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Quotes / MacGuffin

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"This stone is not yet twenty years old. It was found in the banks of the Amoy River in soutern China and is remarkable in having every characteristic of the carbuncle, save that it is blue in shade instead of ruby red. In spite of its youth, it has already a sinister history. There have been two murders, a vitriol-throwing, a suicide, and several robberies brought about for the sake of this forty-grain weight of crystallised charcoal. Who would think that so pretty a toy would be a purveyor to the gallows and the prison?"
Sherlock Holmes, "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle"

"A lesson in business, my friend: If you have a unique commodity, the world and his wife will try to wrestle it from your grasp, even if they have no idea as to its true value."
Donald Love, Grand Theft Auto III

"If the balls were ever removed, Baghdad would be in great danger."
Tack, the lame Miramax version of The Thief and the Cobbler

"Ahh, you're here. Good. We've got a problem. A big one. The controller chip for our water purification system has given up the ghost. Can't make another one and the process is too complicated for a work around system. Simply put, we're running out of drinking water. No water, no Vault. This is crucial to our survival. And frankly, I... I think you're the only hope we have. You need to go find us another controller chip. We estimate we have four to five months before the Vault runs out of water. We need that chip. We marked your map with the location of another Vault. Not a bad place to start, I think. Look, just be safe, OK?"
The Overseer, Fallout

Millie: Its function is to advance the plot.
Ozy: Wouldn't that require it to do something?
Millie: Apparently I really don't know what I'm doing.

"The spice. must. flow."
Lord MacGuffin, The Nostalgia Chick's review of Dune

Lord MacGuffin: Alright, so your assignment, class, is to go out and find me a MacGuffin. But you only have an hour.
Makeover Fairy: Why only an hour?
Lord MacGuffin: Because.
Inside the N Chick Labs

"They tell me that the greatest storehouses of gold may be found on the Spelljammer. I believe them.
"They tell me that the mightiest libraries, containing the knowledge of half a hundred worlds, are stored within. I believe that, too.
"But they also tell me that those who walk the decks of the
Spelljammer are never seen by the eyes of mortal men. And I believe that. And until I hear otherwise on the last point, I don't want to be checking out the first two."
Kali Makabuck, the Realms (Legend of the Spelljammer)

"Now Cobra owns the MacGuffin device... whatever it does!"
Cobra Strato-Viper, G.I. Joe

"The Holy MacGuffin — I'm the one that gave it that silly name, because I haven't got a damn clue what's so important about it. Only that it is very, very important."
Ed the Undying, Kingdom of Loathing

"All the dude ever wanted... was his rug back. Not greedy. It really... tied the room together."'
The Dude, The Big Lebowski

"So this orb has a real shiny blue suitcase/Ark of the Covenant/Maltese Falcon sort of vibe, what is it?"

"It's the thing that the characters on the screen worry about, but the audience don't care."

Black Jack Tarr: By the way, just what are these documents?
Sir Denis Nayland Smith: Oh, the usual statistics and figures — codes — probably all manner of scribbled intrigue. Sometimes I suspect these secret documents are actually rather meaningless... existing solely to perpetuate the spy business, as you call it, Black Jack...