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"Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin' I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman
Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you and
I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating
'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music, you make elevator music"
Eminem, "Rap God"note 

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Deadpool: Lucky shot, dead-timer. Again. You don't get a fourth.
Lincoln: Do you ever shut your foul mouth?
Deadpool: Actually, no. Not reall— (gets punched)
Deadpool Vol. 3 #4

Hank: I have been silent long enough!
Charlie: You have been silent for 30 seconds tops.

"Look for a switch that says 'ESCAPE POD'. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else! Not interested in anything else. Don't TOUCH anything else, don't even - don't even LOOK at anything else! Just - well, obviously you've got to look at everything else to find the escape pod, but as soon as you've looked at something and it doesn't say 'ESCAPE POD', look at something else, look at the next thing. Alright? But don't touch anything else or look at any - well, look at other things but don't... you understand."
Wheatley, Portal 2

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Bumblebee: All right, Zippy, start talking!
Blurr: First of all, the name's not "Zippy"! As a matter of fact, I don't believe I've ever met another bot named Zippy, so one can only assume that you came up with "Zippy" in reference to my speed, which may be technically accurate, but lacks a certain creativity!
Bumblebee: Eh...eh-eh...
Blurr: More to the point, the name's Blurr! I'm an Autobot intelligence agent, sent to this planet by the Elite Guard to keep an eye on Optimus Prime and his crew as well as monitor the Deception activity, and you my friend, have just blown a deca-cycle of covert surveillance designed to uncover Megatron's plot to conquer Cybertron. Everything was going according to plan when I intercepted a communication between the Decepticon leader and an unknown double agent! They were in the midst of plotting the abduction of an unsuspecting Autobot who which now, from the status of the current ground situation appears to have been successful. Got that so far?
Bumblebee: Uh... Could you repeat the last part?
Blurr: Which last part?
Bumblebee: Oh, everything after 'The name's not Zippy.'
Transformers Animated, "A Bridge Too Close, Part 1"

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...I think you're forgetting something. I'm the Doctor, and if there's one thing I can do, it's talk. I've got five billion languages and you haven't got one way of stopping me. So if anybody's gonna shut up, IT'S YOU!
(Daleks back away slightly)
Okeydoke! So, where were we?
The Ninth Doctor, Doctor Who, "The Parting of the Ways"

See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? (winks at Rose) Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob...
The Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who

Hello. My name is Connie Muldoon. I'm hosting a family reunion and my oven has run amuck! I think it's the heat actuator. Anyhoo, I'd like to order, uh, three Good Meals, four Junior Good Meals, and 17-piece order of your Good Chunks and, okay, on two of the Junior Good Meals, I need to substitute the Good Cookies for Good Pies. Now, don't fret if that's extra; I'll pony up the overage. And, uh, oh! On the regular Good Meals, I need two of the Good Burgers to have ketchup, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, but no onion; I've got an interview this afternoon. Let's see, that takes care of everyone but Uncle Leslie who doesn't eat meat but, of course, he does eat dairy, so I don't get it. Let's get Leslie a Good Chickwich, some Good Fries, and a Good Root Beer all to go. But I would like to have my beverage while I wait. Now, total me up!
Connie Muldoon, Good Burger

Pinkie Pie: Have you ever had a cherry changa? Ooh! Sorry, that was a question.
Applejack: That kind of question is fine, Pinkie. No, I-I never had a cherry changa.
Pinkie Pie: Well no wonder, because I made it up myself! A cherry changa is mashed up cherries in a tortilla that's deep fried. Cherry changa. Great name, huh? Oh, but maybe I should call it a chimmy cherry. Ooh, that's good too. Which do you think sounds better? Cherry changa or chimmy cherry? Or what if I combine them? Chimmy cherry changa! What sounds the funniest? I like funny words! One of my favorite funny words is 'kumquat'! I didn't make that one up. I would work in a kumquat orchard just so I could say 'kumquat' all day! Kumquat, kumquat, kumquat! And 'pickle barrel'! Isn't that just the funnest thing to say? Pickle barrel pickle barrel pickle barrel. Say it with me! Pickle barrel kumquat, pickle barrel kumquat, pickle barrel kumquat, chimmy cherry changa-!
Applejack: No! Make it stop, make it stop!
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "The Last Roundup"

Kenny: Why are you hangin' with 7-11?
Lee: 7-11?
Kenny: Yeah, his mouth never closes.

Every word I say turns out a sentence!
— Is It In My Head, Quadrophenia

Do you solemnly sweartotellthetruththewholetruth aaaand nothingbutthetrooooth?
Bailiff, The Three Stooges "Disorder In The Court"

"You know, you haven't stopped talking since I got here; you must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."

Shepard: Do you ever pause for breath?
Mordin: Sorry. I'lll tryyyy tooo slooow dooown... —No, no-no-no, can't do it. No time. Who are you?

Cartman: Okay. Last night, all four of us were at the bowling alley until about 7:30, at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy, the Goth chick from the Breakfast Club, was bowling in the lane next to us, and we asked her for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen, so we followed her out to her car, but on the way we were accosted by five Scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests, which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45, at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46.
South Park Season 7, Episode 3: "Toilet Paper"

Randy!V: Yeah, cause you know in Amsterdam you gotta keep yo pimp hand strong cuz niggas out here actin' like Godzilla when they really lookin' like GO-rillas, you feel what I'm saying bitch? That was some of the realest game my nigga Don "The Dragon" Wilson gave to me, but that was after he just round-housed the shit out of me for just jumping through his motherfuckin' window while he was watching Shaq in Kazaam; but that was before I watched the documentary of Malcolm X and I got enlightened on the ways of the Quran and I stopped fucking that pork and them white bitches, although I loved to; but I had to get hip to that black power, you know what the fuck I'm saying bitch? Now I'm hidin' behind this motherfuckin' mask, you know I don't give a fuck; I got these gloves from OJ at an auction, bitch don't be gettin' scared now, you know what time it is bitch, you know OJ killed motherfuckers, I got a Bronco made out of- it's a real Bronco it ain't no motherfuckin' car. That's where I got this hair from, this ain't real bitch, this horse's ass! V for motherfuckin' Vitiligo bitch! Which is the disease I got by, you know, playin' patty-cakes with Michael Jackson, they said that shit wasn't infectious or contagious, but you know, he got my dumb ass, but luckily it straightened out my hair so I don't get no problems when I go by the East Side by them motherfuckin' hookers in the Red Light District, you know what the fuck I'm talkin' about? Gee hee hee, so botch go on ahead and BUY my motherfuckin' album: Strength through Unity, Unity through Faith; you know what the fuck I'm talkin' about?! Yeah!
My Way Entertainment "V for Vocabulary"

LOOK I'M JUST A LITTLE OUT OF PRACTICE AT STAYING QUIET FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME, OK?
Karkat Vantas after being told to shut up, Homestuck

"Scout, it's Pauling. I need something done quietly. Scout? Quietly."
Miss Pauling, Team Fortress 2

Sonny Burch: Okay, hold on, hold on. I like a good story as much as the next person, but what in the hell does this have to do with where Scott Lang is?
Luis: I'm getting there! I'm getting there.
Dave: You put a dime in him, you gotta let the whole song play out.
Kurt: He like human jukebox.

Haley: Roy, there you are. Did Elan tell you yet?
Roy: Can you be more specific? Elan tells me many things, the majority of which I allow to pass through my brain unhindered.

Pirate: Can you do that once more?
Major-General: Certainly!
Pirate: And can you do it really fast?
Major-General: Ha! Watch this!
— A pirate and Major-General Staley immediately before the latter does an encore of the Major General Song, Pirates of Penzance.

There’s a margin for error but I’m pretty sure there’s a Seven Forty-Seven leaving Heathrow tomorrow at six thirty in the evening for Baltimore. Apparently it’s going to save the world. Not sure how that can be true but give me a moment; I’ve only been on the case for eight seconds. (beat) Oh, come on. It’s not code. These are seat allocations on a passenger jet. Look ... There’s no letter ‘I’ because it can be mistaken for a ‘1’; no letters past ‘K’ – the width of the plane is the limit. The numbers always appear randomly and not in sequence but the letters have little runs of sequence all over the place – families and couples sitting together. Only a Jumbo is wide enough to need the letter ‘K’ or rows past fifty-five, which is why there’s always an upstairs. There’s a row thirteen, which eliminates the more superstitious airlines. Then there’s the style of the flight number – zero zero seven – that eliminates a few more; and assuming a British point of origin, which would be logical considering the original source of the information and assuming from the increased pressure on you lately that the crisis is imminent, the only flight that matches all the criteria and departs within the week is the six thirty to Baltimore tomorrow evening from Heathrow Airport. (beat) Please don’t feel obliged to tell me that was remarkable or amazing. John’s expressed the same thought in every possible variant available to the English language.

Pearl: A new weapon is available! [shows weapon] Aw man, now we have to listen to Sheldon nerd out again...
Marina: I mean, I like him and all, but slow down, crabman!
Splatoon 2 weapon update announcement

You try to interject, but the Archive is apparently very interested in explaining this.

Lars: You went back to Earth? What the heck? Is my head like a wormhole?
Steven: No, it's way simpler than that. You see, I have a pink pet lion who belonged to my mom when she was still here, and it turns out I can go into his mane, and it transports me to a magical dimension where my mom kept a bunch of artifacts on a hill with a tree, and for some reason, I can't breathe in there. But anyway, when I went into Lars' head, I got transported to the same magical dimension, but it was a new part of it, but since the two are connected, I could reach the portal that leads out of Lion's mane, which is back on Earth!

Clyde is... well, the long story is complicated, involves reincarnation, artificial intelligence, and the zombpocalypse, but the short version is that he's a very nice, slightly nerdy man who happens to be able to do magic.
"I mean," he continues, "I know Nazis have become the bogey man of the twenty-first century. Sort of comic-book, computer-game default villain types. Standard bad person type X. Or not type X. But, you know, stereotyped. Which, and this is again, opinion, editorial, not strict facts, but a defensible argument I think - which rather takes away from how evil they were. I mean I don't think, from what I know at least, that we can really say what Kayla has done here, say behavior A, is really comparable with, say, well, let's call it behavior B - persecuted an entire religious group and mass exterminations in concentration camps."
I often assume that to gain his magical aptitude, Clyde made some Faustian bargain that involved him giving up the ability to end sentences. Nothing in my experience working for MI37 has really made that seem unlikely.
Broken Hero, by Jonathan Wood

We are the masters of a power driven to the far reaches of the universe, and we have but one desire! Can one such as you possibly fathom how dearly we have clung to this dream across the aeons? How could you! You couldn't! Never ever ever! We who once faced those who were in such fear of our power that they sealed us away and banished us to the edge of the galaxy! US! As if THAT loveliness wasn't enough, they tried to erase our very existence from history! RUDE! Only through our magic were we able to overcome their science and achieve great prosperity! We alone were responsible for stopping that repulsive nightmare of a galactic crisis, yet this is how you repay us! This won't stand! It won't be forgiven! It won't be forgotten! Never ever EVER! Those who called us mad, are you listening? You left us at the edge of the galaxy to be forgotten, then went along your merry way, probably living somewhere pretty and peaceful! But know this! Your future is a farce! You have none! We, masters of a matter most dark, vow to be restored, as foretold in the book of legend, which everyone thought was just a fairy tale! It WASN'T! We have already obtained the vessel that contains our Dark Lord, and he will soon awaken and shower us in compassion! Look! The vessel of our Dark Lord is filling up even as we speak! Now the time for his greatness to enter our world has come! Welcome to a new history! A new age! The age of awesome! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARK LORD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sir! Are you looking for a gunner? I'm looking for a ship! Here are my references!! Here are more references!! Here's my design for a whistling shell!! Here's my colleague!! (He'll stay on shore.) Here's my hand!!! Will you take it?

(normal speaking speed) Ladies... Welcome to the Home of the Spy. I will now explain to you which are our services: (starts speaking faster) We have all kinds of devices designed for your security: transmitters, microphones, multi-bands, multi-cameras, miniature cameras, frequency inhibitors, code decipherers, spy glasses, scanner, walkies, GPS, we hide cameras in all kinds of objects: mobile phones, buttons, pens, spyholes, packets of cigarettes, pet collars. We are constantly watched by the government, companies, supermarkets, public transport, by the secret services all over the world: CESID, CIA, FBI, KGB, MI6, Mossad, they all watch us, I repeat, they all watch us. (normal speed) Any doubt? (Marisa, Concha and Vicenta shake their heads) I'm glad.

Alle (to HP's mother): You see, I was just talking it over with the rest of the Koffiehuis and every single one of us agrees that HP should be allowed to be on the ship, largely because not only has she been learning and studying on board the ship, but is also one of the most invaluable members of the Koffiehuis that there is. You see, she saved the life of someone named Corbin West- screen name The Absent Coder- and it's very likely that you don't know who the heck I'm talking about, so I'll just say this: my one sole biological brother was tragically killed in a car wreck, and when Absent was brought on board and turned into a Pokemon, he came up with an ingenious plan to bring him Back from the Dead. See, there's this Pokemon called Mimikyu that's half Fairy-type and half-Ghost (then, during the dialogue in the background), and it wears a makeshift Pikachu plushy. Now, my brother- his name's Mort- was a Swirlix, which is Fairy-type, but since he's dead, he has a Ghost type added to him. Therefore, he shares this type with Mimikyu, who, like I said before, wears a makeshift Pikachu plushy. So Absent took all this into consideration, (dialogue fades out) and Absent figured- why not use a Swirlix plushy to bring him back from the dead? So, lo and behold, we went to the dollar store and bought a Swirlix plushy (dialogue fades back in), then we put it on the ground and within minutes Mort's spirit invaded the plushy! So now he can talk to my family again (dialogue fades back out) and with that said, Absent became a hero in the eyes of me and my parents and siblings, but of course, none of this would have happened without HP's intervention, so I'm begging you, just this once, use common sense and logic and bring your daughter back onto the ship with her friends where she belongs! (he pauses, then looks up at HP's mother nervously) You don't wanna end up throwing your daughter into the ocean, do ya?
Alle Vandertramp, entirely in one breath at about 5 words a second, SOSchip, Chapter 6, "Family Matters"

jij praat te veel, jij praat te veel
jij praat, jij praat, jij praat te veel
kun jij nu nooit eens stil zijn
jij praat te veel, jij praat te veel
jij praat, jij praat, jij praat te veel
zo krijgen wij weer hoofdpijn
Kabouter Plop, "Jij Praat Te Veel" note 

Not as big as they say, you, not nearly! 'Spected a mountain, all A got's a ghul-mound! Y'speak m'language, do ya? Y'speak blood, d'ya?! Speak guts?! 'Cause Imma done reckoning (?????) rip y'throat out so fast it'll whistle!
"Inscrutable" Uruks, Middle-earth: Shadow of War

Siuzan wrapped a stone in her coat to make a pillow. "We have no need for such ingenuity!" declared Mark Pol. "Not us. Lacking a head has advantages as well as disadvantages, I think. No need of pillows! No expensive hats! No costly sunglasses!"
"Be quiet," I hissed. "Go to sleep. Or if you do not, then at least let us go to sleep."
"I shall be silent as the night sky," he promised. But even when he was himself asleep he muttered and chattered to himself, scraps and orts of words, symptoms of a restless soul.
Land Of The Headless, by Adam Roberts

Crookedjaw's head was spinning. "Slow down," he meowed.
"Sorry!" Sedgepaw flattened her ears. "I know I talk too much but I just want to be the best apprentice. I'm so glad you're my mentor. You're the strongest cat in RiverClan, except Rippleclaw, but he's old - not an elder or anything - but you're younger and you remember what it's like to be a 'paw. And I'm going to listen to everything you tell me..."


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