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    Anime and Manga 

''You should know, you must pay a price to have your wish granted... a sincere "Thank you!" from the depths of your heart!
Shirogane Karen, My Monster Secret

    Literature 

But, as if on purpose, when it reached the limit, [Gavrila] always proved too honest for an extremely base deed. (On a small base deed, however, he was always ready to agree.)

Garovel snorted a laugh. ‘I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Hector. Were you a troublemaker, too?’

‘I, uh... I tried to be, but I wasn't very good at it.’

‘Oh, well, now I need details.’

‘Ah... okay.’ Hector took a breath and scratched his chin. ‘One time, I tried to steal a pack of cigarettes from a guy. I accidentally took his wallet, instead. I felt so bad that I just pretended he'd dropped it and gave it back to him.’

‘Wow.’

‘He gave me twenty troas.’

Garovel snorted again. ‘Smooth. What other terrible crimes have you committed?’

‘Uh... I put graffiti inside a public bathroom.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah. It said, “Wait here if you wanna see some real shit go down” and had a picture of a dude pooping.’

"If you must know," a disconnected whisper confided, "we dressed in blackface and wrote filthy slogans on the side of the citadel. Horrible, horrible things about Princess Tanalasta and a centaur."

A strong political statement, Alias thought sarcastically.
Azure Bonds, Forgotten Realms novel by Kate Novak and Jeff Grubb.

Anyway, I want you to take revenge on [Claudius] for me. I dunno. Cuss him out or something. Pull out his chair when he's about to sit down. Offer him a high five but when he tries to high five you, pull your hand away and say, 'Too slow.' Or should he offer you a high five, you must leave him hanging.

"I can't believe he launched a diabolical plan by abducting your manga. This is the most G rated villainy I have ever seen. Stuff like this really makes me rethink Nayuta's demonic influence theory."

    Radio 

A man asked me how his tie looked, and I him told it was horrid, when actually it was quite nice. That is how evil I am!
Harry Biscuit, Bleak Expectations

Pippa Bin: Today, I placed less stamps on a package than the weight demanded! (hurriedly) Also I killed a bishop.
Pip Bin: Pretty sure that covers both ends of the evil spectrum.

    Video Games 

I looked up a girl's skirt the other day. Isn't that the best kind of evil?

In this hellish world you can only take 3 pieces of candy.
Undertale, on a Hard Mode playthrough (In regular games, you can take four)

If you refuse me, I'll say something that'll cut you like a knife.
Porky Minch, EarthBound (1994)

"This is like taking candy from a baby, which is fine by me."
Shadow the Hedgehog in his self-titled game

Shiver: Watch out for the Big Run at Um'ami Ruins! As if the place wasn't crowded enough...
Frye: I bet those Salmonids are sneaking in without paying admission!

Ann: [The kingdom]'s been ruled by Narcissus for many years, and he's just the worst! His underlings steal snacks from children, burst balloons, and scream and shout all the time!
Paimon Uh... Well, they do sound bad, but not in the way Paimon was expecting...
Ann: Hmm... You mean that bad people aren't just like that, right?
Paimon: Well, if they were, this world would be a better place.

Logan has struck again! But, in a surprising turn of events, this time he's guilty of... nothing!
Well, not exactly nothing, he did cause quite the ruckus by forcefully boarding a train and did give a few visitors to our town quite the scare! And he did also break a window!
The Tumbleweed Standard, My Time at Sandrock

    Webcomics 

Revenge! Sub par snacks! Deal with my wrath!
Cassiel celebrates her first successful ploy in Misfile

    Web Original 

Making fun of his hair color? That ruthless son of a bitch!

am I the most dark & twisted psycho god online?? hm lets see: - When the dow jones industrial average goes down i say simply the word "Good"
dril

"And one whose goal is to give the cast bad hair. I'm just...wow, I'm not even sure how to respond to that. I mean, how is that even an MEH? Hell, how is that anything worse than a bad practical joke? At least previous nominees had done something actually villainous. This? No, no, and NO!"
— The Complete Monster Cleanup Thread, regarding the eligibility of Mane-iac

    Web Video 

Aha, I'm going to waste all their minutes! Mwa ha ha ha!
The Nostalgia Critic mocking the villain of Rock-A-Doodle

I'm gonna find the wrong crowd and not read things together! Yeah, that's right! Entire novels left unopened!
Marik Ishtar, Marik Plays Bloodlines

    Western Animation 

Señor Senior Senior: Now, tell me your villainous scheme!
Señor Senior Junior: My plan is this: As the funny animals dance to the pounding beat, the crowd will be inspired to do the same!
Señor Senior Senior: And then...?
Señor Senior Junior: We will party all night long!
Señor Senior Senior: Everyone will dance? That is your evil plan?
Señor Senior Junior: Annnddddd... I will overcharge for beverages! (Un-Evil Laugh)

Oh, the look on their faces, when they got the wrong soup!
Professor Chaos/Butters, South Park

Forehead's first three heads: [singing] We're evil 'cause we sing!
Forehead's fourth head: [singing badly] Annoyingly off-key! [joined by the other three heads on the last syllable]
Stitch: [pulling his ears down] Yeesh!

Dr. Polaris: [clears his throat]
"Luthor": ...What?
Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
"Luthor": No! 'Cuz I'm evil.

Morris: Boris! I’m doing something really wicked!
Boris: Oh?
Morris: I'm riding along with my eyes closed!
Boris: Morris, that’s not wicked, that’s rather stupid!
Morris: Oh... [Rides into a tree]

Who is the girl who never plays nice... and wishes that all rubber duckies would sink? Who interrupts people and never thinks twice? / Me! I'm the Lady in Pink! / Lady in Pink, Lady in Pink! / She does terrible things! / Even worse than you think!
— "The Lady in Pink," The Backyardigans

"And then she pulls another bottle of sunscreen out of her bag, Shelly! It was terrible. She always brings extra."
Victor the Villain, whining about how Mrs. Trollman foiled his plan to ruin the Trollman family vacation by squeezing all of their sunscreen out of the bottle, Wallykazam

"What kind of eeevil can I do to day? Let me see. Demolish a pet store? Set fire to an orphanage? Destroy the Earth? Mess with Eddie? Oh yeah, son, now that's what I'm talking about!"
Evil Wizard, Uncle Grandpa

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