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Quotes / Munchkin

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Red Mage: I've got a great plan. I have dubbed it Plan Awesome.
Black Mage: Oh, don't tell me. You're going to trip and "accidentally" fall such that your neck just happens to be pierced by his fangs. Then you can become an undead blight for the sake of gaining all kinds of "stat bonuses". Those will be used to boost your already impressive and versatile array of abilities to defeat our foe.
(Beat Panel)
Red Mage: No, no, no. But I want to change it to Plan Awesome-B for reasons completely unrelated to what you just said.

Thief: Doesn't it worry you to be, you know, aflame?
Red Mage: Are you kidding? This is great. This is like if burning hands was a seventh level spell. Maybe sixth. And it's auto hit to boot! I could hug you for 3D4 damage per turn. Per. Turn. No, I'd be an idiot to give this up.
Thief: Of course. What was I thinking?
Red Mage: (almost dies, uses Life 2)
Thief: That doesn't hurt at all?
Red Mage: Mmm?
Thief: The spell that brings you back.
Red Mage: Oh, it's quite excruciating. (beat) But at least it's not as bad as the burning.

Half-Ogre: All I have to do is keep moving back every time it's my turn. Attack of Opportunity! Attack of Opportunity!
Roy: Well, I have to admire your mastery of the reach rules, but don't you think it's unwise to continually use the same tactic, round after round? Shouldn't you vary your attacks?
Half-Ogre: Why bother? This combo is perfect, I'm telling you. As long as I move back 15 feet every— (steps backward over a cliff)

The fun begins when the creators tell us that all the professions are "balanced", with none ultimately having a particular advantage over another.
I don't quite want to scream "bullshit!" at the top of my lungs, but it suffices to say that I have serious problems believing this. The way these professions work are just one of the many reasons SenZar's character creation alone should have had its own chapter in The Munchkin's Guide To Power Gaming.
Jason Sartin reviews SenZar

Any finite number can be reduced to zero.
— First Law of Munchkinism

B0N3D00D: wahts ur equip?
pLaTeDeWd: viking of vanq, inv plate set xcept arms, heter of fort
B0N3D00D: kewl. a mage wuld rok tho. do u hvae a maeg
pLaTeDeWd: i am a mage

If I'm not supposed to kill it, why does it have stats?
Lord British Postulate, more or less designed for Munchkins

1647. Any character requiring the GM to tab more than 10 pages of rules for reference is vetoed.

I intend to find out who has the most treasure, kill them, take it, and repeat the process.

R2-D2: You know me; I always play by the rules.
Obi-Wan: You have a point. Technically.

In theory, games are made so that, through a series of increasingly difficult mental and/or reflexive challenges, a human being interacting with the games interface can learn how to effectively manipulate it, then use that knowledge to accomplish objectives laid out by the designers and trigger the release of endorphins in the brain. This effect is known as "fun," and it can also be achieved through sexual stimulation or narcotics use, although those methods don't feature nearly as many laser rifles.

At some point, a faction of gamers, who actually un-ironically call themselves "hardcore," forgot all of that definition except the word "objectives," and decided to treat video games like second jobs. They work at the game with grim, humorless dedication until they discover the best way to win, which is invariably to exploit a balance issue or design flaw, then they do that. Over and over and over again.

Their belief is that, by learning a rote mechanical action and having the endurance to repeat it without soiling themselves, they have become skilled at the game. And they are skilled; just like a robotic arm designed to punch a square out of a sheet of aluminum is skilled at that task. So yay for them!


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