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Quotes / Knife Nut

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"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man, and knife."
Lee Christmas, The Expendables 2

Oh the shark babe, has such teeth, dear
And he shows them, pearly white
Just a jack knife, has old Macheath, babe
And he keeps it, out of sight
Mack the Knife

Arthur: He's taking the knife out of the cheese!
Linda: Oh my God.
Arthur: (whimpering) Do you think he wants some cheese?

Kano: Oooooh... now, look at this! This li'l baby brings back memories now, doesn't it?
Sonya: What, you used it to knife your mother in the back?
Kano: Nah. It put a big smile on your partner, though. Ear... to ear.

"Here, stick this in your pipe and bleed to death slowly."
Jack Noir, Homestuck

"His friend is a knife, that's why he's still alive."
— "Warchild" by Running Wild; from their Rock from Hell demo

I'm a crazy, (crazy) sonuva bitch
I'mma cut you, swish-swish
in a Knife Fight (Knife Fight)
Knife Fight (Knife Fight)
Knife Fight! Knife Fight!
Lemon Demon, Knife Fight

"So how are we going to defeat Yugi? Are we going to kill him? Because I would be totally on board with that. Especially if it involves knives. I like knives. They make me feel all tingly."

"That's my words of wisdom. Anyone who wants to get far in this game, my rules are: 1. Get the knife. 2. Get the knife. 3. GET THE KNIFE."

"The rifle is the first weapon you learn how to use, because it lets you keep your distance from the client. The closer you get to being a pro, the closer you can get to the client. The knife, for example, is the last thing you learn."
Léon, The Professional

"Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?"
The Joker, The Dark Knight

Alice Margatroid: So, for what reason do you worry? About yourself.
Sakuya Izayoi: Because I'm carrying only three changes of clothes. For myself.
Alice Margatroid: Ah, good reason.
Sakuya Izayoi: That, and a spare set of knives too.
Alice Margatroid: Ah, I — KNIVES?!
Perfect Cherry Blossom, before the Stage 3 boss fight vs. Alice.

"Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro."

Jack: [To Sawyer about Locke's hunting] Well if you've gotta better idea?
Sawyer: Better than the three of us wandering into the magic forest to bag a hunk of ham with nothing but little bitty hunting knife? Hell no, it's the best idea I ever heard. ''[Locke reveals his suitcase full of hunting knives.]
Hurley: Who is this guy?
Lost, on John Locke

Across his chest, in scabbards rest
The rows of glowing knives
Whose razor points in challenged tests
Have finished many lives
Judas Priest, "The Sentinel"

"I don't care if I go through life and don't help a lot of people or save a million lives. I just don't want to get stabbed. If I can get through life without getting stabbed, I win — that's how I feel. It just seems so horrible. It's not like getting shot. When you get shot, you don't see the bullet going in. You're just like, 'Alright — BANG! — whoa, I just got shot.' When you get stabbed, it's like you're there the whole time."
Nick Swardson, Comedy Central Presents

Tim-Tom Moppet: A hit, eh? You want us to make 'im suffer? Or just end it, quick and quiet-like?
Brock: Nah, nothin' permanent... just, like, give him a little taste of fear. I guess you can break something small... like a toe...
Tim-Tom Moppet: We can take out his tongue..
Kevin Moppet: With a knife!
Tim-Tom Moppet: Or remove 'is 'eart...
Kevin Moppet: Yeah, with a knife!
Tim-Tom Moppet: A bigger knife!
Kevin Moppet: FUCKING KNIFE!
Brock: Yeeeeahhhhhhh... you guys... are... kinda creepy. I think this may be a stupid idea.
The Venture Bros., "The Buddy System"

"She carries fifty-seven knives. On her body."
Zuko, in the Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic Male Bonding, about Mai.

"Hold a knife like this, (holds knife normally) cut an onion. Hold a knife like this (switches to backhand grip) cut through, like, eight yakuza in four seconds. Screams, blood, carnage. People are like knives."
Eliot, Leverage, "The Wedding Job"

"I can't resist the knife. So sleek, so sharp. So silent. I wonder, will I do it slow or fast? On the one hand, I'd love for you to feel every inch of metal slowly pierce your skin and then rip your belly asunder. Just the thought puts a smile on my face. Not that you can see it. But on the other hand, there's nothing quite so satisfying as slitting a man's throat. There's such a sinister beauty in the efficiency of it. The pain would wake you up just in time to die."
Black Mage, 8-Bit Theater, The Big House.

"Clove opens her jacket. It’s lined with an impressive array of knives. She carefully selects an almost dainty-looking number with a cruel, curved blade."
Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games

"Now, stand back, I gotta practice my stabbin'! Ha-haHAAA!"
Roberto, Futurama

So knives out
Cook him up
Squash his head
Put him in the pot
Radiohead, "Knives Out."

"Probably miss that target from here. Maybe I should just knife 'em...."
"Damn guns! A knife never runs out of ammo!"
"Thanksgiving's here. Time to carve up some turkeys...."
Bill "Razor" Lamont, Jagged Alliance 2

Australian man: You call that a knife? This is a knife.
Bart: That's not a knife, that's a spoon.
Australian man: All right, all right, you win, heh. I see you've played Knifey-Spooney before.
The Simpsons, "Bart Vs. Australia".

"Well, look what I found. A big, sharp knife!"

Roll up and see the terrifying ripper with his blade!
His magic knife will end your life, of One Hit Kills it's made!
He'll lunge right through your bullets and he'll stab you in the toe,
then farewell to your controller, out the window it will go!

"I am not anti-gun. I'm pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We'd turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don't ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives."
Molly Ivins

Mad Dummy, Undertale

"Sometimes people say that I really don’t seem Evil enough for this job, that the Deeth family has in general been a softer Evil than in the past. I have to say that I take these criticisms to heart. And by criticisms, I do mean ceremonial daggers. And by heart, I mean the hearts of my detractors."
Corn Deeth III, Kakos Industries

"I gotta tell you, I do approve of your choice of weapons. What you picked, that's called a KA-BAR. It's a Marine's best friend. You know, up close, I'd rather have this than any firearm. You see with a gun, a target can get lucky. A bullet can miss what's important. But not with this. You slide it in, you guide it through, and you rip right into the parts of a man that make him dead. There's no luck in that. From where you're sitting right now, say you had a gun. You could be locked and loaded, and I'd still rather be me. I could close the distance. Cut that little head of yours clean off before you'd ever get a shot. You feel tough, now? Huh?"
Frank Castle, to an eleven-year-old boy, The Punisher

Skout: Uh, Toth? Why do we need so many knives again?
Toth: (produces a much larger knife than the ones Skout was just looking at) Stabbing.
Skout: (pulls what looks like a spiked corkscrew out of the knife sack) Even this one?
Toth: Especially that one.
Nomad of Nowhere, "The Dreaded Nomad"

Sean: You know, vanity is a sin, Mr. Escuella.
Javier: So is judging others, my little friend.
Sean: Me Da used to say...the bigger the box, the smaller the gift.
Javier: You know, my father always say to me...if someone disrespects you? Fillet them with a knife.

"That's not negotiable".
Cicada about his dagger, The Flash (2014)


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