Over a week ago, Bart was hit by a car and knocked the hell out near his home in Tampa. Bart was pronounced dead and both Fox 13 and Fox 29 don’t say who pronounced him dead. If it was a vet, then I’m assuming that vet bought their degree for $5 off of the Internet and got their training from playing with the Barbie vet play set. Fox 13 says that Bart’s human Ellis Hutson was so upset about Bart’s death that he couldn’t dig a grave himself. So he asked a neighbor to dig a grave in his backyard. Ellis says he watched his neighbor bury his friend. Ellis figured that the angels took Bart to the great big Q-tip in the sky and began mourning him. But five days later, Bart rose from the dead and dug himself out of that grave. The potent fuckery that lives in the Florida air and all the meth in the soil probably brought Bart back to life...the driver of the car who hit Bart and the vet who declared Bart dead better join the Witness Protection Program and move out of state. Because Bart is back and he’s going to get revenge on those who wrote him off as dead. Actually, Bart is probably going to come after all us humans for doing him wrong. I always knew the zombie apocalypse would be led by a bad ass pussy from Florida.
— Michael K.
, "Zombie Cat Lives"
, "Zombie Cat Lives""They haven't spotted us! They are all snoring in their beds! No — they are in the casino, celebrating our sinking! Not yet, kameraden, not yet!"
"Why. Do people. Never! Just! Die!?! I mean come on! Seriously here! Who's writing this!?!"
— Nick Arson, Tales of Galismera
It's over, it's done with, and luckily
You planned each potential contingency
You blinded his eyes temporarily
You drove that knife through his chest cavity
You shot him in every extremity
You forced him right off of the balcony
There's no way in hell that he'd possibly
Get up and walk right off your property
(That stuff only happens on the TV)
You planned each potential contingency
You blinded his eyes temporarily
You drove that knife through his chest cavity
You shot him in every extremity
You forced him right off of the balcony
There's no way in hell that he'd possibly
Get up and walk right off your property
(That stuff only happens on the TV)
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
— Rule 13 of the Evil Overlord List
The Chosen One: Oh, Master! You're alive!
Master Tang: I only did this: HGGGGGNN!
(Tang drops his head on the ground as if he's dead)
Master Tang: That doesn't mean a person is dead!
Master Tang: I only did this: HGGGGGNN!
(Tang drops his head on the ground as if he's dead)
Master Tang: That doesn't mean a person is dead!
The Doctor: I saw you destroyed. The Daleks blasted you at point-blank range.
Davros: There was damage to my primary life support system. The secondary and back-up circuits switched in immediately. Synthetic tissue regeneration took place whilst bodily organs were held in long-term suspension.
The Doctor: Blimey, wasn't that outstaying your welcome in rather a big way?
Davros: Until the Dalek's universal supremacy is accomplished, I cannot allow myself the luxury of death.
— Doctor Who, "Destiny of the Daleks"
"Okay! I escaped, then! Brilliant! Love it when I do that."
— The Doctor, Doctor Who, "The Big Bang"
Lucien: You were a soldier of God. A man of faith. What happened to you?
Tamacti Jun: I died, Lucien. I went to the place where the dead go. And I've got to tell you, it wasn't as we were told. I was... disappointed.
Tamacti Jun: I died, Lucien. I went to the place where the dead go. And I've got to tell you, it wasn't as we were told. I was... disappointed.
— See
Ajay: Kane never would've done this!
Kilian: Kane. Is. Dead.
(one mission later)
Kane: Once again, the world is quick to bury me...
Kilian: Kane. Is. Dead.
(one mission later)
Kane: Once again, the world is quick to bury me...
"Do not count a human dead until you see his body. And even then you can make a mistake."
— Bene Gesserit saying, Dune
Wedding Guest: Look! The dead prince!
Concorde: He's not quite dead.
Prince Herbert: Oh, I feel much better.
Concorde: He's not quite dead.
Prince Herbert: Oh, I feel much better.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE (×2)
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE (×2)
— Portal
"Not yet Snake! It's not over yet!"
— Liquid Snake, Metal Gear Solid
Lonzak: HALT, IN THE NAME OF CHAOTICA! (sees our hero) PROTON!
Buster: Buddy of yours?
Captain Proton: We've met.
Lonzak: Surprised? You thought I'd perished in that den of crocodiles. I SURVIVED! CLINGING TO THE THOUGHT THAT I WOULD ONE DAY— Urrrrghhhh!
Buster: Buddy of yours?
Captain Proton: We've met.
Lonzak: Surprised? You thought I'd perished in that den of crocodiles. I SURVIVED! CLINGING TO THE THOUGHT THAT I WOULD ONE DAY— Urrrrghhhh!
The Baker: I thought you were dead.
The Mysterious Man: Not completely. Are we ever?
The Mysterious Man: Not completely. Are we ever?
Lancelot: Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
Concorde: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
Lancelot: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
Concorde: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
Lancelot: Oh, I see.
Concorde: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
Lancelot: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
Concorde: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
Lancelot: Oh, I see.
Woods: Do not enter. I swear to God, I will shove this wheelchair right up your-
Mason: Ass. Hey, Woods — you look like hammered shit.
Woods: You stay right there... Mason... I shot you!
Mason: Turns out you're a lousy shot.
Mason: Ass. Hey, Woods — you look like hammered shit.
Woods: You stay right there... Mason... I shot you!
Mason: Turns out you're a lousy shot.
"Don't look so smug! I know what you're thinking, but Tempest Keep was merely a setback."
—Kael'thas Sunstrider, World of Warcraft
"Oh no, Blizzard killed your favorite character. Oh, don't fret. Odds are, they'll be returning in an expansion or two! Trust me, I know!"
—Muradin Bronzebeard, Heroes of the Storm
"First lesson, Rahi bones. Don't turn your back on an enemy until you're sure she's stopped breathing. And don't turn your back on a Dark Hunter until her body has rotted in the sun and her armor's been scattered to the winds."
—Lariska, BIONICLE Legends
"You should never assume that a wizard is dead until you actually see the corpse."
—Shail, The Idhun Chronicles
"And what about all those villains you've falsely claimed as kills—isn't it strange the way they keep coming back from the dead?"
"Wait! He isn't dead! Shia Surprise!"
Oh, getting into Meta Runner arms is easy if you know what you’re doing. As for who I am, well, I’ve gone by a few names and aliases recently, but for you, my dear, you can call me Sheridan.
— Dr. Sheridan, Meta Runner
"Wh-Where's the body?"
— John, Spooky Month, "Tender Treats"
Silco: Where have you been, Jinx?
Jinx: Oh, you know... Here, there... (Villainous Face Hold) Chasing down dead ends. And guess what? They're not...all...dead!
— Arcane, "The Boy Savior"
Of all the follies of all the fools in all of the lands of Equestria, the greatest is this: they cannot, will not, and will never kill me.
When I ruled over them, they called me a tyrant. From impure crystal I carved a city of glass, an empire of steel, and when they witnessed my power they wept for lack of their own, crawled sniveling back to the gods I had rendered obsolete. They begged for freedom instead of progress, comfort instead of security. They buried their heads in the muck of mortality, blind to the eternal heavens so far out of reach their mortal minds could not hope to comprehend. When they came for me, they called me Sombra—emperor of darkness, enemy of light. They struck me down out of ignorance, locked me away inside the arcane void. I saved my empire out of spite, bound them to myself, gave them life at the expense of my own.
But still, I did not die.
When I returned, I was reborn in shadow. Conquering the black magic I had wielded before robbed me of my mortal body, silenced all but the simplest words from my mouth, but as recompense gave me strength beyond anything a mere mortal could command. The Crystal Heart—the lifeblood of my ponies, the instrument of my undoing—tormented me, its very essence profaned by the presence of true arcane might. For the good of my empire I sealed it away, and when the little ponies found me I showed them a world free of willfulness: docile, efficient, incorruptible. I offered them freedom from all their earthly bindings, but they only pulled them tighter. They used the Heart against me, tortured me, tore me into pieces and banished me to a realm yet unsullied by ephemeral hooves. I lived as a ghost of my former self. I lived as less than nothing. I lived in agony.
But still, I lived. I did not die.
I will never die.
When I ruled over them, they called me a tyrant. From impure crystal I carved a city of glass, an empire of steel, and when they witnessed my power they wept for lack of their own, crawled sniveling back to the gods I had rendered obsolete. They begged for freedom instead of progress, comfort instead of security. They buried their heads in the muck of mortality, blind to the eternal heavens so far out of reach their mortal minds could not hope to comprehend. When they came for me, they called me Sombra—emperor of darkness, enemy of light. They struck me down out of ignorance, locked me away inside the arcane void. I saved my empire out of spite, bound them to myself, gave them life at the expense of my own.
But still, I did not die.
When I returned, I was reborn in shadow. Conquering the black magic I had wielded before robbed me of my mortal body, silenced all but the simplest words from my mouth, but as recompense gave me strength beyond anything a mere mortal could command. The Crystal Heart—the lifeblood of my ponies, the instrument of my undoing—tormented me, its very essence profaned by the presence of true arcane might. For the good of my empire I sealed it away, and when the little ponies found me I showed them a world free of willfulness: docile, efficient, incorruptible. I offered them freedom from all their earthly bindings, but they only pulled them tighter. They used the Heart against me, tortured me, tore me into pieces and banished me to a realm yet unsullied by ephemeral hooves. I lived as a ghost of my former self. I lived as less than nothing. I lived in agony.
But still, I lived. I did not die.
I will never die.
— King Sombra, "Plural Possessive"
