWING THE REPORT ABOVE WRITE ON AREN'T IT? NOW WE ARE WRITING THE REPORT. (Player)! WRITE THE REPORTnote 
WROTE STATUS TO ELF' REPORT. THE REPORT ABOUT OTHER EXPLORATIONS ARE BEING WRITTEN WRITE FROM THE TOP, AREN'T IT? NOW WE ARE WRITING THE REPORT. (Player)! WRITE THE REPORTnote 
-Texts shown when saving the game

THIS WAS THE THING ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO. THE GROUP OF MISSLE BOMB MADE USE OF MONSTERS TO DO EVILS. BUT HE WHO IS UNJUST IS DOOMED TO DESTRUCTION, A YOUTH'S ACTION DISMISSED THEM.
-NPC in a Pokémon Center

WENT THROUGH CAVE JUST NOW. STILL SPIRITFUL.
-An NPC standing outside of a cave

YOU HAD GAINED MONATERS FROM GRADUATE SCHOOL, BUT YOU ARE SO WEAK. IT'S A GREAT PITY. WHAT, WHAT DO YOU SAY ME?. YOU DON'T KNOW, THERE IS NOTHING TO DO. I HAVE GOOD MONSTER,WHAT'S THE MATTER I TELL YOU
-Silver right before his first battle with the player

IT IS SAID THERE IS A SPIRIT IN THE FOREST. DON'T SERVE THE DEVIL!
-NPC in a gateway between Azalea Town and Ilex Forest

IN THE SIDE IF THE SEA THERE IS A GOOD DRUGSHOP. BUT I DON'T LEAVE XIAODENG. AH I HAVE A REQUEST. DON'T YOU TAKE THE DRUG FOR ME?
-Jasmine, who is apparently trying to turn you into a drug dealer

ON THE WAY TO DUANYE ISLES, BAD CHILD WILL BE BOUGHT HERE.
-An NPC who desperately needs to be reported to the Child Protective Services

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF MEN IN THE WORLD, SAVVY AND NOSAVVY WHAT KIND OF YOU?
-An NPC trainer

WIN!!
-An NPC trainer

THE BURNT TOWER WAS BURNT OFF BY FIRE.
- Signpost in front of the Burned Tower, Ecutreak City

WEI! YOU CAN'T THROW THE BUTT CASUALLY

WAVE IS SMALL. MAY IS URF?
-Quote for when you use Surf outside of battle

YOU CAN SLIDE FREELY EVERYWHERE WANT TO BUY BIKE, GO TO MIRACLE BIKE STORE
-Sign in front of the bike shop

THE TOWER IS BUILT FOR POCKET MONSTERS TO PRACTISE BUDDHISM
-An NPC in the Bellsprout Tower

FISHING! FISHING! WIN! WIN!
-A Fisherman trainer

YOU MUST STAND TO DEFEAT THE GUY. AND I DON'T LIKE THE ACTOR'S LINES!
-Silver, Breaking the Fourth Wall in the hammiest way possible

CAN'T NAKE? SOLVED BY FIST!
-A Black Belt NPC

HIT YOU ELF TO PIECES WITH FIST
-Another Black Belt NPC

DON'T DO STUPID THING.
-Signpost outside the Burnt Tower


"Aw man, this game's bringin' the nostalgia right back! How could I forget the first time I ever met Professor Oak? Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry, how could I have been so rude? I meant to call him by his preferred name: Elf Monster. He literally demands that not just me, but everyone call him... Elf Monster! I... I couldn't make this shit up! I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. I am sad that I lack the talent to make this shit up!"

As a lover of Engrish, I'm laughing.
As a lover of Pokemon I'm Crying.
-YouTube comment

Have you heard about the new Pixar movie? Monaters Inc.?
-YouTube comment

MADAPO TOWER (Town gate guy)
BAIMING TOWER (Tower sign)
BM TOWER (Area text)
MADASIMUMI TOWER (Lady inside tower)
-YouTube comment

So, what would HeHe evolve into? TeHeHe?note 
-YouTube comment

Y'S=AC? Mother of God. This is the mathematical formula we needed to solve world hunger! Its makes so much sense now! Yen(Cost)to the apostrophe of SupplementxS = AIR CONDITIONING
Thank you Vietnamese game!
-YouTube comment

"Went through the cave just now. Still spiritful" Sounds like a facebook status :P
-YouTube comment

"I will be rude to you if you disturb our work."
HOLY FUCKING JESUS, GET OUT OF THERE WHILE YOU CAN
-YouTube comment

The translations are way to literal; putting something into your pocket = fucking said item.
Putting penis into vagina
Item into pocket
-YouTube comment

"NO STRENGTH TO CRY"
It's so sick, it can't even cry. Depressing, man.
-YouTube comment on a sick Moomoo Farm Miltank

Wait, so bubble is "Birdah"? Does that mean that Bambi isn't really trying to say Bird, but just trying to use Bubble to make Thumper go away?
-YouTube comment

kangaskhan = gelu. graveler = gelu. golbat = gelu.
...
-YouTube comment

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ RAISE YOUR YEDONGERS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
-YouTube comment

"Ah! Machine! Lately girls like to do it too. You do it too!"
...I think she just offered you a vibrator.
-YouTube comment

You have the audacity to tell me that this is "EASY TO UNDERSTAND" when I'm over here decoding hieroglyphics trying to figure out what the FUCK these characters are saying to me in their cryptic, disruptive language? They're missing W's, they're missing G's, they're missing grammar; and you're going to tell me it's fucking "EASY TO UNDERSTAND"? You sit there on your high horse and tell me it's "EASY TO UNDERSTAND"?! You can go right the fuck ahead and shit in my rectum, if that's what you're trying to do."
-Cr1TiKaL when an in-game character claims something is "EASY TO UNDERSTAND"

"He clearly has a God complex, unresolved romantic feelings towards the protagonist, and a deep, unwavering resolve to redeem mankind through destruction of the omnipotent evil 'trashy man'."
-YouTube comment analyzing Silver's character.

"I AM
I AM A MONSTER
COACH
THE FIRST MANKIND ALL OVER THE WORLD
What's with the gratuitous religious symbolism in JRPGs? Like, this random revelation that your rival is actually the First Man, Adam."
-YouTube comment


...COACH

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