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Quotes / Mister Muffykins

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I'm gonna kill the dog next door
Ain't gonna bark anymore
Cause this is Judgment Day
And the little runt has got to pay
No more turds on my lawn
That stupid mutt will soon be gone
Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog!
— "Kill The Dog Next Door", The Arrogant Worms

"I exchange laughter with a group of walkers as Snowy chases a similar-looking dog in mad circles and has to be dragged away... a blonde woman doing the same carries a dog in her arms like a baby. I almost hesitate to put all this down, as it seems too much of a stereotype, right down to the bug-eye Kardashian sunglasses. Her dog's legs are too stubby to walk across the stones; its billowing coat of white fluff too delicately coiffed to get plastered in wet sand. From his owner's arms, the dog looks across at Snowy, who's running free and wild, with the gaze of Richie Rich peering out a darkened limousine window, slowly being driven past some laughing children who're running barefoot around a spraying fire hydrant, with a mixture of sneering 'look at those simple bastards' and a deep sadness that he'll never be able to get out and join them."

"My wife and I walk around New York City pushing Petunia the French bulldog in a stroller, and it's a big stroller and has a big black hood. And people lean in to see the baby. And instead they see a gargoyle breathing like Chris Christie. [Breathes heavily] Her paws are sweating. We're like, 'He's sick.'"

"If God had intended for dogs to be fashion accessories, they would have been made with handles."


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