"I can't believe I'm playing a Superman game where all you do is fly through rings. At first, I thought this was the training mode. Yeah, you know, like to test your acuracy? Lots of games have that. Remember Star Fox on the Super Nintendo? There's a training mode where you have to fly through rings. But even then you don't have to fly through all the rings, it's about how many you can go through in a row. In the actual game, you're flyin' around shooting enemies and dodging obstacles. So what the hell is this shit? You should be fighting bad guys, not testing your flight skills with some of the worst control accuracy ever in a video game! But it actually does have a practice mode. Out of curiosity I tried it out just to see what it is, and guess what it is? Going through rings. Yeah, what did you expect?"
"This game might as well be called Puppy Dog Obedience School, because Superman doesn't get to do anything heroic. You spend almost the entire game performing whatever demeaning tricks that Lex Luthor demands. It's the classic villain plot 'Make Superman fly through 75 hula hoops in one minute or die!' followed by the evil plan 'Make Superman fly through 75 MORE hula hoops in one minute or again... die!' SPOILER ALERT! Level 2 is 'Retrieving Lex's Slippers' and Level 3 is 'Learning to Shit on the Paper'. The whole sinister plot of forcing Superman to do tricks has got to be embarrassing for Lex. When Lex visits the super villain club, I know Doctor Doom makes fun of him. 'I recently vaporized the defenses at Fort Knox and removed the gold with an orbital magnet ray. Did you mastermind that scheme to get those giant hoops flown through yet? Ha ha ha ha ha!'"
