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Quotes / Mighty Glacier

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Comic Books

"Even in college, Coach Kleats was not required to slide into bases. ... You see, he was never built for speed - so he merely hit everything out of the park. "
Coach Clayton to Kleats' flabbergasted students, Archie 75th Anniversary Digest #7

Film — Live-action

"To beat this guy, you need speed. You don't have it. And your knees can't take the pounding, so hard running is out. And you got arthritis in your neck, and you've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out. So, what we'll be calling on is good, ol' fashion, blunt-force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much, they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!"
Duke, Rocky Balboa

Live-Action TV

Malefax Skulkingworm: Go on, after them!
Henchman: [panting] I don't really do quick. I'm more your "lumbering menace" type.

Video Games

This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny
Can make a Kremling cry out for mummy
Can pick up a boulder with relative ease
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze
He may move slow
He can't jump high
But this Kong's
One Hell of a guy!
— "The DK Rap," Donkey Kong 64

Float like a tank hit like a tank
Now for the way put the money in the bank
— "Survival," by Soul Purpose from MadWorld

Handles like a tank. Hits like a tank. Basically, it is a tank. It just looks like a van.

Tough as a dump truck and nearly as big, these Goliaths are the worst things on two legs since Tyrannosaurus rex.
Doom manual on the Barons of Hell

"Those $200 bullets ain't so hot when they don't hit nuthin', are they?"
Scout to Heavy, Team Fortress 2

"You're up against the wall, and I' am the fucking wall!"
The Bulldozer, PAYDAY 2

"This thing is slow, but it can take a beating!"
Luke Skywalker piloting a Y-Wing, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron

Lumbering as a sea lion, clumsy as a berry-drunk pigeon. That was Erqi.
It mattered little. When Erqi's maul fell true, so did its target.



"So we got a class change. So what? It's not like it can do anything for me. I'm a wiz of both swordery and chuckery. What else is there? Nothin'!"
Fighter McWarrior, 8-Bit Theater ("Fighter Kinda Likes Swords")

Mr. Huge: Huge! Huge! HUUUGE! OK, now we can fight.
Snowflake: Jesus dude, can you even move?

Web Video

"Now you'll see these three Bluto-looking idiots who decided to attack me with bolders. And they—they got me. That's just embarassing."

"In raw power, it can't be beat. But the amount of concentrated energy causes an extreme expansion in mass. The body can't compensate. And while you'll see a 50% power increase, you'll see a 75% decrease in speed and mobility. You'd never hit your opponent."
Goku on Super Saiyan Third Grade, Dragon Ball Z Abridged

"We've gotta be strength-based. We've gotta be just like our name: "Rock Hard." So I think I'm going to squeeze some more [skill points] into... strength stuff. Agility what- agility warrior? No! I'm not agility, I'm strength! Fuck off."
Robbaz, Mount & Blade: Warband - Viking Conquest

"[The Greatsword] is a weapon that's good for people who are used to being disappointed, because you will never hit anything with it, as it's slower than a tortoise on its way to a monopoly game at the DMV. But on the off chance you do hit anything, you do some pretty good damage; not as much as the Sword & Shield, but it's comparable."

Western Animation

"The bigger they are, the slower they are!"
Jade Chan, Jackie Chan Adventures