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Ennesby: From the Fleetmind, there is a single ship, the Plaited Daisies.
Tagon: Oh, there's a nice peaceful name... I assume it's one of Petey's Devastator-class warships?
Ennesby: Actually, he's dubbed this class Extortionators.

Wiz: This man would emerge as the feared bounty hunter, Sol Badguy.
Boomstick: So he's clearly the bad guy.
Wiz: Actually, he's the main character of the story.
Boomstick: [blubbering] But then why would the—!? [Wiz continues]

"The Lord Privy Seal is neither a lord, a privy nor a seal."
Edward Heath (attributed)

Owl statue, The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (It's a winged whale.)

"The French Foreign Legion was neither French, Foreign, nor a Legion. Discuss."
Linda Richards (Mike Myers), Saturday Night Live

"The reason it's called Grape Nuts is that it contains dextrose, which is also sometimes called grape sugar, and also because Grape Nuts is catchier, in terms of marketing, than A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel, which is what it tastes like."
Dave Barry, Tips for Writer's

"You call it a goblin punch. Even though it was very clearly a kick. And there isn't a goblin in within a thousand mile radius."
Thief, 8-Bit Theater

"It's like a movie called Horses! Horses! Horses!, and there's not a single fucking horse in the whole movie!"

"What the fuck? You can't even trust the damn title!"
The Angry Video Game Nerd on Plumbers Don't Wear Ties (upon seeing the protagonist, who is a plumber, wearing a tie)

Doug: Hey Klaus, why is it that Hamburg and Frankfurt have nothing to do with hamburgers or hot dogs?
Janitor, a.k.a. "Klaus": Vhy iz your Lake Titicaca not filled viz boobs und poop?

"This agglomeration which was called and which still calls itself the Holy Roman Empire was neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire."

"OK, so he called it "Let's Play" but he's not really talking; he called it Worms but it's not Worms; so "Part 1" is maybe the only truthful part of this except there's no "Part 2" yet and I guess judging by that there never will be!"

"Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...."
That's what they say, but it just isn't true.
are red, and apples are too,
But violets are
violet. Violets aren't blue.
An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green
And a pinky's not pink. So what does it mean?
To call something blue when it's not, we defile it.
But ah, what the heck: it's hard to rhyme "violet."
Dot Warner, Animaniacs

— An Adventure Time viewer, referring to the episode "Holly Jolly Secrets"

"I dunno. It's like everyone just decides what it means and passes their jugement and expects me to behave in a cerain way. I mean, first of all, it's my name, like my actual, this-is-what-my-birth-certificate-says NAME. It doesn't reflect me as a person. And hey, words can mean more than one thing, you know? Just because the first thing YOU think of is some happy-go-lucky sap doesn't mean..."
Mr. Upbeat, Rhythm Heaven Fever

"Pigs 48 cents. Pets 44. WHAT!? Guinea Pigs aint pigs, they're pets! And I'm paying 44!"
Pigs is Pigs, Disney short film

"There's these guys, called the Watchmen, except they're not called the Watchmen! In fact, the word 'Watchmen' is always covered up! How can you call it Watchmen if there are no Watchmen?"

Skulduggery: The five people glaring at the necromancers call themselves "The Four Elementals."[...]
Valkyrie: The Four Elementals?
Skulduggery: Yes
Valkyrie: But there are five of them
Skulduggery: I know.

Veronica Mars: Easygoing Veronica Mars, that's what they call me.
Keith Mars: You know how fat man are sometimes called "Tiny"?

Pintel: Those aren't Pieces of Eight. They're just Pieces of Junk.
Gibbs: Aye. The original plan was to use nine Pieces of Eight to bind Calypso. But when the First Court met, the Brethren were, to a one, skint broke.
Pintel: So change the name.
Gibbs: What, to "Nine Pieces of Whatever We Happened To Have In Our Pockets At The Time?" Oh yes, that sounds very piratey.

Staz: You mean there's sequels to it!?
Fuyumi: Yeah, there's a lot of them.

"This episode is called World War III. Why? I'm not sure, because there's no World War III in it. Yeah, the bad guys are trying to start World War III, but... they fail. You might as well call 'The Next Doctor' 'Everyone in Victorian England Gets Turned into a Cyborg and Conquers the Fucking World', but maybe that was too long."

"Every single word in this title is a lie. There are no teenagers, no mutants, no ninjas, and no turtles."
Hardcore Gaming 101, on a (long since removed) bootleg iPhone app bearing the title of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Eggman: The road ends here, old friend. Prepare to be destroyed by Burnbot! [cue robot with pincher claws]
Sonic: So, what, is he gonna burn me with flamethrowers or something?
Eggman: F-Flamethrowers? Well, no—
Sonic: Oh, uh, acid? Incendiary grenades!
Eggman: What? NO! Claws! His claws! Very painful claws! [robot pinches claws together]
Sonic: Well, then, you shoulda called him 'Clawbot' or 'The Lacerator' or 'Pinchitron 9000'! But 'Burnbot'? I mean, that's just false advertising!
Eggman: I name the robots, Sonic! Burnbot, ATTACK!!

"If this is the Happiness Hotel, I'd hate to see what the sad one looks like."
Fozzie Bear, The Great Muppet Caper

"This is called Ninety Mile Beach because it's exactly fifty five miles long. I don't understand it either."
Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

Bunk: You know those little corner joints in the ghetto that sell subs, fried chicken, lake trout?
McNulty: Lake trout...
Bunk: Like egg creams in New York.
McNulty: No eggs, no cream.
Bunk: Exactly—no lake, no trout.

''"I'm not black like Barry White, but I'm white like Frank Black is."
Bloodhound Gang, "Fire Water Burn"

"Alone in the Dark: Illumination is a co-operative shooter in which you use light to fight monsters. Meaning it's a game in which you're neither alone, nor in the dark. At its most basic foundation, the latest Alone in the Dark manages to completely balls up the series' premise."

There is no prophecy mentioned at any point in this book.
Cinnamon Bunzuh!, on Animorphs Book #34: The Prophecy

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?"

Yan: Here we are... Blind Man's Volcano! Named five hundred years ago by the famed blind seer, Hexus!
Delphi: ...But there is no volcano.
Yan: Well, what did you expect? The poor man was blind.

First of all, they're not teens. Secondly, there's no water involved. The whole Hunger Force thing? That's probably misleading too.
[adult swim]'s official description of Aqua Teen Hunger Force

So you call [hamburgers] "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
Superintendent Gary Chalmers, The Simpsons

"If there really is an interior designer named Gay Butler, somewhere there must be a gay butler named 'Interior Designer'."

Rin: You don't get the point of Murder-Death-Kill, Kirei!
Kirei: And you need to stop calling it that.
Rin: Well let's break this down. "Holy Grail War"... "Holy" doesn't work because the artifact is natively magic in origin. "Holy Grail" is BS. And you know it's BS.
Kirei: It is BS.
Rin: And "war" isn't true because it's seven people and their afterlife tag-a-long.
Kirei: The definition of war is loose, Rin. It could mean "to represent the conflict between representatives of various cultures acting as surrogates for their nations."
Rin: Could, sure... but it doesn't. The point is, I'll start calling it "Holy Grail War" when the name isn't just a cool stand-in!

Ax Battler: I am Ax Battler.
Amy Rose: Ax Battler? But you have a sword.

Football is certainly a misnomer, for the game is played not with the feet but with the hands, and the ball is not a ball but an egg. I propose that the game be played with the feet and with a ball, or else that it be called “hand-egg”.
Anonymous letter to the editor of the New York Times, Nov. 7, 1909


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