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Quotes / Neon Genesis Evangelion: Genocide

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Shinji Ikari, Third Child of the Evangelion Project, didn't know what had compelled him to come. Perhaps it was the need to reach out to someone who just might be able to understand what he was going through; or perhaps it was the desire not to be alone—that primal instinct to seek out companionship out of desperation and an overwhelming fear of loneliness.
But more than anything, he wanted someone to talk to; someone in whose words he could find some measure of comfort, that tiny spark of reassurance that would make all the pain worthwhile.

He felt her move, heard the rustle of skin and cloth as she rose from the chair. Then he felt her hand on his knee. "You were there for her, and that's hard enough," she said, so quietly it was barely a whisper. Yet the depth of her caring was obvious and welcome.
When he failed to react to her touch, she added, "It's been a bad day for everyone. Don't feel like you have to worry about homework tonight. You've earned a little break. I'm proud of you."
Shinji could not tell her how much those words meant to him, nor refuse to accept the weight they placed on his shoulders.

"I … I don't believe that," Shinji brought up his head. "I won't forget about mother. I miss her, and it hurts, but I won't forget."
Gendo's hard, dark eyes met him, his features carved out of stone, completely devoid of any emotion, good or bad.
Shinji stood his ground, even though he knew he sounded like a little boy who missed his mother. For better or worse, that was exactly what he was. Gendo could admonish him for it, but it was the truth, and he would rather live missing his mother than forget her because it hurt too much. His father had forgotten; to Shinji that was yet another sin.
To his surprise, Gendo nodded. "Then you are a stronger man than I."

Softly, Asuka wrapped her arms around him. Shinji followed her lead, and gently touched her cheek. His hand trembled, but his had lost control and allowed a natural instinct to take over. Their tear streaked faces were only inches away. He could feel her breathing, just as she could feel his.
He thought he was dreaming. He had to be for Asuka to have come in his room in the middle of the night. He'd had dreams like this before. The next she would do was was put a hand down the front of his pants and start to … followed by her mouth …
But when he did feel her hand it was on his shoulder. "Hey, Shinji, are you awake?"
There was a part of him that wanted to ignore her, hoping she would do what she always did in his dream, but as he rolled the words in his head he picked up on something that was never in the dream before.
“Y-yes,” he replied as he rolled over to Asuka, who indeed sat on the edge of his bed. He could barely see her in the darkness, but the tone of her voice was awkward. Also not like in his dream, her hair was tousled and he thought he could smell sweat.
And then, like a bucket of cold water, it hit him—he was an idiot and this was no dream.

Asuka: Please, leave. Just leave. I don't want to hurt you anymore.
Shinji: I'm … not going to leave.
Asuka: Then I'm just going to keep kicking you.
Shinji: I am not going to leave! I don't care how much you hurt me. Break every bone in my body if it makes you happy, but I am not going to leave you!
Asuka: But...
Shinji: Why can't you understand? I want to be there when you need me!
Asuka: I don't need you! I don't want to need you!
Shinji: But I need you! And I want to be with you forever!
Asuka: You … what? Why?
Shinji: You told me that if I couldn't live for myself, then … I should live for those around me. I … I can't live for myself, Asuka. So I'll live for someone else instead. I'll live for you."

Asuka: Whatever happens, I want you to know why I'm really fighting. It's not that I'm angry, or that they tried to kill me, or even that I want to show off in my Eva like I always used to. This time I have something worth fighting for. Something I want to protect. And someone.

How didn't matter; only that she had to. Rei knew that. She was not afraid to move—because others needed her to and because she had so many things she did not want to lose. And those things were worth fighting a hopeless battle, and even dying for.

Hikari: Come on, Asuka. Everything can't be so bad. You have to believe that things will work out. You'll go back to pilot your Eva. Maybe have a talk with Shinji.
Asuka: It's ... I'm used to it. I deserve it.
Hikari: No, Asuka…
Asuka: That day … that day I got in the Eva, the Angel showed me what I was like. It made me realize … that I deserved it.
Hikari: Nobody deserves to be hurt like that.

Shinji watched her go, then, silently, turned back to Asuka. His hand lingered on her face, a comforting reminder even in her dreams that he was still with her. That he always would be.
It was a promise.


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