Quotes / Mondegreen

Quotes about the trope

I like the missing pieces. I don't like things too tidy. Terry Gilliam heard the line "in a Portuguese saloon" [from The Part You Throw Away], and he thought I was saying, "On the porch, the geese salute." That's better! I hope more people misunderstand me.

— Tom Waits

He sang about things no one had bothered writing songs about before like space travel and fame and Les Dennis^note "Let's Dance" and about salmon fishing^note "Sound and Vision" and about someone making love with his eagle^note "making love with his ego" from "Ziggy Stardust", which is sort of sick, come to think of it.

— Philomena Cunk on David Bowie

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She got a new apartment
It's out on the escarpment
And in her glove compartment
Are my songs

She hasn't even heard them
Since she found out what the words meant
She decided she preferred them
All wrong

— Barenaked Ladies, Testing 1-2-3

Frank: You gotta pay the troll toll
To get into this boy's hole
You gotta pay the troll toll to get in.

You want this baby boy's hole
You gotta pay the Troll Toll—

Charlie: Dammit, Frank! You keep pronouncing it "boy's hole" when I clearly wrote "boy's soul"! Are you chewing gum while you're singing?! Spit it out!

—It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Nightman Cometh

One of the more interesting things I remember about this song is that everyone misheard the chorus. "I'm blue, I believe I will die, I'm in need of a guy, I got beat up at night". (In Aberdeen, I'm on diet) There are a lot of them. I think it's because the guy's autotune and accent are so wonky, but also because the human brain refuses to accept that this could really be as stupid as it is. Surely, there had to be more to this song than a never-ending list of monochromatic objects wrapped around a gibberish chorus? Nope, that's it. That's literally all it is — a bunch of nonsense syllables, and a list of blue things.

— Todd in the Shadows critiquing Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)"

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Wha-what did he just say? Godzilla sucks dick?

— James Rolfe commenting on a line from the Japanese dub of Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla

"All we need is somebody to lean on," I was hearing those Google commercials as "All we need is somebody's amiibo." Then again, it's truer!

— Chuggaaconroy

I love you when you're singing that song and
I got a lump in my throat because
You're gonna sing the words wrong

"Riptide" by Vance Joy (These are the actual lyrics, in case you were wondering.)

Commonly misheard phrases

A very memetic mishearing of Caramelldansen^note The original song is in Swedish, by the way, so some pronunciations sound very weird to the English-speaker.

Dance on me balls, cat fucking a handbag (Dansa med oss, Klappa era händer)

Yours, only, yours, (Gör som vi gör)

A walrus tickle dancepad (Ta några steg åt vänster)

It's no lie, Lisa in the crowd said, (Lyssna och lär, Missa inte chansen)

"Look, Harry had a vagina malfunction!" (Nu är vi här med Caramelldansen)

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Hamster! (Master!)
A Dentist! (Apprentice!)
Hard Porn! (Heartborne!)
Steven Seagal / Seagull! (Seventh Seeker!)
Mario! (Warrior!)
This Rifle/iPhone! (Disciple!)
And me, the Fishmaster! (In me, the Wishmaster!)

— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) for Nightwish's Wishmaster song

Snoo PINGAS usual, I see!

— Dr. Robotnik, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Fagateer! (Bucanneer!)
We got us some meth! (We got us a map!)
If you love to sell pussy (If you love to sail the sea)
CLAY AIKEN! (WEIGH ANCHOR!)
Dickity pregnant dick dickity fags! (Dinky-dink-dink-a-dinkadefast!)
Hang the black fag to the end of the mast! (Hang the black flag at the end of the mast!)
Fuck yeah!!!!!!!! (Again!!)
Land WHORE!!! (Land HO!!!)
We're touching black fags wherever we go! (Wind at your back, lads, wherever you go!)

— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) for LazyTown's You Are A Pirate

Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea!
Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea!
Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea!
Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea Mulan!

— "The End Begins", God of War II

Here we are now
In containers!
Avocado, and potato
In containers!

—Misheard lyrics for Smells Like Teen Spirit

DENNNNIS!
DENNNNIS!
DENNNNIS!
DENNNNIS!

— "Ghetsis Theme", Pokémon Black and White

"GO, GO. SANTA RIPOFF!"

— Misheard lyrics to Chairman Rose's battle theme in Pokémon Sword and Shield.

We had lots of the dreams, all creatures were most exploited
Honor and pay for each but there is no answer
We wind up and slip in through a trained ferret.
We are lots of the shit
But only been there three answers
before I caught the question
And slowly, I wish myself a long dream
but cannot hear myself wishing
We had lots of the people, who are the dreams, the ground receptive
Inquire to the poured concrete
Slowly, but there is no answer, or if there is, we don't understand...

When i talk to the trees
O'great trees who have learned to speak slowly
I know that they believe that they have an answer
Then i walk in the city where i cannot hear it
When i talk to the city
I have already learned three answers
Before i call the question
And slowly, i wish myself among trees
But can not hear myself wishing
When i talk to the people
Who are the trees that grow in the city
They reply with a fond kindness, slowly
But there is no answer
For experience to be made by mistake

— Misheard Lyrics followed by Actual Lyrics for the distorted section at the beginning of "Bent Cold Sidewalk" from Tangerine Dream's "Cyclone"

Wow Wow PENIS
Boku touch it PENIS
Wow Wow PENIS
Kimi touch it PENIS

Wow Wow VENUS
Bokutachi VENUS
Wow Wow VENUS
Kimitachi VENUS

— Misheard and actual lines from "Wow Wow VENUS" by VENUS

Might can trollz everything.

— Mishearing of Vergil's catchphrase "Might controls everything" from Devil May Cry, made particularly relevant by his infamy.

Captain America: Sergeant Strike (Stars And Stripes)!
Cyclops: Jean's nicer (Gene Splicer)!
Wolverine: Grill Claw (Drill Claw)!
Dr. Strange: By the forty hoes of Hogwarts (By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth)!
Thor: Buy Odin's beer (By Odin's beard)!
Sagat: Tiger Robocop (Uppercut)!
M. Bison: Know who you are! (unknown original line)
Ryu: I would like some fruitcake (Tatsumaki Senpukyaku)! Are you ken? (Hadouken!) Sure you can (Shoryuken)!
Alex: You can't have snake (You can't escape)!
Mai Shiranui: Me boingy (Nippon Ichi)!
Geese: I'll extend my hands, with your bra (I'll stain my hands, with your blood)/Deadly Rape (Rave)!
Spencer: Bionic... ARRRRRRR! (Arm!)

— Many, many, many fighting games. And there's plenty more where that came from.

He did a good job cleaning up the place

But his bosses didn't like him, so they shot him in his face (into space)

— Mystery Science Theater 3000 first theme song, misheard and actual. Not that they wouldn't be willing to.

I'm a little man! (I'm a leading man)
And I'm also evil! (And the lies I weave are)
Also into cats! (Oh so intricate)
Also into cats! (Oh so intricate)

— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) to Fall Out Boy's "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" song

Oooh, I'm an alien
I'm an evil alien (I'm a legal alien)
I'm an Englishman in New York

— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) to Sting's Englishman in New York

"We would have to change the attitude of everyone on Earth to make them a PENIS! (obey us) In every way!

— Dr. Kochin, Dragon Ball Z: The World's Strongest, "Big Green" dub

"Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, Gay Luigi? (eh, Luigi?)"

— Mario: Hotel Mario and the subject of many a YouTube Poop.

"So long, gay Bowser!" (So long, King-a Bowser!)

— Mario (when he throws Bowser into a mine), Super Mario 64

"D'oh, I missed!" (So ein mist! (Aw, darn!))

—Wario, Mario Party 2

(...)
Where the what the where the soup was
Where the what the where the soup was
(...)
Hey, what's up
Hey, what's up
Where's the soup, where's the song
Where's the soup, where's the song
Where's the soup, where's the song
That damned song, that damned song
That damned song, that damned song
Deus song, deus song

— Dawn of War Imperial Guard Theme (choir and percussion version)

Paul, I need this soup for my lady!
No, there is no soup for your lady.
Paul, I got this soup for my lady,
go reheat this soup for my lady!

Shit, I spilled my tomato soup. Chaos soup. Tomato soup.
Shit, I spilled my tomato soup. Chaos soup. Tomato soup.

—Ultramarine Chant from Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate

O shikarniy sup navarili, (O, have cooked a superb soup)
O velikiy sup navarili, (O, have cooked a great soup)
O shikarniy sup navarili,
O velikiy sup navarili,

Yesh sup, goryachiy sup, (Eat soup, hot soup)
Yesh sup, goryachiy sup...

—The same song misheard by Russian-speaking people. It actually became a huge meme in Russian internet.

Over and under and then up for air

— Actual lyrics to a song sung by Spike Jones's group

Over and under and then up her ass

— Lyrics misheard sufficiently often that the company rapidly recalled the records and removed the song from the market.

And her mangy little dog.
And her amazing little dog.

— Which version did the Wicked Witch say, when she had Dorothy and the others trapped?

I SAY 'CRY'! I SAY 'LIE'! I SAY 'RISE AGAIN'!
WAR! I HATE WAR! I HATE WAR!

"aLIEz" from Aldnoah.Zero. The actual lyrics are a multi-lingual word salad.

Turn back the dial, deplug your vinyl
Sam tried to clean up Dickbutt the Fighter
Turn back the Play-Doh, Big Bang tomato
G-5, G-5 oh, G-5 Joe Biden

— A few interpretations of some lyrics of The Training Room, Omikron: The Nomad Soul. Lyrics are actually "Turn back and climb up, defy your rival".

I hop off the plane at L-A-X
with a dream and my cardigan.
Welcome to the land of fame and sex (fame excess);
am I gonna fit in?

—Miley Cyrus, "Party in the USA" (Note that "fame and sex" rhymes with the opening line, while "fame excess" doesn't.)

Secret Screwius Wave! ("Secret Strike!" and "Furious Wave!" mashed together due to crappy sound mixing)

— Stella, Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

The smell of black chicks just put my spine out of place! (This mellow thighed chick just put my spine out of place!)

— Commonly misheard line from David Bowie's "Suffragette City"

(clickclick) ROCKET LAWN CHAIR! (ROCKET LAUNCHER!)

— The announcer used from Metal Slug X onwards

Code Monkey likes Cheetos (likes Fritos)
Code Monkey like a tab of Mountain Dew (likes Tab or Mountain Dew)
Code Monkey very simple man
With big warm fuzzy secret part (With big warm fuzzy secret heart)
Code Monkey like you
Code Monkey like you

— Jonathan Coulton's "Code Monkey" (aka the Real Song Theme Tune to the show of the same name.)

Onore DICKEIDO! ("Curse you, DECADE!")

— Narutaki always blames Kamen Rider Decade whenever things doesn't go as he intends.

Here comes love
It's not funny (like honey)
You can't buy it with money

— "Crystal" by New Order

Xbox, Pekingese, near a bear, manatee, (Estuans interius Ira vehementi)

Bells, frogs, big cherries, Peter Pan, magic cheese, (Estuans interius Ira vehementi)

SEPHIROTH!

— "One Winged Angel", Final Fantasy VII

WOOP! WOOP! Assassin de la police!

— What many French speakers hear during the chorus of KRS-One's "Sound of da Police"

I'll be the Marth, (audi famam)

E.G., Noob, (ilius)

So this is Yoshi's B, (solus in hostes ruit)

This monkey wants to hug him! (et patriam servavit)

— Super Smash Bros. Brawl's main theme

SHIT! ROCK! YEAH!

—Knuckles the Echidna, Sonic Heroes

"Bear this Torchic" (torch)

— "Lifelight", Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

"I like Gamera"

— "Gentleman", PSY

Easy does it
Easy does it
Make up something to say no to (They got something to say mental)

— "Kids With Guns", Gorillaz

I wonder if you know
How they live in Tokyo
If you see it then you mean it
Then you know you have to go
CLAUSTROPHOBIA! Dick, dick, dick! (FAST AND FURIOUS! Drift, drift, drift!)

— "Tokyo Drift" (famously used in the Fast And Furious movie of the same name), by Teriyaki Boyz

"Gotta go, gotta go gotta go!" (ya-yo, ya-yo ya-yo)

— 4Kids Entertainment opening of One Piece

"Heh...disguised toast." ("This guy's toast.")

— Summon quote for the SI:7 Agent, Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft

All right...
She dropped the cheesecake... (jigyeoun shisogeim)

— Commonly misheard lyrics from the chorus of "Trivia 轉: Seesaw", BTS

There's no chicken (Stars don't twinkle)
In the Shower (Moons don't shine)
There's no chicken
in the shower

— "For True Story", Sonic Adventure 2

Let the joy of love give you cancer (an answer)

— "Great Days", JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable

Oh, Hugh Hugh (Oh, you, you)
There's no whacking out of you (There's no one meaner than you!)
Oh, Mew Mew (Oh, you, you)
There's no walking on the moon! (There's no one meaner than yoooooou!!)

— chorus to Razorteeth's Villain Song, In Search of the Titanic (a.k.a. Tentacolino); misheard lyrics courtesy of The Nostalgia Critic

I will BURN MY BREAD

— "Burn My Dread", Persona 3

Ha ha ha, get the fuck out
Yo yo, happy birthday
Come get drunk on stream
Bifuteki bogega

YOU DIE!
I can't give all these gifts back
YOU DIE!
I came today

— "MUST DIE", BlazBlue: Central Fiction

On the first day of Christmas, no cardboard (snow-covered) trees I see

— The Reliable Reindeer, as featured in Stuart Ashen's and Nerd³'s 2019 advent calendar series. Guess what Dan gets on Day 10.

Bring Sally up
Bring Sally down

— Folk song Sampled Up in "Flower" by Moby (the actual lyric is "Green Sally up / Green Sally down"). Circa 2018, it became the basis for a popular exercise challenge, almost always referred to as "Bring Sally Up".

A ghost tried to approach me and got Larry (leery)

—"A Ghost's Pumpkin Soup", Sonic Adventure 2

I'm living on such sweet nothing!

— Actual lyrics in Sweet Nothing

I'm living on Sexy Elephant!

— Lyrics misheard here, too. Discussed here.

Think of Batman pooping snakes.

When you leave the moon behind

You'll see him when you die!

You can fly! You can fly! You can fly!

—memetic lyrics to the Peter Pan song "You Can Fly".

Saw some cookies, great big cookies, they ate up all the people

She's got fake boobs. Great big fake boobs. See here it's on the label.

One place for them, SANDPAPER AAH!

—Misheard Lyrics to O Fortuna.

She's got electric boobs! A monkey suit! (She's got electric boots, a mohair suit)

— "Benny and the Jets"

Hold me closer, Tony Danza! (Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer)

— "Tiny Dancer"

There's a bathroom on the right!

There's a baboon on the rise!

— "Bad Moon Rising"

And then I shot a kid, and bought a new TV ^{Actual lyric (in Italian)} E non lasciare che, paure inutili

— Common anglophone mondegreen of Emi, "Anima Libera"

I WILL HAVE SEX WITH BEES AND THE EAGLES!

HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! POTATO PIZZA!!

HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! HA!! POTATO PIZZA!!

— A common English mondegreen of the first theme song to Attack on Titan. ^{Actual lyric (in German)} Sie sind das Essen und wir sind die Jäger! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Wir sind der Jäger! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Wir sind der Jäger! One can only imagine that Sasha may have lost her mind...

Make red leaves read porn (Make beliefs reborn)
It's a labrador (Myths in mind rethought)
Question a dead stone (Question all that's known)
Legends blew the Tom (Legends blurred and torn)

— Misheard (and actual) lyrics of "Seven Rings In Hand" from Sonic and the Secret Rings

Pink pajamas, penguins on the bottom

Pink pajamas, penguins on the bottom

—Commonly misheard background vocals for "Circle of Life" from The Lion King

Winter-Tee-Tag, Winter-Tee-Tag

— One possible mondegreen on "Winter-Ade-Tag", the German version of "Winter Wrap-up" from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic; translates to "Winter Tea Day". Sometimes quoted or even sung by German bronies in jest.

Winter-D-Tag, Winter-D-Tag

— The other one that's even worse, for it translates to "Winter D-Day".

"I'm just sitting here nude, I'm just sitting here nudeeee!" ^{Actual lyric}  I'm just second-hand news, I'm just second-hand newssss!

— Fleetwood Mac, "Second-Hand News"

Rise like a dragon!
Punch a woman!
Hurricane force kick!
Got the twister, I'll twist 'em!

—The memetic mondegreen, thanks to an illustrated video, of the lyrics in the training stage for the Japanese version of Tatsunoko vs. Capcom ^{Actual lyrics}  "Rise like a dragon!/Punch 'em, won't miss 'em/It's a hurrricane force kick, got the twister, I'll twist em" but the middle line is interrupted, making it sound like "Punch a woman." Which you can do in the game anyway, since the game has female fighters, so it's kind of appropriate in its inappropriateness.

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