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Quotes / News Parody

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Alberto Gonzales, testifying before a Congressional committee, regarding unexplained dismissals of U.S. attorneys: "It would be pretty darn difficult if not impossible to make a decision for political reasons and expect to get away with it. You would probably hear about- we would probably read about it in the papers."
Jon Stewart: ...Yes, it probably would be in the newspapers. You might even be called before some governmental committee. Perhaps, uh, even mocked by some pissant faux newscaster.
*studio audience applause*
Jon Stewart: They're applauding because I'm... a pissant.


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