- From "Evil...and His Brother Ziggy", a Funny Moment illustrating the Crime Time Soap aspects of the show:Charlie: Ted... is this curry?Ted: You don't like it, is it too spicy?Charlie: Indian food? [glances at Native American Capt. Whitehat]Ted: It was a coincidence, I just grabbed the first menu!Capt. Whitehat: How long have you ?Charlie: Since we met in prison.Ted: But we're not... together.[Rachel sits down and glares at Charlie.]Capt. Whitehat: This isn't your daughter?Charlie: No. She's "not" my niece. And there's "not" a boy "not" playing a guitar at the other end of a ph.Rachel: That's exactly right, there's not.Charlie: Look, Rachel, I was worried.Rachel: No, he was worried [points at Ted], you were gone. I came home, you weren't here; I called, you didn't pick up.Charlie: I was in the middle of nowhere!Capt. Whitehat: By that he means my home.Rachel: You come and go. [storms off]Ted: I'm in love with Olivia. Charlie, I'm in love with the woman who's going to marry your father. [storms off]Charlie: White people.Capt. Whitehat: Pass the vindaloo?
- From "Fill it Up" - when Charlie puts Kyle Hollis in his trunk.Charlie: How's it going in there, Kyle? The first six months I was in solitary, I did push-ups every day and I never talked to myself. The next six months, I stopped doing push-ups and I...I confess...I did talk a little to myself. The six months after that...those next six months, Kyle? You don't wanna know what happened then.
Quotes / Life