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Quotes / Pointy-Haired Boss

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<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees

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I made a typo in my annual budget request, but don't worry. There are only two things you can't buy for the test lab this year: Hardware and Software.

Chris Edwards: Steve, I'm getting a bunch of mixed messages here. Is the governor giving a concession speech or not? Because she just told me—
Steve Schmidt: I've already said this five times already. She is not giving a speech.
Chris: Well, she seems to think otherwise.
Steve: Well, she's not.
Chris: What do you want me to tell her?
Steve: (beside himself) Tell her she's not fucking speaking!
Chris: Okay, well, you both seem pretty certain...
Steve: Well, let MY certainty supersede HER certainty! God DAMN it!!

Waits was a decidedly unlovely and markedly porcine man whose business practices were as piggish and short-sided as his daily routine. Waits was enamored of the Omega Plan and the "special" resources placed in his hands by the Board of Directors, and enthusiastically took to his role in corroding the world. "A Bane In Every Computer" would have been his personal slogan, if he'd really had any idea of what those "subliminating subroutines" he was implanting in his products were. Subtlety? Never heard of it! Hey, can you make this one even nastier?
As a result, Sunburst home computers became infamous throughout the industry for being even more unreliable and perverse than you could reasonably expect a PC to behave. To be sure, they had their strong points, but too many consumers complained of migraines, extreme user-unfriendliness, irreparable disk crashes and other ills - and rightly so. The Banes sealed in Sunburst hardware, tiny though they were, exuded a malign influence that made working on a Sunburst a living hell. Word got around, and the customer base simply fell off.
Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Subsidiaries: A Guide To Pentex

If you see Mr. H in the halls, DO NOT make eye contact. Making eye contact with Mr. H will be seen as an attempt to steal his thought energy and will be grounds for immediate dismissal. Yes, even if Mr. H is wearing his special hat.
—Final entry on "Mr H's" new security measures, Fallout: New Vegas

After a career spent focused on promotion, on sucking up to his superiors and frequent transfers to punch as many tickets as possible, [Haris] hadn't managed to acquire all that many concrete job skills. Doing the job hadn't been the point. Not for him. Doing the job got in the way of maneuvering for that next promotion.

Prosecutor: Mr. Kornada performed these malicious acts with full knowledge he was circumnavigating barriers that otherwise would have stopped him.
Her Honour The Mayor: Sustained.

    Real Life 

  1. An applicant lacking even basic job skills
  2. Someone supremely un-self-aware or lacking any relative sense of what he/she does or doesn't know.

There is something peculiarly inhuman even about his incompetence.
Gore Vidal, "H. Hughes"

There are many highly successful businesses in the United States. There are many highly-paid executives. The policy is not to intermingle the two.
Norman Augustine

He obviously has qualities that I don’t recognize or understand. How can a person who has a 15-year history of failure still keep a job?
TNA Co-Founder Jerry Jarrett on Vince Russo

As his company was descending into Randian mayhem, Lampert continued to cheerfully inform stockholders that his revolutionary ideas would soon produce earth-shattering results. Reality: Sears has lost half its value in five years...The Sears store in Oakland, California, open for business with boarded-up windows, has even been cited for urban blight.
Lynn Parramore on Kmart CEO Eddie Lampert

Someone who sucked so much on Inside Edition that Fox decided to give him a job as a bs artist on its network. Also, he hates celebrities because they wouldn't give him the time of day on said Inside Edition show. Likes to use vibrators on himself.

I'm reminded of the time during my three-year stint working for Borders when the CEO resigned and was replaced by the former head of Pathmark.... I'm trying to remember if the word "book" was even mentioned during the fifteen-minute explication of his revolutionary new customer service acronym.

I will probably be on Social Security, 44 years from now, before we even come close to a Super Bowl. No matter what we do, who we hire to run this disaster, which washed-up stars we overpay, nothing ever changes. Daniel Snyder is a black hole of ignorance and incompetence that has dragged this team into the abyss. He makes WMATA look professional, Donald Trump look tactful, and makes Ann Coulter look open to criticism or other opinions.

Larry Kasanoff is a talent-less, classless scumbag that should be banned from Hollywood until the end of time. All of the inappropriate innuendos are a direct product of his 'creative hand'. I cannot tell you how many times this moron derailed production with his brainless input. It literally has cost the studio millions of dollars. They eventually stepped in and removed him from the project. Unfortunately, that was a decade and millions of dollars late.
Vader Hater, an anonymous animator who worked on Food Fight.

Actually, I’m kind of wondering if either one of them has a mastery of the English language after reading the original script for Star Trek, which has loads of profanity in the stage directions, and at times reads like fanfic of the Maury Povich show.

Mike: Him and M. Night Shyamalan, how do they keep making movies? (rethinks it) I'll tell you, it involves a profit margin.
Jay: Well, the difference is that Roland Emmerich movies always make money. M. Night Shyamalan's movies keep failing, but he keeps getting work. Maybe he gives really good blowjobs.
(long, awkward pause)
Mike: The Suck Sense?

Irritatingly, as we constantly see potentially awesome movies dropped from development as studios get jumpy about budgets, it seems like whatever he does, Hollywood just keeps throwing money at him to produce another stinker. How many better films were kept off the screen so that M. Night Shyamalan could fart out another one star abomination?

A misconceived disaster, and yet another example of John Nathan-Turner having no sense that maybe you should avoid putting a complete piece of crap out as a season premiere (See also the premieres of Seasons 18, 20, 22, 24, and 26.) All that can be said is that at least with Season 21 he avoids putting the worst story out as a season premiere. Instead he saves the worst story for an even more important slot. Oh, dear.


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