Quotes / No Intelligent Life Here

Peter: [leaning on a rock] Do you think it's possible that someone out there has intelligence greater than my own?
Curls: Sure.
Peter: Where?
Curls: You're leaning on it.

— B.C.

"The Captain once thought I'd been assigned to Enterprise to gather intelligence," said T'Pol. "He need not have worried. I have found little sign of intelligence amongst humans."

— Farce Contact, an Enterprise Parody Fic

Captain Quirk: Is there intelligent life there?
Squatty: I don't see how there could be intelligent life, sir, after all, it is inhabited by a race of females.
Yeoman Gland: That's not very fair, Mr. Squat. I'm sure the conditions on the planet are fine, except for just a few days out of each month.

— Sex Trek II: The Search for Sperm