Follow TV Tropes

Following

Quotes / Our Dwarves Are All the Same

Go To

    open/close all folders 

    Literature 
Dwarves and mountains have one thing in common: It takes an almighty hammer and a tremendous amount of persistence to overcome them.

On the Nature of Dwarves.
Commonly found in gloomy mountain caverns, these dimunitive creatures will fell an Orcus Gigantus with a single blow of their deadly axes, for no weapon in Girdlegard can match the finely fashioned ax of the dwarves. Afterward, they will drink beer by the barrelful without discernible effect. Such is the resilience of the dwarven female...

Now and then you hear malicious remarks about dwarves. They are said to be of inferior build, to be cranky, to have a weird sense of humor; it is told that they only drink beer that is as black as night and are not able to appreciate music unless a hundred voices are bellowing in unison. But I say: only when you have been a guest in their majestic halls, as I once was, should you have the right to pronounce on these rumors and confirm them all to be true.
Let us not laugh at them as if they were lovable children with long beards, but, on the contrary, let us praise the magnificent way they have preserved all of us from total destruction. More than once.
The Fabulous Rodario, The Revenge of the Dwarves

Ih did aforetimes ask a dwerff as what, other than such dwerff, he fain had byn born. Ih offert the chois of myghtie draggon, all seeing magus or his own god vraccas. He did look at me in wonder and did shayk his hed, saying: ye mightie draggons were perforce slain by a dwerff, syns draggons are no more; ye all seeing magus lykewyse was vanquysht by a dwerff, syns he is no more. And vraccas neyther schal ih be, for ther be no thing left to mak, better than his dwerffis.Translation 

"It's a bit stereotypical, isn't it?" said the dwarf. "I mean, it's a bit dwarfs = miners. I don't see why we have to be type-cast like this all the time."
"But most dwarfs are miners," said Soll desperately.
"Well, OK, but they're not happy about it," said another dwarf.

    Tabletop Games 
Dwarves are one of the easiest races in D&D to roleplay. They have well-defined personalities, and it's easy to imagine a dwarf character in your mind as you play. Everybody knows how dwarves are supposed to look and act. Accordingly, making a dwarf character is often a matter of deciding how much you want to play against type. You can be a doughty dwarf fighter, a sneaky dwarf archer/rogue, or even the vanishingly rare dwarf sorcerer.
Races of Stone, a Dungeons & Dragons supplement that discusses dwarves in depth.

Dwarves are creatures of stone, and like stone they change only in response to extremes. The dwarves of the many worlds have much in common, but never allow those similarities to blind you to their unique traits.
Mordenkainen, Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes

When I were but a lad, my father, the King, taught me three things:
Never accept a gift from an Elf.
Never trust gold that glistens in darkness.
Never forget a grudge.
On his deathbed I swore to uphold these values to me own dying day, and Grungni willing I will.
King Alrik Ranulfsson of Karak Hirn, Warhammer
Advertisement:

    Video Games 
Wow, a dwarf that smells like a brewery! You never see that ANYWHERE.

Bodhan: I've been looking everywhere for you, Messere. If only you humans didn't all look the same.
Hawke: We can't all be short and bearded like your people, Bodhan.
Bodhan: Indeed. It's quite a shame, really...

Ideally humans will end up with enough parameters to end up like various different civilizations, and the other civilizations will probably become more alien to humans as humans take up more of the slack. Dwarves are an exception to that since they should keep some familiarity to be easily playable, and they should continue to exemplify the highs and lows of human craft and inebriation.
Dwarf Fortress creator Toady One, explicitly indicating how and why his dwarves will exemplify this trope.

A Dwemer of eight can create a golem, but an eight of Dwemer can become one.note 

When the Chimer first abandoned the herds and tents of their nomadic ancestors, and built the first Great Houses, we loved the Daedra, and worshipped them as gods. But our brethren, the Dwemer, scorned the Daedra, and mocked our foolish rituals, and preferred instead their gods of Reason and Logic. So the Chimer and Dwemer were always at bitter war, until the Nords came and invaded Resdayn. Only then did the Chimer and Dwemer put away their strife and join together to cast out the invaders.
Vivec, The Battle of Red Mountain, and the Rise and Fall of the Tribunal, The Elder Scrolls

That's why the Dwemer are the weirdest race in Tamriel and, frankly, also the scariest. They look(ed) like us, they sometimes act(ed) like us, but when you really put them under the magnifying glass you see nothing but vessels that house an intelligence and value system that is by all accounts Beyond Human Comprehension. [...] There isn't even a word to describe the Dwarven view on divinity. They were atheists on a world where gods exist.
Michael Kirkbride on The Elder Scrolls' Dwemer

Now Dwarves, Sire, are like angry beards on legs. Angry, beer-soaked beards on legs.
Gnarl, Overlord

Player Character: I thought Dwarves were short with long braided beards.
Zaid: What? That's just an old stereotype! Most dwarves are normal height and prefer not to have ridiculous facial hair.

    Web Comics 
Gimli: Think about it. What is the defining characteristic of dwarves.
Aragorn: Low charisma?
Gimli: I mean besides that.
Legolas: Bearded women?
Gimli: Not that either.
The GM: Rampant alcoholism?
Gimli: No! Well, maybe a bit. I'm talking about the fact that dwarves are lawful!

Cleric: Does he have any distinguishing features?
Haley: Well... he's short.
Celia: He has a beard.
Haley: He wears heavy armor.
Cleric: Ummm, OK... how about any unusual personality traits?
Haley: He likes beer.
Celia: He has an accent.
Haley: He worships Thor.
Celia: And hates trees!
Cleric: Can you tell me anything about him that differentiates him from every other dwarf?

I'm a dwarf!
Skull, providing his new D&D character's entire backstory in PvP

    Web Original 
Dwarves typically consist of seventeen main organs: the beard, the boozehole, the gratuitous Scottish accent, 13 livers and an axe.

Moreover, much like his elves, they aren't very distinct characters. Someone's said once that there are no dwarves in fantasy, just one dwarf copy and pasted all over with a few details changed, and in no other fantasy fiction I've seen truer evidence of this.

Born underground, grown inside a rocky womb
The earth is our cradle; the mountain shall become our tomb
Face us on the battlefield, you will meet your doom
We do not fear what lies beneath
We can never dig too deep!

I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole...

Alright, listen to me, you knife-eared piece of shit! If you go any further with that piss-stained pubic hair you call a wig, I'm gonna wreck your shit so hard that you won't even be able to walk with your limp dick! I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your shaven perfect little ass that your breath is gonna smell like shoe polish! Then I'm gonna take that little red anal bead on your belt, and push it in your face! I'm gonna flagellate you with my fucking beard! I'm gonna build you a pair of runic mechanical balls, and use surgical precision to sew them to your groin where your manhood ought to be just so that I can kick them with my iron fucking feet, you TWAT!


Top

How well does it match the trope?

Example of:

/

Media sources:

/

Report