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Quotes / Narm

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The Frightbot told a story so scary you couldn't help but laugh.

He was sobbing so hard that he began to hiccup.
Lorelei Mackenzie, Picard's Illumination

"My arm is numb. Numb arm. Numb arm, narm, NARM, NARM—" *thud*
Nate, Six Feet Under


"Join me, Link, and I will make your face the grrrrrreatest in Koridai! Or else you will DIE.
You DARE bring LIGHT to my LAIR? YOU MUST DIE!!"
Ganon, Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon, respectively (and by the way, every single line from these games could probably be quoted here, but those two are arguably the Narmiest.)


"I, Garland, will knock you all down!"

Don't walk you away,
I can find
Don't walk you away,
I can smile
All in one right,
all in one yeah!
Start all again
— The (on-screen) lyrics to the DJMAX song Fallen Angel

"That was TOO close! You were almost a JILL SANDWICH!"
Barry Burton, Resident Evil

"Then it's settled. Let's have fun tonight because it is... IT'S PARTY TIME!"
Minh, Blood+

— Love is Breaking My Heart by Grave Digger

"NOOOO! MY LOVE! Accept it! Accept it! ACCEPT IT!"
Zommari Leroux, Bleach


"Holy cosmos, look at that thing! So, that's the dragon of the legends? My gosh! That's one whopper of a lizard!"

Johnny, The Room

"I should not be laughing! This is a terrible situation! And yet... I find myself unable to resist... your influence!"
Jorgen Von Strangle, in The Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour 2: When Nerds Collide after he blasts Jimmy and Timmy into a ditch.

4 Non Blondes, "What's Up?"

I don't think that I can take it!
Cause it took so long to bake it!
And I'll never have that recipe again!
"Holy mother of unintentional comedy!"
Mike Nelson upon seeing Two-Face, RiffTrax of The Dark Knight

"Yang! This is a sad scene! The audience can't be sad if they're laughing!"
Ruby Rose as Yang steals the Red Riding Hood play in RWBY Chibi

"Wait a minute...this isn't my world...disaPOOOOIIIINTEEEEEEED!!!!"

"I hate sand. It's so... sandy. But you, Padmé. You're not sandy. And that is why I love you."
Stick Wars on Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

"Punk" is nothing but death...and crime...and the rage of a beast.
Batman: Fortunate Sons

    Real Life 

“If you’re getting ready to do a really emotional scene then, right before it, you’re probably not going to be outside playing basketball.”



"The sublime and the ridiculous are often so nearly related, that it is difficult to class them separately. One step above the sublime, makes the ridiculous; and one step above the ridiculous, makes the sublime again."
Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, (1795)

"Everyone in the theater laughed at this point. Not exactly the reaction you want for your big dramatic moment."

"Now, is General Grievous supposed to be funny? 'Cause they said he was a villain, right? Not a comedian?"
Mr. Plinkett, Revenge of the Sith review

"It's incidents like when Wesley Snipes gets whacked twice with a TV set and barely suffers a bruise that make up the real humor."

"Spider-Man gave Mary Jane cancer by tragically shooting her up repeatedly with his horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. His horrible radioactive Spider-Semen. That’s not tragic. That shit is fucking hilarious."

"Dracula seems to have abandoned his wife, Dolores, out of grief for their dead son, leaving her to grieve for Janus at his gravestone. It's actually a kind of sad scene, at least it would be if his gravestone didn't say Rest In Peaee."

"The first hour is as boring as ever, even though they're doing the running and explaining with the less bad haircut. The little bit after that, snore-inducingly bad, but the last forty minutes are laugh-out-loud funny, and I guarantee you if Gerry Anderson had come up with that plot for Thunderbirds or Stingray, he would have torn the place up. The skydiving implications of it are so staggering. In a way, I want to tell you what happens at the end because the end is so funny."

The comic's main villain, an old school dean who once expelled Chris for good reason, is, in the comic, an evil witch who uses a brain control ray to transform the inhabitants of CWCville into her slaves (read: mall guards). Chris explains to the audience that this ray only works on the slow-in-mind. Hilarity ensues when you realize this means that whenever Sonichu and friends fight Mary Lee's minions, they are actually beating through wave after wave of the mentally handicapped.

“Be brave like my mother. Otherwise, you disgrace her.” Oh, snap, that’s harsh—
“Otherwise, she died for nothing.” O SNAP NOW YOU’VE REALLY GOT HIM
“Otherwise, the bowl will remain empty, forever.” Aaaaaand you’ve oversold it. There was a Line of Bathos, and you crossed it. I know it’s a metaphorical fish, but sweetie, that fish ain’t comin’ back.

You would have to have a heart of stone to watch Rory laying down his own life to save Amy (for the sixteenth or seventeenth time) without giggling, at least a little.
Andrew Rilstone reviewing Doctor Who, The Angels Take Manhattan in The Viewer's Tale

Zeebo: Give it back...
JonTron: Oh, hey. This is getting kinda scary...
Zeebo: (Circus music kicks in) GIVE IT BAAAAAACK!
JonTron: ...Aaaand they blew it!

In rough cut, The Lonely Lady was one of the funniest bad movies ever made. Sadly, its makers previewed their film in Long Beach a week or two after I saw the rough cut, and, realizing what a total turkey they had in their hands, went through the movie trying desperately to cut all the laughs. But without the laughs, the movie was about 17 minutes long.
John Wilson, The Official Razzie Movie Guide

As I said previously, I really think this book suffers for its audience. There's a paradox in the subject matter; on the one hand, Lasky wants to deal with themes such as Stockholm Syndrome, cannibalism, and child soldiers, but at the same time, she has to write these themes so they're accessible to her audience... which, unfortunately, is elementary and middle school students.
It's really ridiculous at times. One minute, the characters will be discussing cannibalism of children and even unhatched fetuses, and yet the next minute they'll be vowing to beat the "badbutts". Really? The cannibalistic badbutts?

"A baby just watched his mother die right before his eyes. Why is this so hilarious to me? Oh wait, no, I know why. It's because she died by getting bonked on the head by an empty shell casing!"
Bennett the Sage in his Anime Abandon review of Mobile Suit Gundam F91.

"Primal kinda died too by becoming a hilarious pancake on the floor, which seems more like a gag for Waspinator in Beast Wars than a supposed-to-be dramatic death for your main hero."
Phelous in his review of Beast Machines

"Oh, and that reminds me. That's another thing I don't like about this show, the villains. Well, they usually have memorable designs and personality and even plans... Actually, their plans. Let's talk about them. So, there's this episode, "Beauty is Only Skin-Deep". A fashion designer made a make-up spray to make everyone's face stuck at one emotion, because that made them ugly, apparently, and she hated beauty. Another villain wanted to make everything 1980s because... Yeah, because! Then, there was one who wanted to use Girl Scout cookies to make everyone overweight for no reason. In another episode, someone was kidnapping blonde women and sucking out their energy to make their hair grow so they could harvest it. These are even bizarre even for parody villain plans. But the tone and the style of the show, i-it doesn't really look or feel like it wants to be a parody. It kind of feels like it's trying to take itself seriously on some level. Totally Spies! takes on a more realistic art style than most of its contemporaries, and it's not bouncy and over the top. But the pieces just don't fit together, so instead, it becomes trying to tell a serious story about a villain wanting to turn everyone in the world into dogs because he doesn't like people. And yes, that was another episode."


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